ah fuckit

So..I got my biopsy results in.

Malignant.

shit.....that puts a bit of a damper on what had been a very nice day today.

I've told immediate family and friends, work colleagues will follow. So as is my habit, I'll start to record things here.

I wanted to be sure that my job was safe while I get treatment and have been told that it is, so we can make plans that suit, I would have hated to run back to the UK with no job, home or whatever.

Not sure the house purchase can still go ahead though, since life insurance is going to be a bit tough to get right now. But we'll check it out.
Another classic fucking example of good timing, we have our medicals for the insurance booked on Thursday, I suspect I'll have to disclose that, chances are my blood work will show up cancer pointers anyway, but we've asked the bank if they would still allow us to have a mortgage when one parter has such an illness.

So whats the score? Basically, I have a form of oral cancer, he did say the name but I couldn't pronounce it never mind spell. I'll note the name of it later when I have more details to hand.

Its fairly rare, but he's confident it's only at stage T1, ie a small tumor away from the bone and endocrine system. It will need treatment and the 1st step now is to work out exactly what stage my cancer is at and plan a treatment program.

I'll say this for Dutch health people though, they moved fast..on the same day they told me, I've had an MRI (btw that takes 30mins....), Xrays, ultra sound and 2 needle biopsies into the lymph glands in my neck to make sure that they are safe, if so, then we are indeed at T1 and treatment should be only surgery with not too much follow up. I don't really fancy the chemo and radio therapy that will be needed if its at a later stage but no point speculating till the results are in.

We knew this was bad news on Friday when the hospital called and brought forward my appointment, then said not to go alone...yikes...I spend the entire weekend shitting myself over what it might be, though I knew really. I shared my fears with Bina and she was also stressed. It was actually quite a relief when he told me, not good news of course but no more speculation. We now move forward.

Surgery is going to be a bitch, there will be removal of part of my jaw with subsequent problems with speaking and eating.....hmm silence and a liquid diet..I guess I can live with that for a while. Good job I've been fattening up for winter.

I have a surgical consult with a specialist in Utrecht on Monday, and a treatment meeting with my doctor on the 20th to determine the treatment plan depending on the test results.




Ahthankyew