Sleep does not heal all

After a week or more of getting by on less than 3 hours sleep per night , I took the chance to use my work at home day to maximise my sleep..went to bed last night at 8, yes 8...but the minute I dozed off I woke up coughing...so down stairs to have a mug of chocolate and do some student emails, before getting dozed up on cough meds, anti-histamines and pain meds for all my torn muscles(the cough has been so bad, I've torn muscles all over my stomach, and they bloody hurt..)...and boom got to sleep

till 3-30....more meds...back to bed...but this time I managed to get a decent sleep in, with no alarm set I woke up at 10, feeling chesty and congested but not as bone dead tired as I have the last several days.

So am happily now sat here dealing with student questions, finishing up some code on the main framework, and getting on with things...still coughing though....another few nights this weekend though....here's hoping.



In other news...Margaret is poorly, her intonation has gone massively off, almost a semi tone on the E an B stings at 12th fret...that's a massive amount, so she's off to the nice guitar doc at Dijkmans for a service and set up, hope its not a sign of a twisted neck or anything serious.

Ahthankyew

Its called Postnasal drip

After having a horrible cold, then another which gave me a chesty cough, then a chest infection which maintained the chesty cough, had a bit of a respite in the French air, due in part to some great French cough meds.  I finally started to feel better a few days ago as my chest was much clearer...only to then get the worst choking cough ever...its caused by mucus dripping into the back on my throat. The chest has past the baton to my sinus's

Something I am more than a little susceptible to because the back of my throat on the right side is numb from my surgery.....result...rather than an irritation...that I swallow, I end up choking as mucus gets down into my windpipe where the not so numb part of my neck, goes...wtf are you doing here and sends me into a mega coughing fit.


Arrghh...fortunately I have a few antihistamine pills in the house, I need to go get more...but they dry up the drip, giving a bit of a relief.. But I now find myself, listless from lack of sleep, sore in the throat, and starting an ear infection....woop do bloody doo.


its nearly 2months since I caught the 1st cold that started all this off, I really am tired of it, some people think its funny that I post the fact I get a cold, but it tends to lead to 2-3 months of being very unwell and it is tiring in the extreme.
I'm not a hypochondriac, in fact I'm whatever the opposite of that is, I detest being sick, but I am at a loss to understand why this keeps hitting me like this 1 or 2 times a year now...is it age?

I'm hoping this final phase will see me back to full health, though having been exposed to 300 germ ridden new students this last week...I'm not taking too many bets on that.




Ahthankyew

Refreshed and ready

Must be the nice French air, but I'm feeling so much more relaxed and ready to start the working year than I was at the end of our normal summer hols.

A wonderful week in the middle of nowhere in the company of the masterful Mr Trotter at Creative Vacances, and many friends mostly old, and some new, getting ready for what was probably the worst gig I've ever played, but such fun and pleasure in doing so..

We had 4 days of rehearsal in small groups, 3.5days  of which were spent doing 1 particular persons song...giving us precious little time to get the 2 songs I was performing just right...but despite forgotten chords and no idea how to end..we muddled though with smiles of our faces. The audience didn't seem to mind...or were stunned. Not sure which.

There's something deeply calming about being around people whose sole aim is to share your own obsession and to get better at it.

The week of course was a workshop/rehearsal under the tutelage of Mr Eddie Martin, an extremely accomplished blues performer who showed us a lot of useful tips and tricks, which I might be able to get into a performance one day. I'm not really into slide..but I really liked the sound he was making and might put some 16's on my tele one day to see how it sounds.
I look forward to watching his video, which he was hawking with unashamed glee after the event.

Always one to support good music I coughed up my sole 20euros spending cash for the DVD...which I had planned to buy a few drinks with in the pub...which turned out to sell only its own beer, not even coke...leaving me drinkless... a state very kindly resolved by Tony, the only newbie on the course, who shared a few G&T's with me in far more civilised fashion. Thanks Tony, I needed that.

It was lovely though to see Chris again and the old faces from past courses gathered for this performance event, and memories of past holidays with them with Chris and the lovely Jenny were never far away.
Its a shame these things don't always fall into my normal summer holiday window, I am really grateful my bosses allowed me to get away before the actual student teaching weeks. I think it has prepared me much better for the change in our work processes,.

So as I say, feeling calm, relaxed and ready....it was a wonderful week, aside from the absolute hell of the mosquitoes who found an inexhaustible buffet in me , and of course the tail end of the cold which became a cough (fortunately they have decent cough meds in France). The drive back was also mad....my sat nav decided it wanted to go on a tour of Paris and Waterloo....for no reason I can imagine....it made the trip back far longer nearly 11hours. And I HATE driving anywhere near Paris.

