Monday, 30 March 2015

not lost an ounce

I've cut out snacks, I have a small lunch and dinner, I take the dog for much longer walks, and try to do a bit of power walking as I do it...I even gulp, have been doing pushups and sit ups.

and 2 weeks later

not an ounce lost....

I hate diets..but I still have folds, so have to keep it up.

increasing the pushup count from 1 to ...1.5 next week maybe...


Sunday, 29 March 2015

Sober code review

Damn I was drunk last night......but boy was I productive...and after going though it today, aside from misspelling a lot of labels, the code is excellent. As was the graphic optimisations I did to try to produce a graphic solution to a scrolling issue I didn't have the space to code.

I seem to be becoming more coherent and focused while drunk.....

Scuze me, I have to do a quick shopping trip to the off-license...4 crates of Cabernet Sauvignon should do it.


quite drunk

yup did even more coding, and fuck me it all works.

seems to be the way to do it.

only trouble is it makes me sadder than hell, wish Brenda was still here, I miss her so much

being drunk and productive isn't worth the pain I feel not having her here.


maybe not yet

With the benefit of wine, I managed to do quite a lot of Z80 coding today

of course, it was with the benefit of wine, so it may not actually work when I am sober.

ta daaaaaa!


Thursday, 26 March 2015

Am I past it?

Health issues aside, (99.95% now so pretty much there)

I worry if I am still up to my job..not the teaching, I still love that, and enjoy the challenges it gives me. But as a programmer, can I still cut it?

The last year, I have had so little time to do much programming, but when I get time, it never seems to be productive.. I can't seem to finish my Z80 project, though I usually work on it 5-10hrs or so a week, I seem to spend more time firefighting and hunting for memory than actually progressing towards a clearly visible but still distant end. I can't do much more till that's out the way as people are waiting for it to be finished and I can't let them down. There's an old coders adage, 95% of the work is in the last 5% of the project....very true in this case.

I have also a PSM and a PS4 project on the back burner...but just no great inspiration to move forward with them. The PSM one is dead though, since Sony have sadly decided to kill of the PSM sad..
But the PS4 gig is potentially a great thing.. it was going to be my Masters gig project but the masters never kicked off, so back burnered, with a glance from time to time. I fear disappointing an old friend who has let me run with this project he originally created with his brother...But I do still hope it will be the masters project in Sept... Not that I want to do the masters..but if I have to, that's the project I want to do. etc....moan moan rant rant. Masters crap shit fuck..

I dunno what I need to do, I've had writers block before of course, but I never used to suffer prolonged writers block, I have an enviable reputation for getting projects finished, but that drive seems to be missing.. I can't just sit down and do it....all my tips and tricks which I pass on to students are not working...I need a kick up the arse from somewhere, but its just not there.

We're moving into a quiet period at work, for 3 weeks, and I have a quiet block also coming up then summer...that might finally give me some chance to recharge... I can't wait for the summer holidays, though mostly I plan to sleep and do as little as possible, before going down to La Moreau in France, for a special week of guitar playing and performing in memorial to a lost friend.

I think I need to do something else for a while...once I get the Z80 thing still fills my time, but not when I am so busy with work.  Could it be time to clear out the shed and get my model building tools set up on the workbench?? hmmmm naaahhh...too much hassle.

Being single also isn't helping, I can't say how much I miss Brenda, she doesn't read this, so I can be open, I can't really get over her, nothing would make me happier than having her back in my life, but I know in time nothing would make her sadder....can't win!

Need more time,  apparently it heals all wounds....might bleed to death waiting though....hmm there's a song lyric for someone.

hmmm that got depressing quite quick........can't think of a way to make it lighter right now...Better just go get back to staring at my screen, I have some odds and ends of marking and project reviews to do...suppose I might as well crack on with this.


Friday, 20 March 2015

New Board Layout

I don't carry this around as much as I did, its too heavy, this is what I now consider my solo performance looping board, since I don't need to do much vocal effects or any looping with the band, the looper and big vocal unit are not essential to band work. Since I don't gig solo (maybe one day) it now mostly static in the attic.

But I like this board a lot, I've now added the Beat Buddy to it, which I love to use but am having some issues getting it to midi sync with loops, I dunno if its a problem with the RC-300 which is known to have issues as a slave, or the BB which may have issues being a slave...but bottom line is they drift after a few loops making it hard to have the BB as the drums in a performance piece......I don't beat box expexially well with a paralysed lip so I do kinda need a drum system that works for me.

