Its taken me a very very long time to realise this... But, being nice to people, helpful, understanding, caring.....very often does not produce the same in return. Actually, thinking hard about my life, with few exceptions, it never produces the same in return.
People with agenda's are never going to change their agenda because you are nice to them. In fact your niceness may indeed push them off their agenda, or be seen to harm their agenda and then they turn on you.
Its deeply upsetting to see people you are trying to help lash out and attack you with utterly absurd comments or actions. (yes we're talking a very very few students).
Its almost part of the job these days which is upsetting. Times are changing and now we have to be careful not to hurt peoples feelings which in turn removes or at least narrows the range of criticism you can give to people.. Nothing resonates more loudly than a failing student, who hasn't actually done any work, complaining that the work is confusing or too hard, or... they just don't feel they can handle it???...Its as if they somehow decided that complaning is even more effective than doing.
Its almost part of the job these days which is upsetting. Times are changing and now we have to be careful not to hurt peoples feelings which in turn removes or at least narrows the range of criticism you can give to people.. Nothing resonates more loudly than a failing student, who hasn't actually done any work, complaining that the work is confusing or too hard, or... they just don't feel they can handle it???...Its as if they somehow decided that complaning is even more effective than doing.
Get a fucking grip.
Its not, it never will be, doing the work, well, is how you progress in life. Listening to teachers telling you you're not doing well isn't an insult you need to get butt hurt about, its advice to try harder, or in some cases, reconsider... An honest teacher caring that you don't go down a path of clear failure should be something to respect...It isn't it really isn't, and thats very sad..
In the last couple of years, I've had incidents where such advice has resulted in massive and very public melt downs from "vicitmised", students, complaining of "toxic" behavious and poor education. Now victimised means, asking where's the work more than once a week, and toxic means, if you don't stop doing that, I'll have to remove you from the group..... wow... wait till they get to the real world eh!
Only a couple, I must state clearly, out of hundreds, but it only takes 1 or 2 to throw chum in the water to have the sharks circling. The adage there is no smoke without fire, isn't helped by the fact that Im well known as a grumpy old man... but also a cuddly fat bear.... you get to choose which, simply by trying to do your best.
I remind you dear reader... we are currently ranked amongst the very best schools in the world at what we do...so... clearly we're doing it wrong becuase students who don't want to follow the course we set up, feel a need to vent and have their clearly well thought out professional and seasoned opinions heard and immediately acted on....immediately... or else.
I need to re-evaluate how I deal with students now, even though this is a tiny tiny minority of students who get this agitated, its a noisy group who like to be heard.. Of course these complaints have been dismissed they have no merit whatsoever, quite rightly, but even so, the sense of sadness I feel that this is what teaching is bcoming. Student relationships are becoming a minefield of hurt feelings and excuses for not working rather than the driven success it used to be.
In part this is due to covid, the lockdown changed a lot of things... so mabye it will be better in a year or so, but also... have to say, some if it is due to students just not being as driven as they were...there's a serious change in the students now, compared to 10, even 5 years ago..
I'll have to detatch my personal feelings and hopes in students a bit more..
In part this is due to covid, the lockdown changed a lot of things... so mabye it will be better in a year or so, but also... have to say, some if it is due to students just not being as driven as they were...there's a serious change in the students now, compared to 10, even 5 years ago..
I'll have to detatch my personal feelings and hopes in students a bit more..
Basically no more Mr Nice guy from now on, Im not interested in having my care and attention in their progress thrown back at me.
Retirment is now starting to look all the sweeter... but still 10-12 years away... but happy to start planning.
I better point out, for the sake of any legal issues (even having to say this makes me angry) that these opinions are my own....as is everything I ever post on this blog... Its just stuff for my family to read.
Retirment is now starting to look all the sweeter... but still 10-12 years away... but happy to start planning.
I better point out, for the sake of any legal issues (even having to say this makes me angry) that these opinions are my own....as is everything I ever post on this blog... Its just stuff for my family to read.
