Had me a bit scared there.

Mum's unwell, she was taken to hossie via ambulance, with a high fever and breathing issues... not good for an 83yo, who's not done any Marathons this year that I know of.

For a few hours we were very worried, but my brother Colin sent us some info that she was being treated and was quite poorly.

Anyway long story short... after a worrying night, Colin reported that she was still poorly, sufferring from pneumonia, but was feeling a bit better. As the day progressed the reports demonstrated she was getting a bit better. Until finally Colin reported that she was "weak but able to complain".

At that point I know she was going to be ok, as long as she's got things to complain about she will be unbeatable.

She's still in hossie, best place for her, but Im sure she will find lots to complain about so we're happy.

phew.. Love you mum, get well soon and take care of yourself.

Ahthankyew

ok, so that wasn't my best idea!

Got a bit peckish last night as I was watching tv, having a nice rum, (not a session just a taste) and decided to look in the fridge.. We've not got much in, having blown a lot of cash on new glasses for both of us last week we put off the fortnightly shop.. but there was some nice blackpudding, we'd picked up at the last shop.. and some frozen pita bread..

Time to do a Gordon Ramsey meals in 5 mins from nothing, and I was soon munching on a nice Black Pudding pitta...

All good, until about 4am when my stomach,  decided I had to wake up urgently. Not really the most unusual request these days, if its not having to pee at 5am due to having to drink a lot to keep my internals clean, its having to poo becuase of my diverticulosus, which messes your bowel habits up in awful ways.

This however was different.. rennies didn't calm it, and while sitting on the loo it was clear I was going to be there a little while as I started to do the cold sweat thing...

Did I mention that it was a fortnight since we last went shopping... ermm yeah, well that might have been a little too long to wait to eat the Black Pudding... sure enough it decided it wanted to leave, promptly, and I found myself doing the toilet call for Huey and the twist for the squits for a few turns. Managed to keep them in sequience rather than simultaniously...lucky...

ugg...fortunatly it cleared out after 3 or 4 yawns, and similar brown soda streams..... and I went back to bed..

Today I've been enjoying Jirawans lovely rice soup, which is basically the Thai equivilent of  jewish chicken soup to make me feel a bit better..

maybe it was the rum........ oh...

Ahthankyew

Death... and taxes

Recently I've heard of a lot of old collegues and some family passing on, it seems like every week someone I knew or know of, or a movie/pop star I liked as a kid has popped off.  Its time to check the obits to see if I've kicked it.

And yeah... it has me contemplating my time, which is probably on the horizon.. Since my youngest brother passed on a few years ago from a heart condition it just makes it clear that any moment now your time is up..Even if you are fairly fit and healthy, which I'm not.

I'm not viewing this with any kind of dread or fear, just a realisation that the time I have left is far less than the time I've had so far.

Added to that a range of physical ailments which are starting to get in the way of everyday life and you start to realise the road ahead is getting a bit bumpy, and I'm very much over the top of the hill getting ready for that last big bumpy dip on the rickety rollercoaster of life.

I'm making some changes, financially, physically Im still fucked :D, but Im going to be pretty ok when I retire in 7 years, and we're putting money into our pension pots as much as legal limits allow. We won't be rich but we certanly won't be British OAP pensioner poor.

7 years... yup, that and a few months, is all the official legal time I can work here in NL before I get the boot into the retirement home... Though I can probably get a few years more if I'm fit..I'm pretty sure I won't try to extend that time 

I'd much rather retire a little earlier but I don't see that as being possible, so we'll aim for that 67 and 3 months retirement age.

The plan is simple, retire to Thailand, sun, cheap prices, easy to buy houses from the proceeds of selling here, and excellent medical care for when things are less easy.

Enjoy the last of the summer wine somewhere interesting fun and exciting,  that time in our twilight,  needs to be used well, if I get 15-20 good retirement years I'll have done well..

oh taxes... yeah nothing much to say about that... quite happy to pay taxes here in NL, they are high but you clearly see the benefit of them in the roads/streets and so on.... Thailand has lower taxes, but no idea if my pension is taxed at source or at desination, I'll check that out.