If its a BeatBuddy software issue with its receive being slightly wrong, it will get fixed.. boss sure as hell have no interest in fixing the RC-300 slave functionality...shame.

anyway heres the new layout of the board... A bit of space I could fill in but won't, and a few straight cables still in place which will be changed for angled ones soon to clean things up a bit more.


Thursday, 19 March 2015

Diets make you hungry....and my will power is terrible...but 91.3kg

I have cheated several times, the packet of choccy raisins was just asking to be eaten

But slow and steady the grams are dropping... AND I have discovered something very useful

Breakfast grain biscuits...choccy ones from Aldi... 79Kcals for 2 of em, but they stop you feeling hungry for at least a couple of hours in the morning.. I'm not normally a breakfast person, except at weekends, but I do get hungry as hell around 11 and often sneak in a sausage roll or baguette snack before more..

The breaky biccies let me last till lunch time when said Sausage roll or baguette is lunch, and even then only 1 sausage roll or half sized baguette. So trading in 79Kcal for 500 or so is a good plan.
They do have a salad bar at the work canteen but its not very inspiring, I might just walk to the store and buy a ready made one..only use half the dressing.

Not much weight coming off yet but still early days, and only just beginning to exercise...risked a few morning pushups, which I will try to do every day as well as a some Ab crunches, also taking the dog for much longer faster paced evening walks... I'll try to hit the gym soon..(grrr)

A rough BMI calculation has me at 30.9 which is obese...well the folds told me that.. I basically need to lose 30Kg to be in my perfect weight for my height, but I'll settle for getting down to around 70kg without the folds. Less than my stated target, but that sill has me in the overweight group, so I need to aim lower but not at the 60 it wants for ideal..I am 51 after all I can't expect a washboard stomach and pert just lose the weight and tone up and I'll be happy...might live a few months longer.

Oh, so far coughing fits...a bit of throat clearing but no won't last the whole day, but its nice to not notice the that I think about it, I want to cough...dammit.


Sunday, 15 March 2015

Oh and I really am going on a diet.

Caught sight of my nakedness in the mirror this morning.....there were folds....FOLDS...I just can't handle that...

Not going to do anything fancy...2 small meals a day, avoid butter/oils/fat and no eating after 8pm

Can't believe there were FOLDS!!! oh ugghh... I'll be washing myself with a rag on a stick before long.

start weight is 92Kg.... target 80kg... It will be done, and I will buy myself a new bikini for the hols when I get there.



stuck at 99% maybe I should use some homeopathy

Still can't shake the damn time....though as soon as I tell him/her that I feel better he'll suggest I come back in 2 this space.

There is an astonishing argument going on, on Facebook, which I have been part of but no more, It has made me realize that people are just unbelievably dumb and unwilling to accept facts if it does not fit with their view.

Its about homeopathy of course, I dunno how to link a specific FB thread but its the Richard Dawkins page, where they highlighted the homeopathy research in Australia, as I did in the last thread.

What follows is an absolute clusterfuck of misinformation, misunderstanding and blind stupidity on a level I can barely comprehend.

Misinfomation 1st...sadly they used an image of a rack of herbal essential I'm not going to say these are utter nonsense....some good does come from their use in massage, and inhalation, but its hardly medicine...but more importantly its not many people just jumping on that as a sideways means to defend their belief in homeopathy.

Misunderstanding and stupidity....I cannot, I mean I really cannot comprehend how incredibly bad this is, 99% of the people posting in defense of homeopathy clearly think it is a herbal remedy, in the same way as Aspirin, ginger and garlic etc are.....its incredible to me that people are so astonishingly misinformed... It matters not how many people post on the thread to point this out, THEY KEEP MIXING IT UP.

Herbal remedies are not useless, they may not have a lot of efficacy, but for some very specific things they do work and many modern drugs own their origins to herbal remedies.

Homeopathy is something totally different, it is basically like taking a tablet of aspirin, which we know helps with many things.....throwing it in a reservoir.. and expecting every one who takes a glass of water from that reservoir to have their headaches cured... It is utter madness

When I was a kid, I genuinely was amazed at they way communication and travel made the world a much smaller more intimate place. The sharing of knowledge convinced me that in time we would see an end to wars, a global understanding of science and an ability to tap into the knowledge of mankind to make life better, a bit like Star Treks utopia..
We have all that global understanding today via the internet, but rather than enlighten us it seems to have made us more and more convinced our stupidity is right because we are able to find other stupid people to back us up.

