The Honeymoon is over.

This is something I have noticed more strongly as I've been a bit ill with the vertigo and limited in my moving around. I can't drive too much, Jirawan does that for now, and I certainly can't ride my bike, so I content myself with a bit of coding in my office and pottering around the house. I'd love to do a bit more cooking but we don't really have the facilities here in the rental, so I'm looking forward to having a proper kitchen in a few months.

The days highlight is my trip to the house site to record my videos and take my 1 frame per day pic. I watch a bit of Western TV on Netflix or whatever and I'm quite content with what has become a fairly uneventful day.

This is fine, and in fact its more than fine its totally normal.. I'm no longer "impressed" by Thailand, its all just very normal and ordinary. A trip to town isn't filled with wonder, I know what to expect, I  know, most of the time, where we are going and what we will see. I kinda know most of the good food things to buy, and avoid,  and I'm kinda bored with temples....well only the ones' I've seen already seen.

This is normal, it comes to everyone after a while when you move to a new place. I felt exactly the same when I moved to Breda, and Manchester, years ago. A sense of confusion and wonder at the new sights, smells, people you suddenly find around you.

Inititally your brain is scanning everything, making maps, plotting where you are and how to get home, and building an internal set of rules of where to go, how to get there, what to expect.

But that initial phase, the honeymoon, is over, I'm content, and I'm happy with where I am.. I don't seek the excitment of a new market, or a new shopping mall.. I just enjoy the calm of knowing the market is there if I need it, and the malls are a bit too expensive for most things, find a local shop instead... familiarity has bred both contempt and confidence in living in Chiang Mai.

And this is often the point where a lot of ex pats, up-sticks and run... they miss that excitment of new things to learn, new places to go....They don't want the honeymoon to be over, they crave more and decide Chiang  Mai, or Bangkok, or Pattaya isn't of interest to them.

I have seen a LOT of videos of expats falling out of love with Thailand..due to the end of the honeymoon. Their reasons for moving on are so timid, I wonder why they even chose Thailand in the 1st place. Too hot, too expensive, too quiet, too noisy, too hard to make money (duh!), too whatever, its an excuse.

Not me.. I'm loving it even more, the familiarity of  new things I now find comforting, learning from mistakes, or poor assumption is becoming easier to handle, the ease of just having a nice quiet day is exactly what I craved, the total and utter lack of care for earning money or responsibility was exactly what I craved... and its awesome.

The house construct is ongoing, and we can't wait to make the move, Jirawan wants me to be a bit more social and also keep some sensible hours (I tend to tinker on the computer till the wee small hours) and I think she's right, but for now, I just want to unwind all the tension and western BS out of me, and soak up the good stuff here... Weather despite the rain, food, friendliness, simplicity of getting things done....all awesome.

I'm home.. the honeymoon is over and the marriage is strong and growing.

Ahthankyew

Is it getting better, or do you feel the same?

yeah it is getting better, the vertigo has been a bit persistent and there are still certain head positions that trigger it, especially lying down in bed, if I turn too quick.  But it is reducing, and today after my 4th visit to the clinic, the doctor was very pleased to see a marked improvment, despite my slight relapse last week.

So another appointment in 2 weeks, with instructions to call if I have a relapse or if I want to cancel.

Also.... I can give a bit more of a report on the "cure" for my 3,2, you're going to shit yourself, 1, issue.

Fasting in the daytime is definitely working, not 100%,  there are still some days where I get the 3, 2, 1 go signals, but overall, as long as I don't eat in the daytime I can comfortably travel around a bit, and should I need to go, I get a bit more time to go..so its more of a t-minus 4 minute countdown now, which means I can duck into a mall or cafe toilet.

So if the vertigo and the urgent bowel issues get resolved soon I might be able to venture out into the town a bit more than I/we currently do... well as long as its not raining.

Ahthankyew

This is not...an improvment.

The Vertigo.... still got it

Overall its been fairly managable, unpleasant at times, but mostly confined to periods where I was lying in bed, and  turning on one side or another... occasionally leaning sideways to look inside the fridge... 

But generally it wasn't impacting much on my day, but for safety and an abundance of caution, I decided not to drive or ride the bike. A dizzy spell while travelling could be quite nasty.

