Sunday, 31 December 2017

Bye 2017 its been...odd.

As my back starts to feel normal again, I have picked up a cold....lucky I wasn't sneezing all week with a torn muscle in my back.

New Years eve today, I have been invited out but am going to stay in today,  I need to keep Harvey company, he gets very stressed by the firework frenzy that happens here, and I want to finish up a bit of office and studio clean up I started before the back went. Also I really want to have a complete revamp of my guitar set up, which is a pain in the arse really. Lots of disassembling and hole drilling in my pedal board. I just want to put my beat buddy into the system and also make more use of my VL3 as a proper guitar unit, I rely too much on my GR55 for guitar sounds and really I need it for the VL3's guitar options and step features....still like the GR55 a lot though. But I have a full looper on board the VL3 and effects I haven't even tried to use, bit silly having a 900euro unit and only using it for vocals when I don't do that much singing.

Diet has been out the window the last week, but going back on it, can't get to the gym till the back heals properly though so that's at least a week.

Book proof reading was a major pain, and I have to do it one more time apparently, but even so I am looking forward to getting the book out

Going to get the cleaning down, and start 2018 as I ended 2017, new attitudes and new determination.


Thursday, 28 December 2017

still sore

Not quite gasping for breath sore, but the back is still sore. Thought it was getting better yesterday but when I got out of bed today it was really bad...might have twisted in my sleep or something...

More likely I slept long enough for the painkillers and alcohol to wash out my system..I'll do something about that.


Monday, 25 December 2017

oh c'

I did my back in, not doing anything even remotely energetic or slightly risqe, nope , I was reaching into the fridge to get some fish and my back just exploded.
Unbelievable pain, had me gasping for breath for several minutes....before I was able to get on my back to flatten it out.

oh man, I was just about to cycle over to Liz and Pete's too, but after that it was very clear I wasn't cycling anywhere.

thankfully though our friend Berrie came and picked me up,...and drove very very slowly to avoid speed bumps. But he couldn't' help but corpse with laughter as I squealed in pain at ever turn and speed change.

Anyway as long as I sat in my chair I was ok and had a wonderful dinner followed by a simply awesome game of poker which saw me as chip leader for a large part of it. Sadly right at the end, Berrie came back into play and some utterly crushing play from him saw me losing more than 70euros of my much hard won winnings... But I broke even and had a great night..before crawling very slowly and painfully into bed after 5am...a good evening with pills and alcohol keeping the pain at bay

My back is going to be screwed for a few days still, but it will get better....I hope.


Thursday, 21 December 2017

Fame...but not much fortune.

My beginners C++ coding articles have started in MagPi I dunno if this will be 6 months or a year but its still nice to get myself a credit in a published magazine. You can also download it free or pay for it in the shops.
Its really hard to fit in what you want to say in only 3 pages, but I think I got off to a good, if uninspiring start. We'll see if part 2 when we finally get some graphics going will peak peoples interest.


Monday, 18 December 2017

Never invite a vegan to a meat party

I had a dinner party for my birthday( bappy hirthday to me) and had a really nice 4 course menu, but I totally underestimated how much effort it would take to provide vegan options for one of my guests, it was a bit of a nightmare for timing and organising.

but though the food was slow out of the kitchen, it was good, and the vegan options were well received.

I even made a vegan cheesecake for everyone...better than I expected... but frankly, I much prefer the real deal..

no point in doing my weigh in, I utterly stuffed myself as my birthday treat, I'll wait a few days till I get back to my diet...It may get destroyed again at Christmas but I'll try do do a bit more of that exercise stuff


Saturday, 16 December 2017

wtf 94.2?

Eh....but.. I've been good...aside from one slip where I had a chinese takeaway....damn that is disappointing.

ok so havn't actually been to the loo in a day or 2, one of the downsides of eating less carbs, but...still....this is very upsetting.

I need to get stricter on the diet and harder at the gym, not at all happy.


Wednesday, 13 December 2017

93.2 knew it was a blip

yeah, I guessed it was just a blip, back to the strict diet again and 5 mins extra on the rowing machine.


Friday, 8 December 2017

92.9 ?? thats...odd

Really not sure how, as I've not been quite so strict this week with my diet, but I have been maintaining my restricted lunch and no sweets/treats rule.

Maybe the increased exercise is kick starting the old skinny me's metabolism back in, in which case I'll be 8 stone again in no time.

wow 8 stone, I was that weight right up till I quit smoking in my late 20's. Don't really want to be that thin again but it will be nice to get to 10.


Monday, 4 December 2017

First look at my bookie wookie

I have the first proofs, and am really pleased to see it, not sure I totally like the formatting in places but its still great to see it. I supplied nearly 900 pages in double space and they've crunched it down to 450ish in single spacing...ok well it does mean less paper I guess, but I was kinda looking forward to seeing a big massive drop on your toes and crush them but still its a hefty book.

what is amazing is for god knows how long, the cover page and headers I had the name of the book and when did that happen??? I only realised when one of the notes mentioned changing the name of the did it change form The Fundamentals of C/C++ Game programming: using target based Development on SBC's... to.
The Fundamentals of C/C++ Game Development: using target based Developement on SBC's...........two developments??
I just blanked must have been there for months...

Anyway the book is clearly registered with its proper name, it was just my title that was mangled for some reason. I will have to spend a bit of time in the evenings reading through...that's going to be fun.


93.5 phew, not too much damage

2 proper meals in the hotel didn't do any real harm.

Back to the gym tomorrow (groan)


Sunday, 3 December 2017

Heading home

Ok thats Finland ticked off the list of places to see...rather cold and grey, and no sign of the northern lights sadly.

heading home on a very comfortable train whisking the miles away with power for the laptop and pretty decent wifi..this really is a nice way to travel.

Sadly in about 30 mins I have to leave this nice train and start the process of queuing up to be treated like cattle on a plane...bah...

Other book proofs are due for delivery tomorrow,  they mailed to let me know, so can't wait to see what they've done with the scribbles and bad screen shots I sent them...

No idea on the weight, didn't eat a lot in Finland but did have a few drinks with meals, so that might boost the calories, but that said, all this walking in snow and running for trains counts.


Saturday, 2 December 2017

Finland is very cold and very dark....

Well no scales to check so can't tell, but the food is quite fatty so guess it will have an impact...what I honestly didn't realise is they are 1 hour ahead....almost missed my stop on the train thinking I had an hour till it arrived

Just up here to meet up with some people, do some computer chats and have a little nosey around, I'm quite far north so kinda hoping to see the northern lights.

nothing so far.


Thursday, 30 November 2017


went to pick up the new phone, you know the one I scheduled for a Saturday delivery because I would not be home to pick it up Monday or Tuesday...
it was supposed to be at our local Gamma store by 3pm. I went there at 5.45

they didn't have it.

check track and trace, they don't know when it will be delivered there.



Wednesday, 29 November 2017

93.7 still no phone

A bit of extra effort at the gym and a long cycle ride, though I did treat myself to a curry, minus bread and drained of excess gee.....but back under 94 kg and will try to keep it that way, hoping to get under 93 in a week.