We're going to be making another trip to Thailand in Oct, to scout for nice places, we're still too far off the time to be buying but making enquires abut things and ensuring all is in place is fun.

edit, just 2 days ago, I heard of another collegue and friend who passed away quite suddenly, his wife would like us to not put details on Social media so I won't say too much.. But a lovely warm hearted man, just 51...there's no way to rationalise such a loss. 

Ahthankyew

Health Scam's

A lot of scams trigger me into rages... this is a problem I think I can control most of the time since I seldom personally get dragged into them. But there's a rise in scams and scam acceptance on social media that is worrying.

A few obvious ones are denial of science like flat earth, anti vax and space denial... this is soooo big a cult I just find myself slack jawed in awe about how stupid it is. But as crazy as it sounds, people join in and NASA is evil etc... even a couple of seconds of critical thinking would make it clear thats a no..

But there's one thing that just utterly pisses me off, health scams... fake cancer cures, being among the worst, recently there's been a rise in cures for diabetes,  and anti viral concoctions, even some groups encouraging people to contract HIV to live longer......wtaf??

Pure unadultarated snake oil, praying on the sick and dying... These sellers and scammers and knownothings,  need to be strung up in public and very slowly left to die in agony, like many of the people they prey on who deserve a better end.

Slightly less horrible are the ones who target the desperate and weak, like us fatties and those who want to look better..any plastic surgeon who thinks its ok to give someone fish lips, or make them look like Barbie or Ken is insane and needs to be struck off.

Further down the list is the health and diet quacks... sadly these target people like me, overweight, unfit and kinda wanting to be better but not got the will power to do it... Maybe a pill will do it?

But it won't of course, but there's no end of people trying to shift products to convince us they have the answer... Whats also upsetting is almost all of these are sold by MLM scams, which people fall into and start to believe the cultish propoganda of success they are fed.. It's sad to see people I know get wrapped up in nonsense like that. Also sad to see them lash out in defence of perceived attacks when you try to bring them to reality... There's nothing you can do, but wait till they realise they are victims as well.

Scams are horrible, I hate them all..Keep a cynical head on, if something is too good to be true...it is... there's no ifs or buts... it is... walk away, maybe offer a helping hand, but know that it will be slapped away if they are too far gone.

Ahthankyew

I don't blog so much

I've noticed this, more and more I post my little tidbits of insight into my personal life on Facebook, that at least keeps mum upto date, but it does kinda mean sprog isn't in the loop, she has no facebook account, or indeed much of a social media presence at all.

I think thats pretty amazing really, given how utterly absurd most of social media is..Pretty much all I see now on there are idiots moaning about soap opera's a....oops sorry mum.

But really it is getting pretty bad, I'm seriously considering dumping it...aside from some acces to publicise my game projects.

Its like a dark hole you fall into and never look up, just noticing all the really dumb shit people think about things... 

I always used to think the internet woukld make people more aware of the world and allow those who don't get out much to get insight into how the world works, but nope, it really isn't happening. The internet instead has allowed dumb fucks to gather together and proudly display and encourage others in their stupidity.

No amount of facts, experience, evidence, pleading, demonstrating etc,  can persuade a stupid person they are wrong when they have at least one other stupid person agreeing with them.

Add to that the spread of hate and fear from frankly quite evil people and it just makes the world seem a very depressing place.

This is why we have such incredible rises in conspiracy theories and and a result... dumb as fuck asshole politicians ruling us..

Im getting to really despair about the world and where its going... and the main driving forces of that seem to be reality TV and Social Media...Catering to the lowest base needs ot people will never produce anything of merit, allowing education to be neglected over feelings, letting people speak falsehoods as truth without challenge... its out of hand.

So yeah... considering dropping out... getting back to the much more happy reality that I have in my life now with Jirawan and planning for a hopefully comfortable retirement in 7 years or so (wait....only 7 years... how did I get to be so old,...)

So...that was depressing... I'll try to be more cheerful next time

Ahthankyew

Watch out George, my time is coming.

Is George Cloony still the sexiest man alive? I know for quite a while he was/is, due in no small part to his greyin salt and pepper hair colour... and maybe some chisled good looks, but I'm sticking with the hair.

