hmm adjustments needed

I know I have to persevere with the new teeth but really I am having some major issues, giving me a lot of jaw pain, and impacting on my bite.. Going to have to go back for a few twiddles.


Ahthankyew

I have a smile

well more accurately I have new false teeth....odd....but it is nice not to see the gap when I'm talking/singing... I just hope they don't go flying out in the middle of a spirited argument or song.

I'm also lisping a bit as my tongue gets used to less space, but I'll take the lisp over the whistle I've been having since the last dentist visit took out an incisor.

Still they seem to fit, pretty well, so far, a little wobbly but I got a couple of complementary tubes of fixodent to take me on my geriatric path.


sigh....false teeth....oh well.

Ahthankyew

Very tired of people.

More specifically people on the internet. Its staggering how people become entrenched and sit in echo chambers to avoid their own cognative dissonance.

There's lots of good reasons to vote for or against a party, but rather than actually examine them they vote with their tribes. But not just that, conspiracy theories, false beliefs and lies are so easy to spread its almost painful to watch. When just once person posts a nonsense link to a psuedoscience website and gets another person to agree, the lie is spread...anti vaxxers are born, flat earthers find others who are as stupid as they are and the band wagon rolls.

A truely great example is the current crucificixon of Prince Andrew... who is clearly guilty of...everything, becuase he was called Randy Andy, and was friends with a paedo.

Well sorry but, regardless of the mans moral standards, or lack of them, or feelings for his old friend, there is 0 proof he has done anything wrong apart from hang out with another multi-millionaire friend, living a multi-millionaire lifestyle. But once that bandwagon starts the utterly crazy links like being called Randy, like being in New York, like being at a party getting photographed......its fucked up...but the harm is done. Guilty by association is all the proof people need.

Same for politics, The whole Corbyn is an anti semite is blatently a smear campaign, because of his frequent condemnation of Israel, which allows a lot of right wing groups to push that bandwagon on its way...taking supposedly clever people along with them to push it along with no evidence but a shit load of coincidence and association, he once had dinner with a muslim.....clearly he hates all jews and wants them dead.....I genuinely have read that and worse from some people.

And then the whole get brexit done...people are actually willing to vote for one of the most corrupt, incompetant PM's the UK has ever seen, so that he will somehow, manage to force through a legislation that will cripple the UK's economy for decades, while lining his and his mates pockets....and thats a good thing?? Cos...we're all fed up with it? Lets just book flights to Jonestown and be done with it.

fucking hell, how can people be so gullable and unwilling to actully do any kind of rational research to realise they are being manipulated, lied to, coerced....
And lets not ever get started on the Religious nutters..

The internet has truely made the world a wide open place, but sadly people only want to live in their own little corners fueling their ignorance instead of expanding their minds..

I'm really considering dropping out of all social media, I don't think I can contain my anger at some of the shite I read.


Ahthankyew

And now for the cheesy bit.

I got his ashes back now, not sure I am totally happy with the bamboo container but...

Now when I walk in and say I'm home, I'm not quite so crazy as I was yesterday.

trying to close a chapter

I went to pick up Harveys ashes today, they were in a nice bamboo stick container.. quite sweet, I don't think he was that tall :D

but very annoyingly when I tried to pay with my credit card,  they couldn't accept it. I dont' have enough cash in the account with all the bills that have gone out this month, so the credit card was the best way to pay.
Anyway they suggested I go into the town (its just outside Breda) and got to a cash machine at the Jumbo or at a Rabobank and gave me the address.

Well I put it into my sat nav, and went to the bank address, only to find no bank....hmmm ok well the Jumbo then.. I went there, but no cash machine...argghhh

How irritating.. I just wanted to bring Harvey home, give him a little space in the cabinet to himself and move on..and circumstances screw it up...

I'll try again tomorrow, I'll go to my local cash point and get cash out on the credti card to pay for it.



Ahthankyew

fuck this is hard

Been keeping myself busy to avoid thinking about things, I clean when I'm upset...I'v done a lot of cleaning. Also went to school band practice which was nice and diverting but coming home an empty silent house.....boom.
Coming into the house, and no greeting, or snoring, or mess to clean....I really can't explain how much I miss that, it comes in waves of incredible sadness. Can't quite get my head around how much the grief is hitting me. I've lost a few human friends this year, and been deeply affected by that, I just didn't expect to have the same intense feelings for Harvey, but he was indeed my dearest and closest friend and I miss him.

