Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Dutch Hospitals...not all fun

Yes sadly I had cause to find out for myself what the Dutch medical system is like (actually very good with one or 2 minor issues). On Monday night I ermmm...how do I put this.I...sneezed...yeah that was all. I sneezed again.

And like last month something popped/gaveway/snapped/ call it what you will. But the resulting pain...oh boy!. Frankly I can't describe it here. It was incredible, wave upon wave of pain that no matter what I did I could not get any relief. So eventually I had to call an ambulance to come take me to hospital.

Given the situation. Extreme pain in back behind lower ribs, they of course diagnosed kidney stones....even though I did make the point I had triggered this with a sneeze. And after several hours of waiting for tests to come back they discovered....I didn't have kidney stones..um er yeah well.

In the meantime, I'm lay on a hospital trolly, screaming in agony every 15-30secs or so as another wave of agony swept over me, much to the amusment/discomfort of my collegues from work who'd decended on the ER to make sure I was ok.

Finally though I got a jab that started to have an impact on the pain, though it didn't completly mask it, and they decided to admit me for obs. Still checking out the kidney thing of course, but then deciding to focus on lungs.

Now one thing that did worry me, was on the 1st night, I had a drip in and was snoozing away under the fuzzy wuzzy influence of the painkiller jab in my leg. When I was woken up to ask why I'd not filled the bottle...they like to keep track of how much goes in and out y'see.

Now...is it just me, or is that rather a silly question...I've not filled the bottle because I've been sleeping I replied. I managed to get out of the habit of urinating when I sleep some years ago.
So I politely declined her request to fill the bottle there and then as I had some important drug induced sleeping to do and really didn't feel the need to pee into a plastic bottle.
Ah no, y'see, bad move, never stand between a nurse and her desire to collect urine. She was worried that I might be retaining fluid and if I didn't pee I might need a cathater.
Now..like most men, the idea of having a tube, lubricated or not, shoved down my knob, by a nurse/doctor, pretty or not, while still awake and aware of said tube being inserted, is not a pleasent one (for those who do find it pleasent, I think there's somewhere in Amsterdam that will cater to this). So I decided maybe I should have a go at filling the bottle.
But my efforts, good as I thought they were, were apparently not enough, and some ultrasound machine was wheeled to my bed to measure how much I still had in my bladder. Quite a lot apparently and she was hell bent on sorting out this cathater.....indeed her desire to have this thing inserted was matched only by my desire not to have it inserted. There was nothing at all wrong with my bladder control and I didn't plan on staying there any longer than I had to, which the cathater would have meant at least 24 hours. Besides, walking around with a wee bag hanging from a drip stand is not a good look for me, not with boxers.

She got a doctor to come and convince me that it should be done, and it was hospital policy if you had more than 500ml in your bladder (since I was peeing that much that seemed a bit borderline to me) she also was told, politely, thanks but no, I'll be fine an will happily continue to fill the bottle when I'd done with my important sleeping. She gave me an hour to produce the urine or else....hmmmm

Fortunately within the hour I did need to go, and also there was a change of nursing staff. This one did not haver a urine fetish I'm happy to say and concluded that the 300ml or so in my bladder was well within acceptable limits,
I just wonder how many people there are getting cathaters fitted for no reason other than its standard policy if you have 500ml or mor of urine in your bladder....

Anyway 2 nights later, and many more jabs and fuzzy wuzzy sleeping and the spasms eased and I was allowed to go home.
The final diagnosis, I've ruptured a muscle in the intercostle rib area. Sounds pretty minor when all said and done but the degree of pain I was in needed treatment so I guess I did the right thing.

Taking a few days off work to relax though.

Ahthankyew

2 comments:

Neil Rennison said...

Brian you crack me up! :)

Hope you're feeling a might better chap.

Boring old Fart said...

yes fine but sore, got a weeks worth of nice painkillers to see me through.