Well move over, cos my salt n pepper look is well and truly on the way.. from having a few flecks of easy to hide grey I'm most certinly joining the sexiest men alive club. Every second hair it seems has decided grey is thw way to be... So looking quite dashing now... for a while at least.

sigh... also this means another step towards old age... Im wondering how long before I'm totally grey?

Ahthankyew

Life is good but stil fat

Been a while, how's things? good?

Mum's finally moved to her new apartment, so hoping to see her soon, we got a 6 month visa from the UK so Jirawan and I can travel together, and then see what can be done to extend that. We'll see mum and sprogs in April. Looking forward to that.

Diet is still honestly ongoing, a few minor lapses, but very much focused on less eating, but having very little effect on weight, only a few kilos dropped...  I guess when things get warmer and I can come to work on my bike (not the 1100c, the pedal) I might start to drop a bit more..

I've also decided to take some steps to reduce some of my work load.. As the Y1 lead I had a lot of minor but time consuming tasks, and some stress that came with them, but taking stock of things I decided to step back from it.. At the end of the block I can go back to being the grumpy old teacher in the corner.... and already Im happy about that... Less stess means more time to have fun at home so quite enjoying the prospect of that.

Nothng much else to report, Dutch weather is proving to be bizzare but in a few more weeks we should start to see more sun and it'll be time to get the Shadow out from under the covers for some trips.

Ahthankyew

Not a new year resolution, but.....

Again my weight is out of control, 105.8kg

shit

Its really hard to stop eating when Jirawan makes such lovely food, and tends to stock the fridge with tasty things... but no... I am on another diet, 20th time is the charm.

Ahthankyew

A perfect storm

Aside from spending time with Jirawan, and having her bring me to tears of laughter, or joy with just being herself,  the thing I love most about her is her insane desire to do her own stuff.. :D

She's addicted to Thai soaps, and any chance she gets she watches them on her phone or streamed to the TV.. which is fine, I am addicted to coding... So when we're not being all gooey eyed over each other, she gets to watch soaps and I go and do coding..

Thats the very definition of a perfect marriage 2 people doing what they want together and 2 people doing what they want individually.

God I love that woman. Where the hell was she 30years ago? 

Ahthankyew

Its a waste of time innit?

Social media I mean.

More and more I'm finding it to be nothing but a chore to look at.. I like the keeping in touch with people and the ability to keep friends together despite distance, but there are other more horrible aspects to it.

The fake news, the disinformation, the rise of the Dunning-Kruger experts and the dumbing down of expectation for lifestyle choices...

I mean, flat earth, mudflooders, Moon Landing deniers, gravity deniers etc

Its absurd, but socal media gives these loons a platform and sure enough others go, shiiit he's got a point I ain't never been to the moon so no one else can have duh I'm going to back this wise person he know things me no no.

It wouldn't be too bad if you could just tell them, no, thats not right, but you can't. People who are wrong, but are convinced they are right, have the backing of all their back slapping buddies to tell them how right they are, even though they are wrong, and they are wrong and their back slapping buddies tell them they are right... the circular back slapping in the echo chamber of stupid thought  expands, no matter what any history/science/medical text book might say 
Its mental and society will suffer for this rise of the "here's what I think it is" expert!

I saw this 10 years ago when my ex was and probably still is, majorly into homeopathy, the worlds dumbest form of alternative "medicine" but could she be told.. nope. I bit my tongue so many times with her, ahh the dumb shit she used to come out with but never face the fact it was utter bollox.

We're seeing it everywhere on so many subjects, know alls, and gold opinions from brainless celebs dictate our progress.... Lets not even start on Brexit.

I can see me going into my old age seeing a generation of utter morons taking power in 20 years, and suggesting that everything we learned was propaganda from deep state anti Trump experts... Its depressing

Ahthankyew

Old and smelly

Oh boy

59

59 years old today and I feel it, I really do...fat, old, in pain and grumpy, but happy when Im around Jirawan.

Last year of middle age, then old age... I'm genuinly starting to look forward to retirement, But stil 8 years away, maybe 11.  I want to find a nice place somewhere with no bills and no stress and just sit on a veranda sipping on rum then coding in the evenings before watching movies with J and snuggling up.