Probably won't be able to make it for another couple of years, but I will be back.... oh yes...I will...and I'm still fat...as the photo shows....and thats after losing 10kg....back on the diet...70kg by Xmas or no turkey for you.

Ahthankyew

And neither is this.

Another COLD!!!! aawww c'mon

sneezing and nose running like a water tap on full.....

only 3 weeks after flu and just as I get over the resulting chest infection.

BALLLSSSSSSSS


Ahthankyew

Oh thats not fair

It was quite windy today, lots of branches getting blown off trees and it made me remember that I had planned to weigh down the solar panels with sand bags...They're not light, but there is a large surface area so if a strong enough gust gets under it, it could in theory at least, blow them off the roof... You may mock but I found my old satellite dish in the neighbours garden one day when I neglected to take it off the roof...

Anyway...went to the garden centre for some bags of sand, wasn't able to find any canvas sacks, but I decided the 20kg plastic bags on their own were ok.

I got 3, for 5 euros, no problems loading them into the car from the shopping trolley, got home, took one 3 flights of stairs, put it down, set up the ladder, and climbed the ladder, a little shakily but successfully. And put the back on the edge of the roof.

Climb up...lift the bag to place it under the panels frame..and

TWWWWWEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKARRGHHHHHHHHHH

The sound you are hearing in your head, is one most middle aged men are familiar with....I didn't bend my knees and result, I pulled a muscle in my back....

Pain

more pain

followed by even more pain as I tried to stand up.

But I bravely, soldiered on ( soo sooo brave) dragged the bag to the frame and placed it

But I needed to get at least 1 more in place...

So..still in agony...I got down off the roof...made my way the bedroom where I had a tube of advil ipubrofen gel, and applied a healthy dose to my back...

Still in screaming agony (you'll notice its getting worse)
I made my way downstairs, grabbed another bag, and with courage in the face of excruciating pain, carried the 20kg bag on my shoulder up the 3 flights...took a small breather at the foot of the ladders and made my way up.

Then as the pain almost forced me to black out...I manfully put the bag in place over the other side of the Aframe ensure the panels were now securely locked down with 40Kgs of sandbag.

My job done I got down of the roof, swallowed a couple of paracetamol and rode (manfully) my bike into town for drinks with colleagues....where still in, unimaginable pain, I had several drinks which helped no end to block out the agony.


And now...several hours later when I should be fast asleep in preparation for my 1st early morning in 6 weeks as we return to work, I'm sat here trying to keep my back straight writing this absolute pish....

Good job I have some oxycontin in the med drawer....soon as it kicks in I'm going back to bed.




Ahthankyew

Sad day..but it had to happen

Last night I made a fairly on the spot decision that has been a long time coming, but today I have felt that it was totally the right one and a huge weight has been lifted. I'm no longer a member of the Gadgeteers. The band I helped form some 5 or more years ago...

I guess its basically the old musical differences reasons. As a band we never really quite knew what we were trying to be, and personality issues with a couple of the band members, myself included meant we never had any way to stamp any kind of authority on that... so we couldn't ever seem to get our own sound/style or consistency in what we did, our set list had over a dozen different styles and genres, with each of us being represented to large or small degrees in our personal rather than group taste...the group just never found its own identity.

When our lead singer proposed this song. I just knew we were done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXeRB-3nDR8

Despite the fact we have no keyboards, seldom use acoustic guitars, and its a talk song in a cockney accent...when our lead singer has a German accent.....I had enough...the stupidity of this suggestion just should not need to be pointed out..Clearly we are lost.

So...its over...I will miss it, and hope that we will find some way to play again, whole or in part, but I don't want to do this any more. I'm going to focus on Starrcase for my band work, at least we have focus and direction there and don't get stopped during our gigs... :(




Ahthankyew

More sad songs.....

Yeah I know I'm singing a lot of sad songs....its true I'm still very down over my break up, but not sure its the reason I'm doing sad songs... I just find them much easier to sing....and given that I have 0.0001% or less talent for singing, picking easy to sing songs is more of a factor than my broken and bleeding heart that just won't heal no mat.......oh best not get into that.

This is still a test recording though, I'm getting much closer to the perfect recording situation, mic is set right, levels are good, just some issues with the mastering settings on the audio..its compressing the vocals too much and putting a dull chorus on the guitar....But its still getting close. a few more test recordings and I'll start making some proper ones maybe with some happier songs.