The new phone is currently sat in the pick up depot, after another failed attempt to deliver it yesterday. So annoying I got back just in time but was on the bike and could not get the back door open as I'd left the key in it (I left out the front door yesterday) I could see the van through the windows,if I had got in the door I would have caught him but by the time I realised I could not open the door, and had re-opened the back gate and run around he was gone. A comedy of errors really.

But I'll pick it up on the way home tonight..Not that its any kind of special event, its only an Iphone 6, to upgrade my 5, but I just want to stop making pocket calls to strangers as my 5's off button isn't working.


Tuesday, 28 November 2017

94.4 I feel bad....

I know exactly what this is, I got very very drunk on Sunday when out with my mate Martin...and I had a kebab.....and then another... I lost all control under the influence of the booze.

So 2 major break from my regime has shown the danger.... I will be good and do a bit more extra gym stuff.


Saturday, 25 November 2017

94.2 not as bad as feared

yes I did pig out the Thanksgiving turkey dinner was magnificent and I had a double helping..
Was going to go to the gym to work some of it off, but I'm stuck in waiting for my new Iphone to arrive.

on that note, its not an X,  I love my 5c I really do, but its getting chuggier each upgrade and the top on/off button is not really working. My provider had an offer on Iphone 6's and I thought I'd give it a try, its bigger than my 5c but we'll see how it works out. I'm not a fan of bigger phones, so chances are if I don't get on with it, I won't upgrade to the later Iphones as they are bigger still and I just don't want that. So this may be my last Iphone

when it arrives....


Friday, 24 November 2017

93.3 but that won't last

I am going over to my Friends Liz and Pete for a thanksgiving dinner (Liz is American), there's no way to avoid it,  a big turkey dinner, cornbread, rumballs and other treats....

Back  to 98Kg tomorrow I fear.


Sunday, 19 November 2017

93.7 oh yes,,,thats what I'm talking about

Love it when it keeps going down, I actually didn't expect it as I overate again, but gym, long walks, and reduced amounts of cake in my gob, are certainly working..

only 20Kg.. to go...oh....thats a lot...6 months at this rate, but hey, its all good.


Saturday, 18 November 2017

93.9 Get in there

Despite over indulging in some really nice home made vindaloo last night, I cracked 93, it feels good.

The gym seems to be working, even at the current very light level so will hope to see 92 this week....maybe


Thursday, 16 November 2017

94.4 oh well

Wibble and wobble. I was really hoping that I'd crack 93 this week, but nope. Not to worry, once the gym work kicks in properly I'm sure things will drop.

Diet is still going well, but I suspect my body has now adapted to the reduced intake and is keeping things level. I really hate being hungry and can't really cut any more from the intake without making myself super hungry, so its more about upping the gym work, just as soon as the machines don't start ringing heart attack alarms after 20 seconds.


Wednesday, 15 November 2017

94.2 Solid

100g is 100g, and not to be sniffed at.. Off to the Gym in a bit to do some grunting and sweating...

still my idea of total hell but has to be done.


Tuesday, 14 November 2017

94.3 with a bit of a wobble on 94.2

The scales giveth, and the scales taketh away....blessed are the scales.


Monday, 13 November 2017

grrr 94.9

Well as I said, fluctuations should be expected, and I did indulge in some potatoes last night, for the 1st time in a while.

Gym all signed up and the usual assessment process has determined I am over weight..unfit and need to lose weight and work on my cardio...well duh!

Didn't really get a chance to use any equipment properly yesterday but will do on Wednesday, just go through the machines for a few minutes each till I feel the fitness levels are appropriate to try and turn up the heat.


Saturday, 11 November 2017

94.4 get in

and we're back to the dropping....hoping to get to 93 at the start of the week, will be taking a cycle into town later to sort out a gym membership and hopefully doing my 1st session on Sunday

I do need to get a reasonable pair of trainers and sort out some workout gear,
Am planning 3 trips a week, Sunday, Wed, and Friday. I don't have band practice or other regular commitments on this days so an hour in the gym then will be perfect. Since its also close to the cinema, I might even have a crack at catching a movie or 2 that I've been missing out on.


Thursday, 9 November 2017

damn.. 95.0

Borderline 94.9 but still a slight gain on yesterday...I guess 3 brie crackers was 2 too many for supper.

Its annoying to see but really its quite normal to fluctuate 300-500g on a daily basis, depending on what you eat and when you go to the loo. So I won't get to downhearted over this... I did a good long walk with Harvey, who was plumb tuckered out when we got back, so must have been good.

Back is almost better now, so will get signed up to the gym tomorrow and make my 1st efforts this weekend.


Wednesday, 8 November 2017

94.7, cracking a digit is very cool

Yup, dropped below 95, as I hoped, and doing well. If I maintain this 200-300 g per day I'll be a very happy man, though I suspect once my body realizes what I'm trying to do it will rebel and the drop will slow down.
Getting a unit digit down is very satisfying, I suspect I might have a party (diet food) when I drop to into the 80's

realizes...realises... I wish this spell checker would use proper English instead of that American version...grrr


Tuesday, 7 November 2017


Yes I'm going to start recording the weight again after a few years when it was down in the low 80's, more to shame myself a the moment than anything but given that I was 98kg 2 weeks ago, this is a good start.. It hovered on the 94.9kg but didn't stay there.. But I am losing 200-300g a day with my diet and increased activity, as soon as the back is feeling better I'll get to the gym and really get the calories burning.

And that's the only gossip I have, back is still twinging, but getting better.


Sunday, 5 November 2017


I don't think here is a connection to my recent full on cleaning mode, but last night as I was sat in the office doing some work, I stood up to an intense pain in my back...muscle pulled for sure...

So no more cleaning for a few days, just as well most of my normal work involves sitting very still on a cosy chair, which may in fact be causing the back ache.

But yes half the house is now very clean, I even spent a good hour scrubbing the steel extractor hood with vinegar to get the grease off it.  Still got the spare room and attic to go for the deep clean experience but the house is suitably clean and tidy again as part of my, new me, run away from the old me before it kills me.
Diet is progressing well between 2 an 3 kilo's lost, depending on when you weigh, and I think I have found a nice gym in town, which I was going to sign up for yesterday until the back thing happened (a warning perhaps)

Going to do something about my wardrobe soon too, but not till I've lost some more weight, there's no point buying clothes that fit now and won't in 6 months, except for t-shirts, which I wear anyway so thats hardly going to be a new look.

Quite like granddad shirts and waistcoats, even though they are very out of fashion, and hard to source. Will see about that another time.

Today, though I'll have to pass on the cleaning, and keep myself dosed with ibuprofen and focus on some sit down work.


Saturday, 28 October 2017

Another check

US spelling, I had forgotten that I had another advance on my book due when I delivered the manuscript, which I did last month, and sure enough this morning a good old fashioned paper check arrived... :D The bank won't have any idea what to do with it again but even so its a nice little bonus to top up again after my holiday.

Lets hope I get these every 6 months now and in much bigger lumps....not likely but nice to dream.


Chained to the loo

I've had a rather nasty stomach flu since coming back from Thailand, I felt unwell the day before I left, but dosed up on loperamide to avoid any nasty accidents which even with the delayed travel back kept me in clean underwear.