Harvey's ashes will be available early next week....not sure exactly what I am going to do, keep them in an urn or scatter them around my backyard tree....can't decide, there's no rush.


Ahthankyew

He's at peace, I'm in bits

No miracles, the vet agreed he was shutting down, and he'd had an amazing long run, he went to sleep in my arms with a big yawn with the 1st dose, before the second dose, then I felt his heart stop, it was very quick, very peaceful....I lost my shit in front of the vet and her nurse, who left me alone for a few mins to bawl my eyes out.  They're arranging for his cremation and I'll get his ashes back. I want to keep him around.

Can't tell you how much I will miss that little puppy, he's been a constant in my life for nearly 20 years, through all the good and bad and shit and happy times, he was always there just looking for a cuddle.

The sense of emptiness in the house is palpable...I will need a while to process this.

Last pic of my lovely old man

but this is how I will always remember him cheeky, funny, smart and incredibly loving... yes everyone says that about their dogs. But Harvey really was a one off...irreplacable.

Ahthankyew

Its time

The spark has finally gone, he's not responding much to anything now, he's given up.

I've made the appointment for tomorrow...

I might not post for a few days, unless the vet can work a miracle.


Ahthankyew

Noodles today

yup, he's had a bowlfull of supernoodles...I slipped some shredded chicken in, but he managed to leave that in the bowl...oh well... its all calories if he keeps it down.

Better get some salmon and fois gras, see if it tickles his fancy.


Ahthankyew

oh Android... you really are a pain.

Having to do some Android stuff for work, getting myself fully up to speed with VR systems and learning Unity....

Basically 3 of the things I really hate most..  VR makes me sick, Unity makes me angry, and Android leaves me comatose

Anyway, have to do it I need to expand my abilities on these platforms so I can teach them a little better and be more in tune with students who are using them

I've been working on a VR project for a couple of months in Unity, it was a slow starter as I just didn't get some of the madness of the latest versions of Unity right, but it sped up and my project is basically over now. Leading to me doing more VR research on Oculus Go and Quest

Now I must admit, as much as I hate VR, I am finding those 2 wireless units much more fun to use... but much less fun to code, Android coding is still painful and on Unity its painfully slow. But the result is somehow much nicer, smaller fun games, my personal fav and once you get projects developed using a rift with far better debugging and build speeds, its got potential for some fun games.

Maybe when I clear the decks a little of other things I'll do something on them.

Pleased to say that my ColecVision project is finally(yes finally) nearing an end. I hit a total wall on it for various reasons, and was advised to bring someone in to help, I resisted for so long but finally I had to admit I just wasn't able to get it over the line, so welcomed Allard to the now 2 man team.. well, he helped, he fixed the thing I've been stuck on for over  year....over a bloody year... in 1 week.

Fresh eyes.... I shouldn't have been so stubborn to finish it myself, but I couldn't progress and my motivation levels crashed, added to personal upsets and stress I just couldn't get my head round how to finish it.. But now, happily Allard, has come in and like a white knight fixed all the stuff I broke, or couldn't get working  so I can finally put this little bitch of a project away in the next week. That then leaves me with time me to update my SBC software in the light of the new Pi4 issues..

Then...maybe, I'll have time to write a cool VR project for myself....or maybe have a bath...a long long bath.

Ahthankyew

and another few mouthfuls

yup, it seems every few days when I think he's giving up , he eats something, no where near enough, but something, its always sometime different, sometimes ham, sometimes chicken, sausages, pork pie even...but never the same thing twice, what he eats one day, he refuses the next, its like he's on a mission to try all human food before he dies..


So far so good I guess, but I am going to go to the vet next week and take advice on how much longer we should continue with this.. he's not in pain, but he's not himself...




Ahthankyew

Think thats it now.

I think thats it now, he's not eating much at all now, even bacon isn't going down...he's losing a lot of weight having accidents right in front of me, not even trying to get to the door.

It's not good... he's not in pain, (as far as I can tell), he still wants to be snuggled and stroked, still wags his tail, and has a bit of a spring in his step when we are coming back from his very short walks.
but his eyesight is almost totally gone now, he only notices big sweeping movments and food has to be right next to him to even get him to sniff...but sadly not to eat.

I don't want to see him starve to death. a slice of salami, or a bit of bacon isn't enough, he won't even touch steak or chicken or ham now..Time to call the vet and make an appointment.

I can honestly say this is horrible.


Ahthankyew