So much for conquering the world.....age sucks.

Ahthankyew

Ding Dong merrily on...

December already, getting chilly outside, and dark, quite a contrast to how we started November in Thailand.

Still need to sort out visa for Jirawan to travel so we can go see/meet mum, who's not been in the best of health recently...going to try to sort that next week, there's a chap in town who specialises in visa's since our efforts to date have been stumped by delays and stupidity.

Nothing major to report, healthwise Im still having issues with the diverticulosus but learning to live with it, thanks to loperamide :D. Also a spot of foot pain which troubled me in Thailand and isn't really getting better despite buying some insoles designed to help with planter fasciatus (sp) but seems I can go to a physio and have a masochist make me scream to help it heal..... can't wait.

Roll on Christmas, even if I cant get Jirawan over, I'll pop over to blighty to see mum and the weans. I'll start making plans.

Ahthankyew

Honey mooooon

Yes, I am on honeymoon, with my wonderful wife, of 2 years... we were not able to get away during the whole covid thing so we took the chance to extend my autumn holiday and spend some time in Thailand 

In part to spend time together but also for her to catch up with friends and family and show me off as the eye candy I am...stop sniggering....By Thai standards, Im quite a catch.  And boy has she been catching up with her friends, she's missed them and they missed her. Its good that she wants to show me off to friends.. I plan to do the same when I finally get the chance to take her to the UK,  uk visa's not withstanding...

Thailand is wonderufl, just wonderful, its so varied and different in the north and south, and Bangkok is crazy, but for sure this is a place we will probably find ourselves living out our old age. Time to start making plans about where, what and how we retire. Its a country of contrast, modern in parts, rural and  backward in others  but very very wonderful.

So many new things to do and try while here, but I have resited eating insects.

The only thing I don't plan to do again ever, is ride a scooter in a city traffic system... I have never been scared on a bike before,...this was the 1st and last time I ever try that..

Anyway.. one more day, we'll spend being tourists in Bangkok and doing a bit of shopping, my collegues at work have been good to cover for me while I've been sunning myself here, so I need to find incredibly cheap but meaningful gifts for them :D

Ahthankyew

when ineptitude becomes normal, you get uk.gov

I have to say, 2 times now we've tried to work with the UK visa system to get a visa for Jirawan to come with me to the UK, 1st time we had to cancel due to delays, this time we had to cancel....due to even longer delays...

Its absurd, that they charge a small fortune for a visa, don't make the process even remotely easy, insist on making you drive to Amsterdam to use some cheap shoddy service company who charge you 15 euros to drop an A4 sheet into a 1 second scanner, per sheet mind you..And then insist that you have no right to a prompt service... not that 3 weeks is prompt.

While you wait you have to surrender your passport, which means no travel... normally not a big issue after all we are not the jetsetters we plan to be when we retire, but we do have a trip planned for the end of this month which needs a passport, so you'd think applying in June would have the whole thing sorted.

Nope, no appointments available till August, then wait for the UK dept to process the visa, which after 8, almost 9 weeks was still no closer to being done.. Then a flurry of standard reply emails (which you have to pay to open a dialogue), and every response of, no thats not what I asked, gets a the same standard cut and paste... ffs

We eventually had to request they cancel it, via the same standard cut and paste replies, which eventually had 1 line added that said, they were processing our cancellation..

And the next day, our passport is waiting for us in Amsterdam, in that same shabby service centre... So we have to drive up there this moring, hoping that maybe, just maybe rather than a cancellation, it was in fact the visa... but no.. no visa, no refusal of a visa, just the passport, returned as asked... so they can do some things quick

We're pissed as fuck about this shambolic system.. Ignoring the very clear fact that a spouse should be able to travel freely with their british partner to the UK, that passport sat in a pile for 8 weeks at least. The dept can't provide the service its that simple, they don't even say until you submit how long the delay is likely to be, its supposed to take 3 weeks, but maybe 5, worst case 8... but you only hear once you've submitted it might be 12... we couldn't wait 12, we had to get our passport back so we can travel in 2 weeks...

hundreds of euro's tossed into the wind for nothing, and an unrepentant uk.gov apologising for the "frustrating:" delay but please wait.

tossers, utter utter tossers. Thai's welcome british passport holders into their country, I don't need a visa to go visit Jirawans family, but the UK will drown us in red tape and delays rather than let my wife in to meet my family... I'm seething.