Since I got back I didn't use the loperamide so that whatever it is can get the hell out of me, but after 5 days of bad bad cramps and explosive trips to the loo I've gone back to it. Which is good, except when it wears off, the resulting trip to the loo is beyond description......beyond....description.

Anyway, we'll see if I need to take some more later.

The other downside to this flu is that I've felt pretty rough overall, but that hasn't stopped me going to work or doing my increased physical activity but it does impact on my coding, I cant really come up  with a single idea for what to do next....really frustrating.

I hope this wears off soon. On the plus side, its also impacting on my appetite, I'm just not that hungry.....good for the diet I suppose.


Friday, 27 October 2017

hah I outlived the Gym

Spent the last week, on the diet, already dropped 2 kg, most likely from the stomach flu I've had since I got back from Thailand. But also been increasing my physical activity, much longer walks with Harvey (he's confused!!) Longer routes to work on the bike, and making more effort to use stairs etc.

ok, they are very small steps, but I was just building up to the horror of the gym.....but no horror needed, I walked past today with the intent of popping in to see what was on offer.. and its closed :D

Despite my 25 euros a month propping it up for the last 4 years with 0 actual output, they closed.... yeaaahhawwwwfuck

Seems to have happened a few months ago, that's when the direct debits out of my account stopped, I hadn't noticed and I just never walked passed since to notice the doors were actually locked.

Oh well, guess I will have to find another gym to join, there's dozens of them around so it won't be too hard I'll scope them out for a week or no I won't I really do have to do this.


Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Oh you fat bastard

So Thailand was fun but also an eye opener, I was shocked and saddened by the scores of fat old men with young thai girls on their arms shuffling around. I can't judge if their relationships were genuine or part of the holiday sex trade but it did shock me into taking a long hard look in a literal mirror, and fucked if I like what I see.

I've been in serious denial about my weight gain and slipping life standards, the house is messy, the back yard and shed are bomb sites, and I'm not taking care of the normal every day things, including my health, I eat too much, I drink far too much and I just don't do enough. Basically I've been moping around for nearly 3 years now, its time to get a grip.

I have to stop, or I'm not going to see 60. A proper diet, a proper clean up, a proper exercise regime...and yes I do mean the much detested Gym, but I weighed myself last night..

98Kg.....98Kg......fucking hell....I mean its no wonder I suffered in the heat in Thailand, and was even puffing as I put on socks....c'mon Brian...time to stop.

I am going to get my shit together. Having a total clear out, of all the crap in the cupboards and freezers.


Sunday, 22 October 2017

home sweet home

I'm back

I can say I had a very nice holiday, saw some wonderful sights, enjoyed some memorable bucket list experiences, drunk a lot of cheap booze and enjoyed it, but there were also things I didn't like.

I got a little ill the last days, part cold/flu, part food, the travel back was fucking awful and I will never fly Aeroflot again ever....

But also I can't see me going back to Thailand, its nice to see, but once seen, it pretty much wraps up any reasons to go there. It's very commercial, hard to find any authentic sense of Thailand, and it's very oppressive and the sleaze that everyone assumed I went there for is incredibly real, and very depressing and in no way appealing to me.

At times it was impossible to sit at a bar and drink without being hassled by hawkers or more often hookers. I know I'm a sexy maaaan, but I kinda don't need to hear it as I'm trying to have a quiet drink and being pawed at. I did find some quieter bars but even then the ladies would turn up at different times looking for customers.  I discovered it was best to hang out in bars where Aussie families hang out, for some reasons the Aussies have the family holiday part separated from the hoards of young men on brothel crawls. Sadly the family bars switch into hooker hang outs around 9 when the kids go back to the hotels/

Its actually rather depressing and sad to have such in your face approaches, it made me wonder why such a market exists, and the reasons is basically the tourists who go there to treat the place as a massive brothel.
The other thing that disturbed me was seeing so so so many old men, my age and older walking around town with young rent a brides hanging on to them. I took a long hard look in a mirror, and wondered how long will it be before I sink that low. Its really time to fix some aspects of my life before I slip into that kind of decline.

The country side is stunning, and the boat and jungle/forest trips I went on were wonderful. But now I've been there done that, I won't be back.

And I will NEVER fly Aeroflot again at least not via Moscow...did I mention that. I can't even write down how awful the customer service is..never ever again.

Back to work tomorrow. Can't wait.


Saturday, 7 October 2017

ermm no its not a sex holiday

I'm really quite amazed that people are assuming that a singleton heading to Phuket for a week is there to work his way through the entire female and ladyboy population...... Everyone, I've told I'm going there on holiday has made that assumption?

At no point did it even enter my head.. I'm going for the warm weather (albeit possibly rainy), the beaches, the food, the boat trips, the excursions, the temples, the elephant and tiger sanctuaries  and the no, no, won't have time for the sex. There are 2 apparently well stocked brothels within 5 mins walk of my house if I wanted that and if that was the intent I think Bangkok would have been a better destination. But still a damn site more expensive that walking round the corner to Club Reaperbaan...

I really am just going to relax, get away from computers and students and book writing for 1 week in a 5 star hotel, have drinks on the terrace, swim in the eternity pool and laze in the on terrace Jacuzzi.  It cost much the same as a week in the Canaries so why not?
I had 0 summer holiday, cos I was way to busy coding and writing so this is my way to escape, doing something totally different before the next set of student assessment stress, then Xmas.

I am really really looking forward to it, I hope the rain isn't going to be too bad, but 25-30deg temps and being waited on hand and foot is going to be great.


Sunday, 1 October 2017

JamHub is no more

Actually its been no more for a while, the company I mean, it went under Dec 2016. What a shame that such a clever innovative product did not make it.
I don't use it as much as I want to, since some bandmates for whatever reason are reluctant to use it, but in small sessions its wonderful and I find it a great tool. Though not that great for recording.

I needed to replace a couple of extension parts,  fortunately I found a source in NL/Bel that has them.. I better get a few, but I will just get the one I need and let the school buy the 2 it needs.


Wednesday, 20 September 2017

new vid

A few dead notes in the guitar, but we're still getting the hang of this number, Roos sings beautifully.


Saturday, 16 September 2017

Holiday pick me up

In get a week off in October, and didn't really fancy staying in NL, so decided to head off for some sun, as I really didn't have much free time during the Summer, working on projects and the book.

But where can you go where its still warm? I like the Canaries a lot and always wanted go to Greece but Europe is chilling down now so it wouldn't be the best idea.

So I am going further afield and heading to Phuket in Thailand for a week, helluva long flight, via Moscow of all places, but its still very warm there in October, potentially a bit rainy but I booked flights and 5 star hotel for pretty much the same as it would cost me to go to the boom going for it.

Hoping I can get the last of my projects done and dusted beforehand
lol yeahh.hhh


Sunday, 10 September 2017

New laptop

Got a new work laptop, its impressive a top end Alienware thing
horrible  keyboard though, smaller than my last one so I am hitting the capslock instead of the A key

Its going to take a few days/weeks to set it all up the way like it,  which is why I hate new laptops, I'm used to a particular  setup on my laptop, which will take a while to get done on this..b I have my old laptop for a week or 2 as I transition, so hopefully I can get all my tools transferred

oh well, its a lot more powerful, capable of running VR and Vulkan so it'll be useful for me to continue my learning on 3D and API's


Tuesday, 5 September 2017

huge come down

ok going to say it now, I'm feeling incredibly down, the end of the book has meant I've had a little bit of time to myself, and its kinda depressing that Im no further on in my life than I was 2 years ago.