Anyway this is the Tony Rich Projects song from 96, which I always loved, shame he didn't do more.(edit, apparently he did several albums, but none were as successful as his 1st with this song) It's played a little faster, cos slow solo acoustic guitar gets boring really quick..

I was going to do some VoiceLive harmonies on it as well, but somehow it sounded ikky so its just a solo voice, auto-tuned to fuck of course... And done in 1 take, no joins, but I might do a small acoustic guitar solo when I do a proper take over it....
This was the 5th take, I am still a bit croaky from the cold/flu and it does crack up at one point but I managed to clear my throat and carry on without coughing up a lung.. Also I nearly lost my plectrum and had to do a dummy stroke to re-grip...think I covered that up well too.

Overall, even though as I say its still just a test, I think this is good, and when I look back at some of my very 1st recordings, I think my playing/singing is getting better. I am still not a natural play while singing kinda person though, I really don't multitask well without a lot of practice, but here it seems to fit well....excuse me while I bask in a bit of self praise...don't worry though I know I'm still shit, just slightly less shit than a few years ago.. I'm chuffed with that.





Ahthankyew

Cant get no...satisifaction..

or videos done....my vocal work just isn't up to it since the flu/cold/cough I've been crackling and croaking... Doing some lovely guitar work for sure but no way to finish a vid till my already bad voice comes back to the normal shit level it tends to have..

Holidays are slowly coming to an end too, which is pissing me of, its been such a nice quiet time, but very unproductive on many fronts. The illness sent me nocturnal for about a week, which I've only just managed to fix...

The z80 project should now be done..a couple of minor bugs to fix, and a visit to the client on Saturday and we should be able to sign it off, then start looking for something commercial.

I did have a couple of projects lined up but both fell through..very upsetting.


In other news..I'm pretty fed up generally, life is dragging on a bit, not much happening in my personal life at all, I can only clean and polish the house so many times...I really want to get those videos made and do some fun coding.

Had an hour to kill in town yesterday when I took my watch in to get a new battery. So I went to the music store to try some outrageously expensive guitars

The high end PRS was wonderful, but had a distinctive electrical snap every time I changed the pickup with the selector, not nice... and for 3500, I expect more.

But the killer was a Gibson Les Paul Custom Silverburst.

Customs are supposed to represent the pinnacle of Gibson guitars, and yet this..felt a bit naff, it sounded ok, but it didn't exude the quality my Lucille, herself a Custom model has. Worse,  fretting the F on the high E, the note was totally choked hitting on a fret somewhere down the neck....ffs..that's shocking. 4600 for that guitar and Gibson, despite their much touted Plek setup system can't even spot a massive flaw on the 1st fret.. Several other frets produced dead sounding tones, but an actual choke is unforgivable...4600Euros,...wtf Gibson???

I do not for a second doubt that the shop will fix that now I pointed it out, and that it will leave there perfectly set up by them..but Gibson really need to get their quality control under..ahem control.

anyway...better use my newfound getting up in the morning skills to get started on some work...Z80 ahoy!!!





Ahthankyew

Fever, in the morning fever all through the night

Not been at all well the last few days. Had that cough I mentioned before...no I didn't go to the docs cos it didn't seem as bad as before. But on Tuesday evening  I started to feel quite unwell, with sweats and a steady rising fever...
It sorta crept up on me, between coughing and sweating keeping me awake my temp started to rise really high and then before I knew it I was in bed for 2 days, letting my sheets soak up far too much bodily excretions. I had a full blown fever and some very very odd dreams as I tried to sleep through it.

Talking cats was funny...telling me all about my war record and insisting I get ready for my work as a pool attendant where I could jump in an cool off.

Poor Harvey didn't quite know what to do, I left the back door ajar but locked so he could nip out to have a pee when needed, and I topped up his food in some of my more lucid moments, but basically I just lost 2 days and have no idea where they went.


very odd...

Anyway the fever seems to have passed, sweaty sheets are in the machine, and I've had some food and water to try to get myself back together again...feeling pretty wiped out though, the trip to the shop was more exhausting than 30 pushups....not much chance of doing 2 today.

better get back to the land of the living, the talking cat insisted.

Ahthankyew

STOP FROWNING AND PUT YOUR TONGUE BACK IN YOUR MOUTH.

Not a final version, just needed to make a 1st attempt to try out the software...even this took 20 takes cos I have a cold and kept cracking up or coughing mid take. This is the 1st and only one I managed to get all the way through...

Anyway, there's some awful banging noises I need to isolate, and I accidently wiped the sync clap off the master so it may not be 100% synced up...but this is my own, my very own version of SOS...kinda based on the James Arthur Xfactor version.




