kill me now

I am so damn tired, and looking in the mirror I look it.

The cough has died off quite a bit thankfully, though strangely at night around bedtime it decides to pop back for a visit, keeping me away for a while but I am no longer getting the hacking till 3am stuff again..

Right now main problem is sinus pain...every day I seem to get a mega headache behind my right eyebrow...and its pretty intense. Paracetamol seems to be ok though if I can take it before the pain really kicks in.


oh god look at me...sat here moaning about how sick I am....me!!!! Someone who hates being sick, hates the concept of being sick and refuses to go see docs.

I need to stop posting health updates.. I'm starting to sound like a hypochondriac, the thing I despise more than anything in the world.

In other news.....I'm too sick to care about :D

nah...other things in life are equally depressing right now, still painfully  single, still bored shitless at home, still drinking too much, and not able to make any new music vids till my voice comes back without a cough every time I try to sing.
Made a big batch of chicken curry though...so will have plenty to eat for this month.. Need to blance it up with some Mince and tatties and Spag bol so the freezer lottery can be a bit more interesting.

Bad news though, my boiler needs to be replaced, the annual service reports it is leaking CO and not safe to use...that's a nice new expense to make up for the nice mortgage rate reduction I got the other month..so much of excess disposable income. :(

Life really is pretty shit at the moment isn't it....no money, no woman, no pleasure, no...oh wait..booze... its not that bad.

Work is starting to settle in to a routine, though the new V2 system still needs to settle in. I'm currently working with some new framework software and getting my head around it. Its very good though, and some small improvements from  my colleagues and me have produced a really nice piece of code that the students can make full use off for their projects.

Next week they get to start their main block A project, having done all the prep work for it..they now have to do a bit more learning to learn, and learning by doing...with some gentle pushes from us.

I'm going to make an effort to create a few videos for students on how to use the framework, soon as I don't look like I've just woke up from a 3 week bender... I do not want vids of me looking like crap hovering on any site for years to come.

Oh well coffee break over, back to work...how do I get the new sprite batching system to work with animation.....hmmm

Ahthankyew

ugghhhh

I am in soooo much pain I can't tell you, 2 ocycontins, 2 Solpadine and an antihistime, are not helping...and what is this pain....my sinus's.....yup, finally the cough sorta stops, and now I have about 100pounds of pressure in my sinus cavity, refusing to be released and my head feels like its about to explode. only now with the drugs starting to do something am I actually able to look at a screen, with one eye closed and constantly wiping my eyes, which are weeping without any emotional issues... its just the most astonishing intense pain.

All this from 1 fucking cold nearly 2 months ago....wtf I mean really wtf... I used to shake off colds with ease... I need to start looking for a nice warm country to live in, I can't deal with this shit anymore.

Argghhh just arghhh I am so fucking tired, physically and mentally from silly illnesses..


Ahthankyew

Sleep does not heal all

After a week or more of getting by on less than 3 hours sleep per night , I took the chance to use my work at home day to maximise my sleep..went to bed last night at 8, yes 8...but the minute I dozed off I woke up coughing...so down stairs to have a mug of chocolate and do some student emails, before getting dozed up on cough meds, anti-histamines and pain meds for all my torn muscles(the cough has been so bad, I've torn muscles all over my stomach, and they bloody hurt..)...and boom got to sleep

till 3-30....more meds...back to bed...but this time I managed to get a decent sleep in, with no alarm set I woke up at 10, feeling chesty and congested but not as bone dead tired as I have the last several days.

So am happily now sat here dealing with student questions, finishing up some code on the main framework, and getting on with things...still coughing though....another few nights this weekend though....here's hoping.



In other news...Margaret is poorly, her intonation has gone massively off, almost a semi tone on the E an B stings at 12th fret...that's a massive amount, so she's off to the nice guitar doc at Dijkmans for a service and set up, hope its not a sign of a twisted neck or anything serious.