Not going to go into details but it is getting to me.I was supposed to be at a concert tonight, but going alone didn't really appeal to  me so I gavce the tickets to friends. I've got another thing non Friday, going to see Ricky Gervais, that will be funny so I'm going to go, and take my friend Liz,   it will hopfully cheer me up, but I wish it could be someone I'm in relationship with...its just not happening..

Also the coding work I am doing is actually giving me a lot of stress, I managed to achieve some very major things in the last couple of days, getting graphics working across almost all linux targets and today working out the problem and a fix for the keys on linux

I was initially delighted at cracking these 2 tricky issues, but now I'm just feeling exhausted and down. If I keep working I'm distracted, if I stop, the shittiness of life kicks back....

guess I just have to keep busy.

ho hum....better not start singing sad songs on the guitar, I'll depress the neighbours


Sunday, 20 August 2017

And now we're back, from outer space

I just walked in to ......

sorry, listening to disco music..

Back to work tomorrow, no students yet, we spend 2 weeks getting set up and ready for them but I think we're already pretty sure what we're going to be doing with them, barring a few minor changes.

Its been an interesting holiday, I worked the whole time, aside from a couple of, can't keep my eyes open I need to sleep, rest days and one poker night, I've been a busy camper.

At least we get a week off, 5 weeks into the block, I am going to try to escape to the Canaries for some sun and sand and escape from computers.. I'm sure something will screw up that plan.


Thursday, 17 August 2017

missing bits replaced

Ok, missing bits have been replaced, still dunno where they went to but not to worry I was able to get them back in.

Sent off to the publishers again, now waiting for feedback, and also doing the website now..

Back to work on Monday...just as  I need a bloody holiday


Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Nearly normal services are resumed

Handed over to the publisher yesterday, an of coruse as soon as I sent it I found lots of things I ndeed to edit...but the book is content complete and all I am going ot do is fix, refine some no more late late nights.

and the Coleco game is starting to make sense again....

Im going to have a mega clean up to get ready for he life I'm about to reclaim.

oh hang on, I forgot something else :D


Sunday, 6 August 2017


yes a few small things got overlooked,  I'm working through them now...nothing mad though, its genuinely close.


Saturday, 5 August 2017

....could it b?

No todo's to do, some tidy up's and checking but, no todo's to do.
not going to say it yet......but the end is basically......just over there past that big cock up you can't quite see around that corner, next to that thing you forgot behind that bit you did totally wrong.


Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Limping over the line

Still one final thing to do, explaining and reusing terrain collision meshes.....oh god its slow work....

Sadly my main model for the environment isn't especially good, creating more issues, But I have managed to get the main code in and running, I've got the screen shots and code snippets. I just have to fix or find the model that can provide the right visual cues to explain the points...and then its done.

Been working 20+ hour shifts for the last 4 or 5 days...on top of 14-16 hour shifts....I am close to dropping dead...but the thought of being done with everything is keeping me going.

hopefully my next post will be...its done!! praise bejeebuzz.

watch this space.


Saturday, 29 July 2017


I had a relatively painless experience installing Bullet Physics, the test systems worked ok, I put my cars in and they fell and bounced, but rotated problem things I...

I'll rotate them back....only for the physics to stop phyucking working.

Oh and trying to add the debug draw.....bastard system....


an time for a nice cool bottle of supermarket piss weak cider, then back to work.


Friday, 28 July 2017

7 todo's to do

thats 7 things I noted in the book I needed to review, add to, or provide code for...hoping to get 2 more done to day and the final 5 over the weekend.............then.....I dunno

maybe have a life or something?


Saturday, 22 July 2017


A week gone, still not done....lots finished and some good new stuff added but still not done.

so so so fucking hard to finish


Sunday, 16 July 2017


Desperatly trying to maximise my time to finish off the book and coleco projects, so even though the holidays started on Thursday more or less worked constantly since, aside from a night out with my good friend Ed. I have a day out today as well which hopefully will end in a good poker profit, but even if not it will be a fun day.
Then back to it...No  messing, just working non stop till they are done. Nocternal living here I come.

there's not much else going on, I will report any interesting stuff if and when it happens.


Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Phew mad rush

Been mega busy, at work and at play, the Annual Sebeliouslaan double graduation gigs went quite well in spite of our slightly improvisational nature of our replacement lead singer. The extra rehearsals were well worth it.

I was much less happy with my gig at Belcrum Beach thugh accompanying Roos and her friend Ed from another Band (not our Ed, though both play bass funnily enough)  I had to play some melody lines on a song she was singing and Ed was playing the main chords, but I simply could not hear the guitar through the monitor and the engineer was not at the desk...I made so many errors I could see people cringe... I slightly redeemed myself by playing SOS for Roos, since I can do that with with my eyes and ears closed but I felt terrible at being so bad.

Anyway, that was just the personal life, work wise, graduates are graduated, interns are interned and students are all graded and most of them can move on to 2nd year and have some fun. Its been a good crop this year I feel back for the couple who didn't make it but I'm hoping they keep up the work and maybe they will get where they want to be.

Its back to book work, which in spite of all the other work I've managed to squeeze in quite a lot of ...but now the Publisher wants it done.. I have to just work full time flat out and get it to them.


Sunday, 25 June 2017

The site is up!

Well its up, but its not got all the content in there yet

Take a look at it here its still mostly a holding page and due to my lack of expertise with Dreamweaver, the design package I am using, its pretty generic, but I'll tinker with it and start adding pages and content to it as I go.

I've got to offload a lot of the book code sections to that, to keep the page count down so it will start to grow.

Had a lot of fun yesterday adding the light based shaders to the 3D games, so nice to see them becoming much more realistic. Per vertex lights work great, per pixels too but what a performance drop in them.
I won't be doing per pixel lighting in the actual book demos, it will just cause things to really chug,  so its going to stay on the site as an example of what is possible rather than what you should do.

Back to work progress is really good again and I want to make the biggest dent possible in the todo list this weekend to try to get it to the publisher .

The book has been pushed back to Q1 2018, which is a shame, but I am not going to assume any more time I must finish this in the next couple of days so I can get my life back together and move on with other things that have been stacking up.


Sunday, 18 June 2017

Slowly readching the end.

Incredible, I mean really incredibly, the progress has been so painfully slow, but I can see the last few bits to do, the only  problem is that for the last 2 -3 weeks every single thing I've tried to do has not worked, 5 minute tasks inexplicably take 5 hours, small errors get magnified, and for no reasons I can see, things that should work fine and do on a PC test case, don't work on the Raspberry.