Ahthanky

ew

Here comes the cough

The last few years, every single time I get a cold, I end up with a nasty cough that refuses to go away, its crazy. Even this extremely mild cold I am just finishing now, which didn't cause me more than a bit of a chest tightness and croaky voice has ended with the cough.

Its stopped me doing my recordings...and its also stopping me sleeping again. I don't understand what the change in my aging body is that has resulted in every single damn cold ending up with a 2-3 month chest infection.

I'm not going to stand for it... its Monday now, if its not gone by Wednesday, I'm off to the docs for some AB's and not listening to any excuses about virus infections. I'm not having my entire summer holiday ruined by a fixable condition.






Ahthankyew

Turned nocturnal again

As always when I feel the world isn't worth living in...well that's a slight exaggeration, I am retreating into the things I love doing, Music by day, programming by night....can't afford booze till payday so this is the best use of my resources.

Been playing and trying out some new recording techniques that are starting to produce some very nice results, I'll have a few videos for you really soon I promise...singing is still crap of course, though the cold induced slight huskiness is quite nice when I'm not coughing up a lung between takes.
I have found though that putting a capo on fret 1, is making my singing a lot easier,it could be I'm starting to understand this concept of key and changing songs to suit my limited range rather than trying to force 2 untalented vocal chords to exceed their design limits.

I'm planning on doing 5 song at the moment, but unusually for me, all acoustic. Though I will try looping a few
They are;

SOS...a moody version of the Abba classic, which is starting to sound really nice after 18months of fiddling around
Creep...everyone knows this
Mad World ...looping for a nice solo
The Man who stole the world ...looping for a nice solo
Tracks of my Tears

Also working on but sure they are quite right yet
Paint it Black looping
I don't want to talk about it..Rod Stewarts old money maker but originally Crazy Horse's song

And I might do a proper video and not so rushed take of The Book of Love, such a nice song... I posted a quick take before, but my cold was in full flow as was my inability to hold the long notes....will see if I can do a video.

Dunno why I'm doing acoustic...its killing my fingers but I find I really enjoy the sound and the new recording ideas I'm doing. I don't really know how to do multi track videos, though I am going to try it soon, so all my work so far is focused on a live take. So everything you hear in the video is what I recorded when I did it, of course lots of processing and fx, but done live... I find that to be a fun way

So now I'm doing this...the VL Touch is providing my vocals, but only the smallest amount of pitch correction (no really), I'm using my wonderful No Hype RB1 mic, with a FetHead booster because the tone is wonderful
The guitar (my Breedlove AC25 SR+) is of course fed into that, but I then take the throughput and feed it via an iRig unit into my old Ipod Touch4 and use Ampkit...sometimes Amplitube as the guitar fx, mainly chorus and reveb.

Then...here's the cool bit, the vocal stereo wet feed and the guitar stereo wet feed go into 4 channels of my Zoom R24 recorder,  which is using a master Patch to compress some sounds... and voila..I get my audio track.crisp and clean, including every bang and breath not intended.
All the time I've got a Video camera pointed at me, and I just do a clapperboard sound/motion so that when I feed the video and audio into the computer they match.

I did try hooking the video mic up to the R24's signal, but it buzzed like mad, and wasn't able to get rid of it, there's no way to earth them since the R25 and camera are using 2 pin ac/dc adapters, but the R24 recorded sound is clean so I just match up the video and sound... This will also allow me to do the multi track videos when I figure them out in a few weeks. a 1st test sounded fine, time to push on and keep practicing for a proper take and then post my acoustic sessions.







Ahthankyew

Bit Lost

Seriously not sure what to do with myself at the moment, spending a lot of time just playing games, getting though a few bottles of wine and trying to do some z80 in my odd sober moments.

Just did the stupidest thing ever emotionally and got nowhere...open doors sometimes need to be closed properly, otherwise you end up finding that hope is just a very cruel emotion.

am out of red..time for a trip to the late shop.





Ahthankyew

About bloody time

Finally making some music...even though I have a nasty croaky cold, but wanted to do this for my friends Andy and Tracey who are getting wed today, and also leaving NL....so...happy and sad..

Ahthankyew

I'd forgotton how to relax

No really, all day Friday, I felt I should be at work, it was a nagging feeling that would not go away and I just could not settle.

Weekends are usually mine to do as I please but the realisation that I don't have to prep anything or catch up with anything....is woooooooooo so nice

I'm trying to work out how to fill my days. Certainly the next couple are going to be devoted to finishing the Colecovision game, its all there it just needs a final polish and push out the door, so to clear the decks I'm, doing that now, then a nice poker game and drinks later today, hoping I can maintain my no losing streak.

