Sunday 7 June 2009

Anal Bleaching....why?

So I've just had my first ever experience of anal bleaching. It wasn't intentional I hasten to add, I'm not trying to entice any of my gay friends with my nicely lightend ring piece thanks..

No this is instead a sad tale of mis-identification.....y'know those wet wipes..which MEN (thats men in capitals and pronounced with a low loud voice.) never use. But that women (no capitals) always tend to buy and put on the shelf so they can keep their bits smelling nice...for no earthly reason I can imagine!!!!!

Well... After a particularly unpleasant toilet experience I'm giving the old backside a good rubbing with the dry soft strong and very long (or at least Dutch equivalent) paper and not getting to the clear state (MEN..you know what I'm talking about).

So rather than risk some skiddies on the clean undies (only a week old this side out, after all) I thought I'd have a go with the old wet wipes. And remove one of the nice man sized, sorry MAN sized, thick moist towelettes from the nice blue wrapper on the shelf.

Ah yes that's the stuff, before I know it, the old sphincter is shiny and new....and come to think of it stinging a bit. Hmmm...odd, but not to worry, maybe it was the strange but suitably Man-ly pine freshness that was just a bit too fresh, but as I'm washing my hands I'm starting to notice the stinging levels are rising a little....we're now at mild nipping.

Then I happen to glance to my left and spot a small green packet of wet wipe towels..

Odd thinks I (I'm good at noticing odd things me...after the fact), two sets of towels...

This one with nice pretty pics of flowers and birds and stuff, and on the other side...

Bum now starting to burn a bit...

On the other side...

Blue packet, with nice pictures of ..toilet seats and rubber gloves...oh..and also a little, irritant symbol.

hmmm better look at this a bit closer, bum now officially burning...

Sure enough..it wasn't a wet wipe...it was a disposable hygenic toilet bowl cleaning towlette, cunningly disguised as a wet wipe.

Thats it, trousers and pants down, running tap...you get the picture..

So dear reader, there are 2 things of note to consider here.

MEN, or even men, don't confuse wetwipes with disposable hygenic toilet bowl cleaning towlette..no matter how similar they look.

Women, don't put the disposable hygenic toilet bowl cleaning wipes where they might get confused with wet wipes...
And no...reading the packet is not an option here...

When there's a risk of skidmarks and reasonable unsoiled undies, MEN just want to get the job done, we have no time for reading the instructions.

I haven't checked if the bleaching as produced a nice result....lets just leave that little mystery for now.








Ahthankyew

2 comments:

Colin McNulty said...

So really you don't know if there was any bleaching effect at all then? That's just false advertising that is.

Boring old Fart said...

well I could do some acrobatics with a couple of mirrors to check...but...somehow I won't....thanks