Im sure much of this is just due to total code exhaustion, there's so much code in this book and the support site and trying to keep it all in a consistant style while allowing it to evolve is a mental task I don't think I've ever had to deal with on an individual project

But in spite of all this incredibly hassle, I'm limping to the finish line..... I just fucking hope that last day or 2's work does not take a month or 2


Friday, 16 June 2017

Nose almost worn down

Its been stuck at the grindstone for too long

I  am genuinely exhausted, not getting to bed till 2/3 am and having to get up for work at 8 at least twice a week, (lucky the other days Im not so fixed on my start time)

I know Im making progress but it just never seems to end, small 10 min jobs inexplicably bring some hiccup that takes 10 hours, sucking both time and life out of me.

the todo list is shrinking at an impressive rate, but some of the code still refuses to play nice...

I'm going to try to kill it this weekend....try....assuming nothing else takes 10 hours.

I never in my wildest dreams, after 70+ game projects thought writing a book would be is.


Thursday, 15 June 2017


slow progress on the code, fixed a lot of the issues but slooooooowwwww

getting very wound up


Sunday, 4 June 2017

Horrible times

Less than 2 weeks ago, I was in the UK, staying for a while in Southwark, right next to London Bridge,  and visited and ate in the Borough Market, walked over London Bridge, like so many other tourists.
I went to Manchester, to Victoria Station to change trams to get to Rochdale.

Hearing about the bombs in Manchester happening as I was passing through, and last night the terror attacks in London, on the streets I walked through and sat and ate, it makes you pause...anyone can be a victim of these nutters. Even safe and sound back in NL I'm troubled that no one is ever safe from madmen who want to harm you, its only accidents of timing and location that keep you safe.

Horrible times we live in, I doubt I'll live to see the end of these kinds of acts of violence justified by twisted religious morality.  We need to make the right start for future generations and take away the immoral justifications, starting with religion. Why do we still make excuses for it? It is without question the greatest evil humanity has ever produced.

Its not that I'm against Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, or any of the countless other beliefs and their practitioners, I recognize the supposed need and real comfort they give people, but they are fictions, being used as facts. Its delusion on a unimaginable scale.
If we stopped presenting them as facts to our children and let them question and refuse religion, we'd end so much of the hate that is used to divide us. It might take a couple of generations but getting people to stop brainwashing kids to believe that an invisible  sky fairy is looking after us and only us because we live the right way, is one thing we can do to make a better world.

Teach our children that they are responsible for all the worlds good and evil things and pretty soon they will want to make things better, not transform it into their idea of heaven on earth. Morality isn't religion's gift, its humanity's.

There is no afterlife, there are no rewards or punishments for the life you lead, there are no gods....lets just make the world better for us and our children and enjoy your time.


Thursday, 25 May 2017

I am home

And so is Harvey.

life is back to semi normal.


Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Record Time

Passport is here, so happy, as much as I love spending time on Danni's couch listening to Harvey2's babbling, I need ot get changed, heading home tomorrow


Monday, 22 May 2017

This is rather nice...might do it again

One of the nice things about my cheap 1st class ticket, cos I booked in advance, is that I get to use the 1st class lounge at Euston.
Its a little busy at the moment, but free coffee, biccies and a small desk space to set up the laptop and charge phone etc...rather pleasent.

I must say I have always refused to use 1st class even if only a few quid more but in future I'm going to grab it with both hands, this is so much less stress than standing in the main hall of Euston smelling Burger King and staring blankly at a screen waiting for an update every 10 mins..

Heading up to Manchester to stay with sprog and await my passport. Left my nice AirBnB room this mornng all tidy, but of course I had to cock up and left my keys and dutch travel card in the desk drawer which  luckily I  noticed when I got to the tube station but before I got on the train...a few calls and a mini cab back to the place where I was able to get the friendly neighbour with the key to let me back in and collect my things.

I had to take the cab because quite frankly the hills up and down from the station to the house almost killed me. 9 years in the Netherlands has totally ruined my once fine athleltic physique...cough

nah its not funny I was totally puggled walking up a was a steep one but still, puggled is not good....I must do something about my weight and general state of fitness.... I  keep saying this I know, but fuuuck....when walking up a hill is too  much  effort I need to do something.

Book remains in 99% but can't do that last 1% limbo, was working all the time I was in the BnB till the small hours, only popping out to eat, but lack of notes makes it impossible to finish. The new model I was using for the race track demo also turned out to have a few issues. Nothing I couldn't fix but it just drained time and  still isn't quite right. Hoping I have space on the train to get it up and running and move on to the final open envirionment game

Better sign off here and use the hour I have to wait to  update the chapter on the issues with the model and see if the error I had is something obvious that I can fix without a Pi attached.


Sunday, 21 May 2017

a First class wait

Well the AirBnB is really quite nice, its like being a lodger in someones house, though I've not seen much of them, we chat when I go downstairs for coffee.
I'm madly trying to edit my book, without the benefit of my own library for checking things, especially maths. Making a lot of things much harder.

Lucky for me I brought a raspberry and screen with me, its a bit small, but it at least lets me test out some of my code, not all though which is a concern and I still need too try to deliver on Monday.

I've no chance, a lot of my notes and content are on my main PC at home, ....home :(

I've let the publisher know my prediciment, Im sure he's sympathetic, but really just wants the manuscript, so I've worked as much as I can on my laptop, sat on a deck chair in my bedroom. Getting the spelling and content all ready.. I think that we're there.. If I can't actually do the coding, at least I can do the editing, its 840 pages, 40+ more than they want but they can change the text size if its too much for them.

Tomorrow I head up to Manchester for the week to spend with my daughter and grandson, not sure how much work I'll get done up there, I know she has no wifi but I can use my phone if I am not too reckless with bandwidth.
Since I was able to book in advance I have a 1st class ticket, never done that before, but its more to make sure I have a table and power socket to work on the 2+ hour trip.

As much as I am looking forward to seeing Danni, I really wish I could get home and finish my damn fucking book as well as the Colecovision work I have to nail now that I have invested in some proper equipment.

I've got a plane booked on the 29th, onthe presumption the passport will come on the 26/27th.... I just hope I didn't misspell some twatting thing.


Thursday, 18 May 2017

London... a new kind of hell

I've lost my passport, no idea how, where, thiough fair idea of when, but lost or stolen I am currently without it...

Thats a pain in ways you can't imagine, since as a UK citizen, currently in the UK, I have no means of getting hold of emergency travel documents...nor can I apply for the 1 day priority passport, I can only apply for a renewal and that will take 7-8 days

oh shit......and I check out of the hotel later today...

I have a plan, I'm tryng to get an Air B&B for a few days, then head up to Danni's for a few more days, where I can have the passport sent, assuming they will send it there since I am actually not registered at any address in the UK...this is going to be such fun..

I need to get a passport applicaiton from the Post office, this morning, train to Tunbridge Wells to get a friend who is a company director to countersign that he knows me, back to London Passport office to make the application then hope that all goes well..

Currently having trouble getting Air B&B to accept my drivers license as ID....oh joy

And all through this I need to finish my book....

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and another fuck....


Friday, 5 May 2017

Grading over, back to mad work

Nice to get the grading down, it was kinda nice to not be writing as much while I was doing that, but time get back to mad hours and finish this damn book, only 1 thing to finish up and then I ncan hand it over finally

just hope I don't have any last minute bugs to clear up.


Sunday, 30 April 2017

Super human effort, but missed again

I think I have 3 or 4 days work left to finish the book, but I am utterly dead on my feet, and that means I missed my deadline...maybe my final one, I don't know.