I also have a couple of freelance gigs in the air, not quite sure whats happening with those, but we'll see, one is technically difficult but would be a fun way to get myself back into the mainstream games again, one is pretty straightforward but no real credit in it for game dev....we'll see which one comes up 1st and go with it.. I don't want to spend the whole summer working but I do need to make a bit of money, if only to keep my VAT/Tax status, since they want to know why I keep posting no income.

But long lie ins, and late nights are my natural state of being, so looking forward to the next 6 weeks.

if I can remember how to do that relaxing thing....


oh there will be videos again soon too, just let me get the ColecoVision game out the way

Ahthankyew

I stood up

I stood up, I got listened to, its being resolved, I feel 10000% better now..

of course you have no idea what I'm talking about, and for now at least I cannot say, but it was just a situation at work that has troubled me, and various people insisted that it was not changeable and I had to go along with it. Its nothing to do with students or the education itself, just a quirk of employment....which as an Ex pat I found very worrying....

I may discuss in more detail later...for now though, I feel so utterly relieved and happy that I can focus on my continued career in a job I truly love.

Just as soon as my 6 weeks holiday are over :D


Ahthankyew

Do I quietly suffer or take a stand?

There's been an issue at work that has troubled me deeply for a couple of years, and I have genuinely had so many sleepless nights over it...like tonight.

I love my job and everything about it and hate the idea that taking a stand against something might result in me losing it, or having it changed, but I really feel that I have to speak up...

I won't discuss it here, except for this post to push me into doing what I need to do...talking to the right people and making my feelings very clear, either they will accept it, or they wont in which case,.....I don't know what will happen.. And that simple fact alone makes me more determined to confront this issue, no one should ever be stressing out about making important decisions that affect their career.

I'll hopefully manage to get a meeting sorted tomorrow....then we'll see if a follow up post is warranted...I may be stressing about nothing, or I may be making a horrible bad move.......sigh...no wonder I can't sleep.



Ahthankyew

another small hurdle 85.8kg

I haven't been keeping a regular note of my weight, since it seemed a bit dull, but I have been keeping to my, not very strict, diet the last few months and the weight has been dropping slow and steady but the last month I've been totally stuck on 86-87kg.. Partly because I am actually putting on a bit of muscle as my small exercise regime has been toning me up putting on muscle, and because I do lapse somedays.

But finally today, I broke through 86 and saw 85 for the 1st time....happy, still got at least 10kg to go though, but not in a rush, my trousers don't fit, my shirts feel baggy and my paunch is noticeably  reduced, no more folds..I can't afford a new wardrobe just now so will keep using belts.
Pics of me at last weeks Starrcase gig still show me as podgy though, but compared with pics from last year, there's a marked difference.

Keep on slimming.


Ahthankyew

of course not, but it is today

The final flood of retakes all came in last week.. along with the usual cries of, please can I have my grade I need it for my P....get in the queue.

I hate this, every single year, this happens, people fail their main exam, or worse choose not to take it.
Then they have to do a retake, in Block D I have 5 days...maybe 7 if I count weekends, which I always have to.. To get the grading done...some 50-60 assignments  each taking 30-40 mins to grade.
Somehow I have to fit this into the 50 or so hours of free time I have...but wait.. I dont' really have 50 hours...I do have some semblance of a life....though not at this time of year.
Its hell.. and that does not even take into account the other work things I have to deal with regarding admin, new course work,  intern visits, gamelab presentations , eating,sleeping.

But today as I sit down for my final push on the last 15 or so, I have an in box full of mails asking where' s my grade....

it seriously drives me nuts... I don't have the time or patience to respond to them. I work flat out using up all my spare time when I'm near dead on my feet, and get hassled for it.

At least next year we don't get this, our new V2 programme will have a grading committee process which hopefully means all grading is done in work time in fixed points with no take home and ruin your life grading going on..

I can't wait..


now...where was I ......oh yes...that's a fail.




Ahthankyew

Last day of marking???

Hope so.. I've got a tiny issue to deal with on one set of grades, which hopefully will get resolved soon as an email gets answered, then 8-10 retakes, then some stragglers......with a fair wind and my office aircon, it should all be done today.


Then I can relax a bit, look at some of the project work I need to get ready for next block and wind down for a gloriously hot summer...

Oh and I have 2 Starrcase gigs tomorrow and Friday :D That's going to be fun too, last rehearsal was brilliant



Ahthankyew