Thursday, 12 March 2009

Another sad day

Yesterday at school we heard some extremely sad news. One of my 1st year students, Ben Tilma, committed suicide, alone in his *home in Breda, he just turned 19 in January.

Theres really not much more to say is there, when someone so very young and full of promise decides to take their life it just leaves you numb.

Apparently Ben had suffered from bouts of depression at several points in his life and it would seem that again he was deeply troubled.
What makes this even sadder is that not one member of staff or his friends and fellow students had the slightest inkling that he was feeling this way.

To all of us he was a bright happy fun student, good at his studies, mixed well with friends and never gave anyone cause to worry. His last few Internet posts to game sites gave no indication of his pain, and indeed he was apparently very happy and enjoying his time at IGAD.

As someone who has suffered from depression, (I first started this blog when I came out of a period of depression and wanted to keep a journal of sorts)I kinda know the deal here, you put on a mask for others and kid yourself that you're fine, but really you're not. And left unchecked you start to see drastic solutions to what are normally pretty mundane problems.

There only 2 things I want to say about this;
1st of course my sincere condolences to his family and friends for their loss.

And 2nd as I said way back when I started this blog. Depression is an illness you can't deal with alone. Get help. Please...get help. It can be overcome.


*edit I've since learned it was not at his home, but thats a detail that does not detract from the sadness of the facts.


Arno Matser said...

Most of the facts that are in this Blog are true about what he did and he felt in the past. But his depression wasn't the reason he commited suicide. I (Arno from Scouting Mondriaan in Amersfoort, where Ben still IS a member in our hearts & group fellow in Dungeons and Dragons) heared (in big lines) from F. Tilma about what he wrote in his final letter. And there wasn't not a single word about a Depression he had. So don't jump to conclusions when you know about his past.


A. Matser
Daddy @ Jongerentak
Scouting Mondriaan

Boring old Fart said...

Hello Arno

Thank you for this, I only recently discovered that there was a note and I don't know the contents at this time. I can only tell you that we at IGAD were told that depression was a factor in his suicide, so I was not jumping to conclusions simply re-stating the information given to me at the time which I understand came from his parents.
Also its not jumping to conclusions to say that you don't kill yourself when you are in a good state of mind. Ben's reasons may still be a little unclear (as most suicides are) but depression had to play a major part in making such a decision did it not?

As time goes forward we will perhaps learn more of why this happened, and it will help us all to understand better how to prevent such sad losses in future,

Anonymous said...

Rest in Peace