I got it down to 830pages too, so close..but there are 2 projects still needing written up, one has had some issues, that I haven't totally solved but will get a bit of help from my collegues to push past, am sure I'm just making a silly error.

I am hoping, that with so much done and so close to the wire that it won't get canned...I can't see it, there's just so much here...but I need to spend a few days on school work.

I'll send what I have tomorrow and let them decided what to do next, I am sure they've had this before, its not as if I'm skiving off the work, its just that coding and writing coherently about coding is bloody hard work!


Tuesday, 25 April 2017

and moving to new shooters

Again an extension of the scrolling platform game, the skramble game is more or less complete...this is the last of the software rendered sprite games, this is now being converted into a hardware sprite based mega shooter, with particles and so on, should only be another days work on that then I can move fullto to polishing the 3d.

Ironiocally the 3D stuff is far easier to do, and hopefully will only take a few days so I can make my deadline, and have an early night.


Thursday, 13 April 2017

to sleep perchance to dream

Massive massive amounts of work done this week and last, but this week in particular, huge amount of writing and coding, but still not able to nail the coffin lid down on 2 projects...but the big project, the book, has been given another small extentions, so tonight I don't see the need to work til 4/5am though I probably will

Got a nice long weekend to come up now for Easter, thank you jeebuz.. and hopefully I can finally finish the Coleco game and complete the last 3 projects on the book. they have all been written and work fine, but I need to condense the descriptions into 1 section. I compressed 3 2d examples into one and it saves a load of pages, though it did take a while to code..

Anway....aside from a trip to Amsterdam tomorrow, I don' t need to set any alarms when I finally collapse in bed.


Wednesday, 12 April 2017

abra cadburys

Been working on converting a single screen plaforrm game

into a multi screen scrolling game...these were originally 2 separate projects but space has become critical in the book so I needed to put the two projects together and show how to turn the 1st into the 2nd with the aid of a couple of simple concepts.

Saved quite a few pages and I think it makes the experience a lot more fun.


Tuesday, 11 April 2017

no Brian 4 hours is not a nap

so the cycles of 20 hours work, 6-8 hours sleep and yesterdays 4 hours to come back to nomral time for work purposes, had me crashing to noddy land with a bang.

I did a huge amount of work today, but felt myself running out of steam around dinner time, and realised I was about to fall asleep whether I wanted to or not.

anyway yes I dropped right off, and sleep through the 1 hour timer I se up and 4 hours later I'm up.

so yes, back to work, and probably end up back in bed for 8am, just in time to get to work at 10 ish

silly sleep/work cycle Im faaaar too old for this shit.


Saturday, 8 April 2017

Just like busses

So after spending over a grand on dental treatment with as it turned out, 250 euros worth of cover, you'd think my troubles would be over. toothache on the other side of my mouth....wonderful. I can't really afford to do anything about it as I have shed loads of other things to pay for at the moment, going to have to wait till we get our May bonus to sort it...

I wonder whats next on the horizon to drain my already strained wallet?

Better go buy a months worth of ramen noodles from the local Asian supermarket, that's 5euros I wanted to save!!!


Friday, 7 April 2017

Just keep coding, just keep coding

And take the odd break now and again to post nonsense on here while I try to remember if I already explained virtual functions in a previous chapter, oh  I did, ok better move that part.

I'm very tired, trying to work round the clock, only stopping to eat and drink, and then sleep.
its working out at 20hours or so work, 6-8 hours sleep, so I am rotating through nocturnal and diurnal (I looked that up), Progress is good though, but not sure its good enough. Still got a couple of big bits of code to write up, and the page count is not dropping much.

I did get it down as low as 850, but now I'm doing the bigger 3D games which need a lot of chatter to explain its crept back to 900+.. I've chopped things I don't really need to talk about too but so far its all still quite a lot of words..

who's idea was it to write a book!!!

oh shit yeah!


Friday, 31 March 2017

Oh fuck me....I thought I was good at this shit.

20 hours, 20 bloody hours hunting for a strange weird bug, 20 hours, no matter what I did I could not find it, I was certain I'd put the right things in the right order, and comparing them with another project doing more or less the same thing.... it should have didn't

in the end it was a typo, noting major but it stopped all my rendering from working..
see if you can spot it.

    dst_rect.x = 16;
    dst_rect.y = 16;
    dst_rect.width = p_state->width;
    dst_rect.height = p_state->height;

    src_rect.x = 16;
    src_rect.y = 16;
    src_rect.width = p_state->width << 16;
    src_rect.height = p_state->height << !6;      

    dispman_display = vc_dispmanx_display_open(0);
    dispman_update = vc_dispmanx_update_start(0);

yup.....I'm well pissed off.


Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Renouncing my British citizenship, step 1

Well, today's the day, the Letter has arrived and the UK has pushed a self destruct button it can't unpush.
I am too depressed to even comment, I'm going to withdraw from political debate now. I no longer consider myself a Brtish citizen, even though I'm hesitating on pulling the Dutch trigger, I will start the move to regain my European citizenship as soon as I can, I feel its time to leave the UK behind me and let it get on with its self immolation
a sad sad day indeed.


Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Oh dear....I have how much insurance?

Not as much as I thought...I honestly thought I had 1000 euro cover....dunno why I had that number in my head but that's what I thought I had... Its a shame I thought that, because if I had thought a much lower number I don't think I would have asked for such expensive treatments and would not have to worry about paying out a lot of dental bills.

Yup, I had 250 cover...and the bills are already up in the 800+ with at least another 150 to go.


Can't upgrade it till 1st Jan 2018 either so nothing I can really do but take the hit, get the teeth fixed and limp on till payday a whole month away.

Anyone have some nice noodle recipes?

I can cover it, though I have some heavy expenses this month to deal with too, fortunately I have been saving up the pennies and can take some of the hit on the chin. But economy drive has to kick in, no more Grand Cru Champagne and 1000 euro a night hookers for me.. back to cider and grab a granny nights

Good job the freezer is full of food cooked and uncooked, and I have arranged to work from home for the next week or 2 to finish the book, this means I won't be spending money on bad sausage rolls in the canteen though I might have to stock up on coffee.

Damn dentistry is expensive.

Never mind, back to the book, I'm in a final fix up and edit phase, as well as a couple of projects needing polish ready to go onto a support site I still have to get up and running....hmmm better get off here and back to it.


Friday, 17 March 2017

Dentists are not fun

So back to the dentist to get the root canal filled, fortunatly no more pain, and not even a jab this time the root was finally dead. The process was for more methodical and time consuming than I remember from my 2 previous root canals, lots more equipment involved for a start, and I know that becuase ever single piece of it was listed in my bill.

520 euros........and thats not counting the 200 odd from last month.

sheez thankfully I have insurance, and managed to work out how to get them to pay up, or at least  how to send it to them, I  am now awaiting them paying up. but seriously, 2.5 hours work in total, does not come to 700+ euros, I mean really.


Sunday, 12 March 2017

Not so bad.

Phew, the cough has not taken major hold, I stayed off work for a couple of days, and slept as much as possible, docs wern't much good I will never understand this lack of AB's to patients, but I  suppose its fair that by the time I went I was indeed on the mend.