Yesterday we went for our 3rd check with the doctor and she again did a series of positional placements designed to move the crystals in my ear into safer spots... but I think she made it worse. Much much worse.

The actual head tilt this time produced, the...worst...dizzy..falling into a cavern... experience ever... just monumental dizzy... apparently she'd never seen my eyes bounce around as fast to date... The vertigo attack causes Nystagmus to occur and boy did it occur.. It was so ovewhelming that it took nearly a minute to pass rather than the normal 10-15 secs,  and she decided only to do 1 cycle of positions.

I assumed that I'd get the usual after effect, a little ikky feely for a few mins, then basically normal but not cured... not so....not so at all.

Ok, so she wants be back in 5 days... and didn't give me any more Serc 24 meds to control the dizzyness... apparently they just make me happy (never been so bloody miserable in fact) So on the surface this seemed positive.... but I noticed as I was walking to the car, that I was having trouble keeping a straight line...actually quite a lot of trouble.

And when we got moving in the car, I also noticed that I felt incredibly motion sick the whole trip, so much so that half way I asked Jirawan to stop and we'd go get some noodles, just to give my head a break.

Now normally after a quite bad dizzy spell, in bed for example when I get up I feel a bit ugg for an hour or so, then feel fine as long as I avoid another dizzy spell.. but yesterday... the whole fucking day... I was unable to walk around, look around the house, or just basically engage with the physical reality of life... I felt like utter shit the whole day... and spent most if it in a recliner chair keeping my head as still as possible, it was genuinly awful.

Today I've been up about an hour... I don't feel quite as shit, but I am still experiencing the dizzy when I look around or try to walk...I'm a drunk without the benefits.... and I don't like it.

Jirawan is going to go to the pharmacy and get more Serc 24, to see if it helps, if so I will point this out to the doc... but I'm really struggling with this.  2 weeks so far... I've seen online reports it can go in a few days or a few months... it better get tae fuck a bit quicker than that.

Ahthankyew

Update... I got some more Betahistine Dihydrochloride which is basically serc 24 and... about 4 hours later started to feel human again... symptroms have reduced considerably... I will discuss with the doctor on Tuesday.

Update 2 I postponed my appointment as I do feel considerably better, with almost...almost..no vertigo for 2 days on the trot.. I dunno however if this is due the the Serc masking the condition... so I've decided to wait a few more days this week, then tail off the Serc, and see if symptoms return... if so, back to the doctors... if not... cured :D

Update 3 We needed to get our car AC fixed so went to a garage and they said it would take about an hour to drain and refill the coolant and a new part was needed.. ok so we decided to look around the area in Saraphi and noticed a massage place across from the garage, so Jirawan wanted a massage, I don't really like full massage, but a nice foot massage sounded good....since Jirawan was going to take longer and also asked for an extra 30 mins, I opted to add a shoulder head and back massage..........that was a mistake.
As it involved me moving up and down a bit and....boom vertigo... big time...which left me spinning for several hours after...and some of the day after...  infact this was on Thursday, its now Saturday and I still feel it... So we will call the doc on Monday and make another appointment for some controlled tortudre.

Glen Hansard died.

Last week, he passed away, apparently crashing on his motorbike near Dublin,  and I've been surprised by just how much this as impacted on me. 

I truely love this mans music.

I don't have all his albums but I have quite a few, and many especially the Swell Season, Strict Joy, are pretty much on every play list I have.  

I watched so many of his live performances on Youtube, often just him and his beat up guitars, playing and singing with more emotion and fire than anyone I ever saw. I wish I'd got to see him live, but he never played anywhere near where I was...pity.

I sang his songs with bands, and more often by myself, poorly but with feeling, and really felt he was one of the most gifted and talented songwriters and performers alive. His songs really get into your soul if you want to be poetic, there was just something about them, love, loss, happiness, anger, sadness, remorse, guilt, redemption,  he tickled every heart string with poetic words and that amazing voice and passion he put into every one.

And now he's gone, the sense of loss that his fans are feeling is deep.

I watched his wake and funeral live on Youtube and could see the amount of love and sense of loss that his passing has caused, I've shed a few tears watching his loved ones and his fans express how much they will miss him..

I will miss him too.

Far too soon. RIP.

Ahthankyew