And I have the house to myself again. Which is actually good.

So for the last year or so I have had a house guest, my failed attempt to start a relationship with Benta resulted in a situation where for better or worse she had to stay here to complete her Masters degree.

I felt it was up to me to allow her to do that and let her stay in my spare room and allowing her some funding to be able to commute and socialise while she was here...in short, I was paying for her to live here...

It wasn't easy, in fact it was at times quite a struggle, but I did feel it was the right and honest thing to do, since I had brought her here, leaving her life in Kenya behind. I had a sense of responsibility and duty of care. Even though many people said it was crazy, I felt it was the right thing to do.

But, I only agreed to a year... and once that year was over, I was expecting her to make plans to move on, or return to Kenya, her preferred option.

She made no plans, and indeed as a result of failing one course had to do a resit... the problem is she was expecting me to fund that, and to fund her continued stay. That wasn't something I was willing to do, but she avoided that issue for almost 9 months until it was raised and made clear.
Added to that she made arrangments with her university to delay her submissions and internship, not exactly an unusal occurance, but that delay or costs, was not discussed with me.. it was assumed I would "continue to help"!

Over the last 9 months or so, since our attempt at a relationship fizzled out, Benta grew more and more distant, staying in her room, or going out with friends, often staying overnight.. as such communication ceased, and what there was, was mostly via whatsapp, or with passing remarks.. I got a growing sense of resentment from her that was both rude and frankly ungrateful, her selfishness grew as she started to cook and eat her own meals, insisting I buy produce I wouldn't normally get... but she had to eat so I did..

There were several straws, but a few final ones where she demonstrated a total disregard for what was being done for her and a massive sense of entitlement and hate for me, to ignore the simple thigns that I had done for her, that made it clear that my honest care and concern for her was wasted.
There was simply no appreciation for what I had done for her and 6 weeks ago I asked her to leave at the pre agreed time of July 12. A few on line tantrums (blocking communication when she didn't like the answers) followed, but I stuck to my point, She had to leave at the end of her term and make her own way from then on.

As you might expect, she left it late, and a week before the deadline she still argued that she had no where to go, and didn't want to deal with that, and school...

At this point though, I just don't care...my care has been used and abused against me, and it was time for her to deal with the reality of her situation..

Today, a day later than agreed, she packed her things and  I took her to the train station, she said she was going back to Kenya, so thats probably for the best, I don't know where she will get the ticket from but again, I don't care any more. I wished her luck and put the entire painful year behind me.
I do indeed wish her luck, if she's reading this, she had an opportunity to have a totally new life, with or without me, but she choose instead to ignore my efforts, and take advantage of my care and good nature until such a point as I finally had enough.
I feel no shame for ending things and forcing her to move on.. she needs to get a handle on life as it actually is. The irony is if she had just made even the smallest effort to be nice, just be nice, ask me how my day had been, show any interest at all in the person who was making all her opportunities possible, I probably would have funded 3 more months.  But there's only so much entitlement, selfishness, immaturity,  rudeness and disrespect a person can take.

Life isn't that hard to work out... Just don't be a dick to the people who make life better.

I've learned a lot from this too.....I went into it thinking, whats the worst that can happen...... now that I know, I'm never risking it again.

Ahthankyew