I have been doing masses of technical work on the book projects, lighitng is something I've never really done at a low level, so its been quite fun to re-connect with all that old theory I kinda knew, and now have reworked in my head. The Pi is surprising me every day with what it can, and of course what it cannot do.

Still got a lot of coding to do though and am working flat out to get it up and running and documented in the book.

The publishers extra time is taking a bit of pressure off me, but I still worry about the page count, its going to be massive before I can do the big edit.

I also have to be careful I dont' turn nocternal, I do soooooo much more work in the evenings, which quickly turns into the late nights, then early hours, then mornings..Going to bed at 9am is not a good plan when I have to be back to work tomorrow.....

I'll get some rum, that'll cure it.


Wednesday, 8 March 2017

I must be the unhealthiest man in Europe

A minor cold...not even a flu, certainly not manflu, it barely even gave me a runny nose and aside from a sexy croak to the voice it didn't bother me at all. I manly ignored it an carried on with my daily grind.

Of course now its ending, its big brother the chest infection has come along...with all the full might and fury of the last chest infection I had. 3 days so far of coughing getting worse and worse each evening...this evening being especially unpleasant.

WTF! how come I keep getting these...I've had to cancel a lecture tomorrow, no way I'd get through it as the sexy voice is now breaking up and the cough is pretty much constant.

I'm going straight to the docs this time though, there is no way I'm going through another 6 weeks of this crap.

He's giving me AB's and thats the end of the debate.


Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Strange work habits

Im not and never have been someone who adheres to a normal work/life/sleep balance. I have always enjoyed working at night, I seem to have a lot more focus and intent when working in the small hours.
Of course the side effet is that after a few days of such efforts I turn nocturnal, Though there are some strange exceptions like now.. I worked late the other day/night, but had to get up while still am,  and the result was I was knackered all next day, and succumbed to an early night last  night at 9-30. only to wake up around 10 and then not get back to sleep...So I basically snoozed for 30 mins despite beign drop dead exhusted enough to go to bed so early.

After atempting to drop off by watching some TV I eventually realised I was awake and time to get up. I did a mass of great work, went to bed aroudn up at 9


need to have a power nap now.


Sunday, 26 February 2017

Toothache still there...

So after the root canal work nearly 2 weeks ago, I am still in pain, clearly the nerve is still will have to call and get a rapid appointment for more fun torture in the chair...not something I ever want to have to do again.

Its carnival time too, so not even sure the dentist will be around to do anything.

grrrr this is genuinely annoying, my worst dentist expereince just keeps getting worse.

Also my head is exploding with work, been finishing up the book with some of the more intricate and fun parts of programming,  which has meant pushing my knowledge of things I don't normally spend a lot of time with, such as model loaders and fancy lighting systems.

In one sense its fun, I am fully aware of the theory and practice of lights and shadows in a rendering system, but its not actually all that often that I have to code it, most of the time I'm using libs or firmware that really smart people write,  and this indeed is the 1st time I've had to code it on a raspberry in OGLES2.0. With interesting levels of success.

The much much slower hardware than I am used to has forced me to look for simple and clever systems to do what a PC/PS4 does with no effort at all and considerably complexity.

But as hard as it is, its actually great fun, there's no real challenge sometimes in coding a PS4, or even a Wii,U, the hardware can more than cope with my bad shader design. With the Pi, any shader with more than 10 lines in it is going to struggle. Its quite fun really, more like the old days when eeking out ever cycle mattered.

I'll post a few pics soon, of a fully lit scene with lights and animated models, I have all the separate parts working...getting them all working together though is the challenge.


Carnival, no thanks!

The southern parts of NL are currently in the grip of fancy dress salesmen and oompa music musicians, Its the closest thing to hell on earth I can imagine.

Yes Carnival is here, but I'm not getting involved, I've done it a couple of times but I guess I'm just not that into getting drunk until you fall over then get carried home by strangers and taken advantage of.

The Dutch can have their fun, as much as I want to be Dutch this is one thing I can do without, well two if you count the never ending obsession with sandwiches.

I shall be staying at home, working on my book and other projects, maybe even taking a trip to Ikea.....I need to add a couple of layers to my book case.

After losing all my writing momentum when I was ill, I seem to be back in full flow, got lots done the last couple of weeks and been starting to write it all down. Its been nice to finally see some animated models on my Pi. Next up is shadows....wish me luck :D

Not going to make my end of Feb deadline, but if I can keep up this pace I won't be far away from it.

The book is going to be finished in the next couple of weeks, or I will........there's a worrying thought.

off to bed now, as I contemplate how to optimize my frame rates...programmers..we never stop thinking about our frame rates.


Saturday, 18 February 2017

tooth no hurty now

well still a tiny niggle but I just ate a small pack of pringles with no issue, 1st "crunchy" food I've had in day. I've been sucking down pasta the last few days, so its nice to be able to bite.

looks like things will be back to normal, aside from the wobbly front tooth I have to stimulate the gum around....
Can' wait to eat a proper meal tomorro


Wednesday, 15 February 2017

That is an inhuman level of pain

I''ve been in the dentist chair many times, had several fillings, a couple of root canals, and some incredible agony from the evil hygenists of the world

But today, I had the worst experience ever ever ever in a dentist chair, root canal work, 1st dose of local froze the gum, but I felt the drill, and boy did I fell it when it went to the nerve...cue dentist decision to inject the nerve itslef.

ermm I can honestly say that was the worst suggestion ever, don't ever let a dentist do that to you, she only got ot touch the nerve and I was screaming pain. so more local, and 2nd attempt...same result

4 injections of local in total and a decision to wait 20 mins...and finally it was done...

So I don't undertand what kind of weak assed shit local she was using but clearly it was not enough..

In all those times in the dentist chair I've never really experience pain....

To think some torture techniques are based on this....I'll admit to anything under that and I only managed to take about 4 bursts of less than a second...

Incredible, I was sweating and shaking in teh waiting room...scared to go back in.

Currently now avoiding biting down but that will settle in a day or 2, thankfully I have some good painkillers here....and booze...booze and painkillers for the pain...the booze.....medicinal.


Sunday, 12 February 2017

Cosy buttocks

Really liking my new chair, still not quite got the grooves of my butt cheeks molded in, that'll take a year or 2 but its nice for now.

Been incredibly busy both at work and at ...errm work, of the book type.  Getting a new project set up for students to work on the Raspberry Pi, has been incredibly fun, though not had massive time to really get into it and have misjudged the availabilty of some models I want them to use. But they will hopefully have a fun 1st week getting a few cubes and a model up and running on the 50machines I persuade the school to buy (I must remember to buy shares!!)
They are excited about it too, so this will be fun to see how well they progress.

I'm not using much of the book code for this, aside from a simple framework I've cut down from my cubes demo, so they will hopefully manage to get things worked out themselves and I can observe what they get stuck on and maybe change a few things.

I'm almost certain a few of them will surprise me with something incredibly clever and insightful into getting even more out of the Pi, I'll surely learn from them as much as they will learn a bit from me.