Ahthankyew

Its called Postnasal drip

After having a horrible cold, then another which gave me a chesty cough, then a chest infection which maintained the chesty cough, had a bit of a respite in the French air, due in part to some great French cough meds.  I finally started to feel better a few days ago as my chest was much clearer...only to then get the worst choking cough ever...its caused by mucus dripping into the back on my throat. The chest has past the baton to my sinus's

Something I am more than a little susceptible to because the back of my throat on the right side is numb from my surgery.....result...rather than an irritation...that I swallow, I end up choking as mucus gets down into my windpipe where the not so numb part of my neck, goes...wtf are you doing here and sends me into a mega coughing fit.


Arrghh...fortunately I have a few antihistamine pills in the house, I need to go get more...but they dry up the drip, giving a bit of a relief.. But I now find myself, listless from lack of sleep, sore in the throat, and starting an ear infection....woop do bloody doo.


its nearly 2months since I caught the 1st cold that started all this off, I really am tired of it, some people think its funny that I post the fact I get a cold, but it tends to lead to 2-3 months of being very unwell and it is tiring in the extreme.
I'm not a hypochondriac, in fact I'm whatever the opposite of that is, I detest being sick, but I am at a loss to understand why this keeps hitting me like this 1 or 2 times a year now...is it age?

I'm hoping this final phase will see me back to full health, though having been exposed to 300 germ ridden new students this last week...I'm not taking too many bets on that.




Ahthankyew

Refreshed and ready

Must be the nice French air, but I'm feeling so much more relaxed and ready to start the working year than I was at the end of our normal summer hols.

A wonderful week in the middle of nowhere in the company of the masterful Mr Trotter at Creative Vacances, and many friends mostly old, and some new, getting ready for what was probably the worst gig I've ever played, but such fun and pleasure in doing so..

We had 4 days of rehearsal in small groups, 3.5days  of which were spent doing 1 particular persons song...giving us precious little time to get the 2 songs I was performing just right...but despite forgotten chords and no idea how to end..we muddled though with smiles of our faces. The audience didn't seem to mind...or were stunned. Not sure which.

There's something deeply calming about being around people whose sole aim is to share your own obsession and to get better at it.

The week of course was a workshop/rehearsal under the tutelage of Mr Eddie Martin, an extremely accomplished blues performer who showed us a lot of useful tips and tricks, which I might be able to get into a performance one day. I'm not really into slide..but I really liked the sound he was making and might put some 16's on my tele one day to see how it sounds.
I look forward to watching his video, which he was hawking with unashamed glee after the event.

Always one to support good music I coughed up my sole 20euros spending cash for the DVD...which I had planned to buy a few drinks with in the pub...which turned out to sell only its own beer, not even coke...leaving me drinkless... a state very kindly resolved by Tony, the only newbie on the course, who shared a few G&T's with me in far more civilised fashion. Thanks Tony, I needed that.

It was lovely though to see Chris again and the old faces from past courses gathered for this performance event, and memories of past holidays with them with Chris and the lovely Jenny were never far away.
Its a shame these things don't always fall into my normal summer holiday window, I am really grateful my bosses allowed me to get away before the actual student teaching weeks. I think it has prepared me much better for the change in our work processes,.

So as I say, feeling calm, relaxed and ready....it was a wonderful week, aside from the absolute hell of the mosquitoes who found an inexhaustible buffet in me , and of course the tail end of the cold which became a cough (fortunately they have decent cough meds in France). The drive back was also mad....my sat nav decided it wanted to go on a tour of Paris and Waterloo....for no reason I can imagine....it made the trip back far longer nearly 11hours. And I HATE driving anywhere near Paris.

Probably won't be able to make it for another couple of years, but I will be back.... oh yes...I will...and I'm still fat...as the photo shows....and thats after losing 10kg....back on the diet...70kg by Xmas or no turkey for you.

Ahthankyew