Ahthankyew

So that was a good thing then?

I had 4 polyps removed during my colonosopy, and it turns out 2 of them were the nasty pre-cancer types... so... yeah... good... 

Had I not had this test caused by my unwelcome attack of divericulitis, I would have been quite unlikely to have gone for a colonoscopy and within a few years would be dead.

Basically...dead .

So.. yeah... funny eh! The nasty attack of constipation that caused me to go to hozzie basically saved my life.

I have to go back for checks every 5 years to snip any new ones, but thats fine, I will be happy to do that.

phew

Ahthankyew

97kg even more shit

My final weight before the procedure was 97Kg, after a long long night of running to the loo every 30-45 mins I basically emptied out totally.

The procedure was fine, I felt nothing at all, I slept through it mostly, but they did remove 4 polyps, which is a good thing as it will prevent future cancers forming.. However they warned me there might be a little blood and pain when the painkillers wore off.

The wore off.... they lied... it wasn't a little, it was quite severe, but hey ho, its only for a few days.

I have a phone appointment booked on the 26th to discuss the results and move on to managment of my diverticulosos...which will mostly revolved around continuing to lose some of that weight which I hastily put back on with a massive steak and tatties when I'd got home and snoozed for a bit.

Ahthankyew

98.4kg, I was so full of shit!

4 days of fasting, (only 3 bowls of soup) and now on the meds to shit for the UK in the world diarrhea champiopnships, before tomorrows camera up the bum fun.

Its not fat of course, its litterlly my bowels emptying out, so as soon as I start eating again this will slide back up, but I'll try to maintain a lower intake to keep the drop going.

Even so, being under 100kg for the 1st time in several years is a nice boost to the confidence..Though I do feel a bit wrecked from the meds waking me up at 7am for a Jackson Pollock event.

I'm dreaming of sausage and mash though, soon as I'm able.

Ahthankyew

And the Fast continues

Im hungry

thats what happens when you fast...

And also you lose weight, but I'm not even remotely convinced I've lost any body mass yet, just emptying out my bowls, but thats enoiugh for 2 kilos.

Hovering on the 100.2 mark this morning, probably going to break it tomorrow.

Ahthankyew

The Fast begins

I have my colonoscopy on Monday, so have had to switch to a strict low fibre/content diet ending with liquid only on Sunday.

That'll drop me under 100 fucking kilos.... bahhh

Anyway no biggie, just got to stop eating now, drink water when hungry and flush my system clean so the nice doctors can give me some happy meds before sticking cameras up my ass....

At least I hope they are happy meds....

Ahthankyew

hang on... still not under 100?

No, despite being mega careful with my intake and trying my best to excercise more (I walked all over Paris for 4 days... to the point of wearing out my comfy shoes)
Im still over 100kg... hmm ok well, we're home from our holidays and that means I can reduce my use of immodium which might be the cause, after all if it goes in and its not going out... it has to add something.

The immodium is needed due to the diverticulosis, it basically gives me 2 minute warnings of go to the toilet NOW, which isn't terribly practical when you're out and about, so immodium offers a degree of control.. With a downside that you ermm fill up, and it can take a few days to empty out.

The colonoscopy is set for the 19th Sept... and I'll have to starve myself for a few days before that, so for sure the weight will drop, and whatever is stuck inside will almost certainly find its way out when I have to take the nuclear waste clear out juice before hand.

Anyway... was a nice trip to France, what may turn out to be our last gig with Rose as she's now confirmed her intention to move to France with her SO and start a new life there raising dairy cattle and running a music holiday operation.. We wish her all the best, but also we're sad that the 1st iteration of FBR has come to an end... just as we were getting good at it :D

We'll try to arrange one final farewell gig soon, and also start looking for a new singer... no easy task I have to say, FBR isn't just a singer and 2 guitar players, its 3 friends enjoying what we do.. it will take time to find that connection again, but we will try.

hmm I feel an urgent need coming on... will catch up later if I survive.

Ahthankyew