The internet has caused confirmation bias to run wildly out of control, we no longer trust anyone we appoint to take care of or lead us, doctors, scientists, governments are all out to destroy us with their massive conspiracies and evil deeds to keep us down. We've seen the rise of fanatics, and a glorification of stupidity and ignorance. Not just Homepathy; Anti Vaxxers, Jihadists, 9/11 truthers, Neo Right wingers of all styles, Illuminati, Lizards in government...the list is too long....too incredibly stupid to bother getting our head around.

If I could afford it... I think I really would just go find a cabin in the woods somewhere, take my retirement collection of scale models to build and hide away waiting for death or a UFO lift to some other planet. I just don't think I care anymore about this planet and the naked apes running it.

But everyday I read the news and I know...we're heading for oblivion....

Hey Aliens, if you're reading this....please take me with you?



Thursday, 12 March 2015

Well I already knew this wouldn't help

As always, the Alternative medicine nutters are swarming all over the internet now that another massive study on the efficacy of Homeopathy has does nothing.

Hardly a surprise of course, but still people refuse to listen, from the Big Pharma consipiracy nuts, to the, well it works for me gullible people, are rushing all over the net to comment.

And Missing the point as always.


Placebo....its as simple, yet complex as that. The Human body is fantastically effective at fighting illness, virus, diseases even some of its own genetic conditions, every single minute of every single day our bodies are working hard to kill infections and grew and replace damaged tissues that occur as an everyday fact of life.
We probably get attacked by a 1000 cold or flu viruses a day, but for the most part our body kicks their asses and moves on and we never notice/

Its only when the body gets overwhelmed and our defenses routed that we get sick, a virus, we don't know, or damage too big to fix quick, then we need help.

What controls our level of immunity to sickness, is basically unknown, but we do know that stress, poor mental outlook and a host of other life issues can have an impact on our immune system, that makes us less able to fight and gives the bugs a chance to get us.

But equally, we can boost our immune system, positive thinking, positive actions all work wonders and help us fight a whole range of illnesses, from Cancer to man-flu (actually there is no cure for man-flu, millions of men die every hour from it)

Placebo is the trigger for this positivity, it comes in countless forms, but the basic idea is that someone cares how we are doing and is paying attention to us, and we feel good about that...allowing us to fight. Even babies and animals can benefit from placebo, they just need to be made to feel that someone cares and is doing something for them.

Now...if you accept that placebo is a real thing, and it most certainly is....then you need to realize all the quack medicines out there are just pandering to that placebo effect...if it makes you better that's fantastic, but sugar pills and a cuddle from someone you love will have exactly the same effect.

Lets not be stupid about this, its just making greedy people rich.


Monday, 9 March 2015

97% fit

Creeping up a bit, I STILL have a cough, last night it got quite bad too, it seems any time I expose my lungs to cold night air I have to pay for it.

This is 8weeks of a cough...I can't recall ever having a cough for so long, I am getting nagged to go to the docs but while that has merit I know that I am improving, which gives you some idea how bad it was originally.
If I can just keep away from cold night air I should be ok...

hmmm I wish the dog could walk himself before bedtime


Thursday, 5 March 2015

95% fit

One advantage of work at home days is I can have a really good lie in,  at least as long as the dog stays cuddled up in his bed and does not want to go walkies

I still have a bit of a cough, but overall, I am sleeping all night and the cough is not chronic and constant

Can't say I'm 100% yet, till the cough finally goes, but I am feeling so much better, sore ribs and stomach have eased and the coughs are more of a clear out than a bring up a lung and pop several blood vessels while you're at it.

Still want to see the back of it.

Not much other news to speak of, been busy finishing the last of my late grading, only to discover I can't enter the damn things on the school system..grrr

Finally getting some time to code on personal and school projects too, so my mojo is slowly returning. But my frustrations with slow internet connection to my PC (caused by my dongle not the ISP) are proving to dent that mojo.

Soon be done with my Z80 gig, its been painfully slow and much harder than I expected but after a couple of major bug finds I can now creep toward the finish line at last. Next up is a PS4 gig I've been back burnering for too long