fuck this is hard

Been keeping myself busy to avoid thinking about things, I clean when I'm upset...I'v done a lot of cleaning. Also went to school band practice which was nice and diverting but coming home an empty silent house.....boom.
Coming into the house, and no greeting, or snoring, or mess to clean....I really can't explain how much I miss that, it comes in waves of incredible sadness. Can't quite get my head around how much the grief is hitting me. I've lost a few human friends this year, and been deeply affected by that, I just didn't expect to have the same intense feelings for Harvey, but he was indeed my dearest and closest friend and I miss him.

Harvey's ashes will be available early next week....not sure exactly what I am going to do, keep them in an urn or scatter them around my backyard tree....can't decide, there's no rush.


Ahthankyew