Personal life is looking up, I am talking to someone nice, again online, I did get bitten a bit with the last one I met in November, but you don't get anywhere if you don't try. And dating in real life is just not too practical at the moment. I am hopeful though that this lovely lady is going to  restore my faith in people. We're going to arrange to meet soon and see where it goes.

Harvey is getting quite deaf I've noticed, he's not waking up the minute I walk in now, and if he wanders too far from me on his walks he does not respond, coupled with his failing eyesight, he's turning into a rather lovely old man, still thinks hes a puppy, but he is avoiding going upstairs now, since he tends to fall down :D.

I also lost a filling before Christmas, and becuase of the illness and then the pressure of catching up, I left the dentist a little too late....finally got to see them, and, sigh,  root canal is booked for March 16...gulp, also had the usual experience with the dental hygenist, better known as Vlad the Gum I have a very loose incisor, which I now have to ensure horrible extensive clearning in  the hope the gum can be stimulated to regrow (I've had receeding gums for 30 years) and save it..grrrr I hate dentists, I never used to but the whole cancer thing left me utterly  fed up with being prodded and poked...oh well I guess I pay for the insurance so I better use it.

The book is slowly picking up speed again, I ground to a massive halt when I was ill, and the momentum has been utterly destroyed, but its picking up, I honestly don't see me making the end of the month deadline (which I think is the last friendly extension I am going to get) but I don't think I'll be too far away, maybe another couple of weeks over. I have a week off coming up on the 27th and I will be turning off the internet and just working none stop till its done.

And on that note, time for this short break to end and for me to walk Harvey and get back up stairs to imprint my butt cheeks and impregnate some flatulance into it.


Thursday, 2 February 2017

Ah think am a back babeeee

A few days of doing small tasks, but getting them done and I am finally starting to feel like I can take on some work and get it done.

Now, somehow I have to squeeze 2-3 months work I should have done in  Dec and Jan into 28 days.....going to be tight.


Sunday, 29 January 2017

The cushion didn't work out

despite being a fat bugger, there's not a lot of padding on my butt cheeks (I still have a cute tuche), and the cushion went a bit hard after an I went to Makro to take advantage of ther 25% discount weekend.,

Image may contain: people sitting and indoor

its butt is comfy again... now what else can I do to avoid work?


Feeling better take 2

Ok, trying again, the little relapse only lasted 48hrs, and have been safe and warm at home, finally making a start on catching up on all the lost work.

My only issue now seems to be absurd sleeping habits, like tonight, after about 4 hours of coding,  I went to have a little lie down at 8pm as I was feeling tried, and figured a 30 mins snooze would not hurt.

I keep forgetting that snoozing when you live alone with no one to give you a nudge in 30 mins isn't a great idea.

So 4am, I am awake and wondering what to do with the early morning.

Work of course..But at least I am starting to get back into a flow, very slowly, but a few pages added to the book, and a 3D project starting to make sense.

Only one thing is bothering me...I really am starting to dislike my office chair, its one of those mesh chairs, solid enough but for the time I spend sitting in it, it does not feel nice..I don't get the sense that its making me want to sit for 8+ hours.

I was in Makro today and tried out a really awesome leather (maybe fake) chair...but at 150 ex vat, its a lot of cash.......

am I just making excuses? or will a couple of cushions solve the problem...time to get a couple of cushions and see...

....time passes

hmm cushion works quite well, think I just needed by bum raised a couple of inches higher than the chair could do.


Thursday, 26 January 2017

I spoke too soon

3 glorious days with no coughing fits, ended with a coughing fit, and another and another and...

fuckkkk me.,...

working from home today, staying as warm and cosy as possible, dog walks not withstanding and hoping its just a small relapse.

seriously fed up now.


Wednesday, 25 January 2017

I think its over..

3 days with no major cough fits, and I am starting to regain some energy...I think it over, the odd cleansing cough aside...

That... was....fucking....terrible

A month, a whole month and a few days,  lost to being ill, is it age that causes that? I eat and live quite healthy, a little overweight sure, but ...a month to get over a flu and chest infection!!.

horrible, horrible time, and its cost me so much work, I did almost nothing on the book, as my brain didn't connect to my fingers, missed several rehearsals with both bands, in fact...this will tell you how bad it was, I barely even touched a guitar....something I normally do every day, but there were days when I just had no desire.

I've lost so much momentum on the book, but other things have to come into focus now, I got behind on student feedback, and on some of my smaller projects. Also there's no food in the house, aside from a couple of weeks of freezer lottery, I haven't had a major shopping spree for provisons and tinned/dry goods, has to be done soon.

Time to try to get into the zone again...if I can. Start small, do little things to completion and gather up a head of steam\

Watch out world, I'm coming back.......maybe


Sunday, 22 January 2017

is it over?

I had THE worst fit of coughing ever yesterday for about 20 mins laying down on the couch, it was horrible, but since then it seems to have died down at last...not totally gone, still the odd little clearing cough, but...I think...maybe...another day and it will be gone.

fingers crossed


Friday, 20 January 2017

oh c'mon

yup, still sick, still no mojo, still not able to get any real work done.

Going to try to do some codeing this weekend, don't care what, just got to push things throw and get some momentum going, I have a 3D Pi project to write to test that it can be doen for students, it also forms an important chapter in the book so if I can get that done a lot of the last pieces of the book will fall into place.

if...if I can stop coughing all day and collapsing with exhaustion at silly o'clock.


Saturday, 14 January 2017

Missing the mojo

Even though I am finally on the mend, though still being plagued by coughing fits when I get a bit tired, I am not in a good mental place. Cloudy thinking and a total lack of motivation to work are just not pushing me forward at all.
I've still got shit loads to do with the book, some serious coding to get done and no matter how long I  sit at my screens I just have nothing coming from the brain to the fingers.

I need to find a way to push through this barrier, its really quite serious, I've had blocks like this in the past but never really for this long. I need to just get something done to clear the block, lol its like mental constipation, once I get the block shifted I hope the rest will come through a bit easier :D


Friday, 6 January 2017

still sick

I know, I should have gone to the doctors, but frankly getting out of bed  has been a massive effort most days, never mind calling before 9 so I've jsut been resting and chilling as much as possible,  dog walks in the cold not being too helpful.

I am improving, very slowly, the odd coughing fit aside I am aware of a a slight improvment every day, but wow am I this rate my Monday I will be almost fit...jsut in time to start work



Sunday, 1 January 2017

ok 2017, lets see if you can do a bit better

Here we go, another new start, 2016 was a horrible horrible year,so many deaths of childhood heroes.

And on a personal level so many mistakes and cock ups, but also good things, the book is almost done...(please be this month, please be this month)

I think this was the 1st time ever I went to bed sober...totally 100% sober.. Not sure I've done that since I  was 12. The tail end of a chest infecgtion from the Christmas flu,  and a poorly judged drinking session with Dutch Giant Jelmer who matched me drink for drink a few days after christmas, have put me right off booze for now.

But despite an early drink free night, I slept terribly, the fireworks went on till well after 3am, and poor Harvey was very stressed out by every single boom and bang.
Finall I dropped off, only to wake up at 6 and then 9-30 back to bed.

but I got up at 2, feeling a bit rough, and the cough confirms the infection is still there...I'll give it a couple more days then go see the doc again. He'll be happy to see me I'm sure.