hearing is...almost back

Tinitus has not gone away sadly,  I hope it does, hearing is coming back though, maybe 70-80% what it should be but a big improvment on 0-10%. I can hear both sides of my headphones again which is a big relief. And my guitar sounds like a guitar again which is even more of a relief.


Ahthankyew

bloody earwax

Dammit, I have too much wax in my ear and its clogged it up, so I'm effectively deaf in my right ear, which is deeply irritating, added to that the tinitus that causes and I'm officially going crazy.

Tried all kinds of things, ear wax disolving fluid, suction, nose holding swallow/pumping even orderd some corkscrew ear wax digging things to clear it out...arrghhh

Tried to play some guitar and was really fruestrated by my inability to really hear, even with one ear it just sounds horrible, and weak. I think I've mentioned my bandmate Jelmer 1 who is deaf in one ear...I really understand how frustrating it is for him. Mine should be a temporary thing but he has o deal with it all the time. I have a much better appreciation for his issues.


Ahthankyew

I just cant fathom the levels of stupidity

I've said this before, but the levels of stupidity, on Social Media are staggering, and I do mean stupidity, uttter utter mouth breathing, my name is Mr Gumby stupidity.

This isn't opinion, or new "woke" thinking, its just stupidity, a lack of basic understanding of the most basic science that should have been taught in school, social and medical concepts, replaced instead with meme's and confirmation bias from the internet.

It matters not how idiotic your view is, if you state it on the internet, you'll get a dozen people following you and spreading it....and so it quickly gains speed.

Anti vaxx, flat earth, illuninati, 911 truthers, lizard men, covid19 hoax, chemtrails, 5g mind control, Bill Gates bio tracking vaccines,  the works....its utterly amazing.. It dosn't take more than a moments rational thought to go, wait, what? huh, Do you actually understand science, to see the crazy in it?
But its easier to believe a man who says Covid 19 is a hoax because it forces you to stay in to make you compliant and miserable, than consider the fact that same man thinks the queen of England is literally a negative energy feeding lizard..... no I mean it. People BELIEVE this shit??

And whats worse, when it starts to gain some utterly unjustifed momentum it gets picked up by minor celebs who endorse it to their adoring fans, and then to top it all of, some defrocked doctor or other disreputable and discredited scientist will see a chance to sell a book and get on telly to make it a cause celebre and have smart people questioning if they might have a point?

Its fucking insane, it really is.

Ahthankyew

ohhhhh low interest rates is good

I don't always understand the Dutch mortgage system, its beyond me a bit really, since I had to buy the house again when Bina went, it was bloody expensive and has remained so, but I get to reset the intereste rate every so often. last time was 5 years ago and it saved me a couple of hundred, that was back when interest rates were around 2-4% and since the mortgage itself was taken out at about 7 or 8% I save a lot. Dropping down a good 300pm.

Well its that time again, 5 years later I get another chance to change and with interest rates currently being....pretty much 0, I was offered very low rates and chance to lock them in for 10,12,20 years

tempting to go the minimum for the 20years, but I locked in a middle 10 year option they provided, because when all said and done its an endowment based system, so if I don't have enough cash in the pot when its time to cash in, I have to sell up or fork out.

Even so, with the low rates, I'm going to be a whopping 250 euros a month better off... thats awesome....might reduce the credit card debt a bit for a year or 2 with that.

Cant' recall if recessions raise or lower interest rate though, becuase when the ecomomy dies after corona, its going to be uncertain times so that 250 a month will help put some food on the take or take the sting out of any other debts I aquire to stay alive.


Ahthankyew

Its nice when they start to get somewhere

My students are doing their Block C programming assignment which is of course to make a game on RPi

Its an interesting block as it really challenges them, doing something they may never do again but that can produce some really interesting results and show them some of the challenges and skills they have to master. 
Its nice when they start to click and this is a really nice short demo from one student, who's not quite as far ahead as the others but has really taken the time to make a nice looking demo from the start


Their task is to create a solar system and fly around it to reach a space station they have to dock with , then transition to an FPS view. There's a bit of z-fighting on the spacestation to investigate but he's doing really well. Done on a Raspberry Pi3B+ with no overclocking, and only using C++/OpenGLES2.0, no engines of any kind.

Ahthankyew

ohhh thats why there's no input to the grid

I get a notice from the electric company every month, and the last couple I noticed there was not the usual 6 or 7 (winter months) euros reduction in my usage....

I just went up the the roof to clean my panels and found this.





ohhhhh now it makes sense...must have got blown over during one of the big stroms in the last couple of months. Pretty amazed and lucky they never got blown over onto someones head...

They are all ok though, the frames are a bit bent, so not too hard to fix..


Set up them up roughly for now, will scrub them down and see if I can find some bolts to lock the frame with.. Plugged them in and got green lights on the converters, so looks like we're ok...should get some income over the summer, it tends to jump up to 30-40 a month in peak sunshine.



Ahthankyew

it just gets worse...but there's always a bright side, then it gets worse again

Working from home is pretty neat, its hard though, really hard, lots of things to keep up, hard to prep stuff becuase of students asking for help and a sense of ....stress I think. but its ok

NL took another step toward full lockdown today, no gatherings above 3 people and possible fines for people not keeping 1.5m apart its serious now, then UK has also issued slightly more severe advice,
basically don't go out.

In other news...my love life is taking a strange turn.

I've been dating a lovely lady for the last month or so, its early days but she's going to move in with me during the lock down, so I'm picking her up tomorrow. She house shares with a friend who's not taking the lock down seriously so she's stressed out. We're getting prepared for a very interesting getting to know each other phase while making every effort to stay safe. Under normal circumstances this is too soon, and god knows I'm wary of making another daft mistake, but, these are far from normal, so we'll see how this pans out, I might end up with another lodger in the spare room, but at least it will be someone to chat to in the evening.

I worry about my mum, she's a miserable auld bag though, which might actually save her life as no one wants to visit  (joke mum)... but she's old, so so so old...........(you are)... and not in good health so I worry, but she's pretty good at isolating herself and should be able to cope better than  most with the lockdown.

Interesting times for us all, my students are also stressed out, some of them are far from home and unable to go home, we need to try to help them stay on track and get through this..

Stay safe eveyone, stay home, for fuck stack stay home

Ahthankyew

Getting a bit paranoid

Im sure I'm not alone in this, but I am feeling genuinely afraid. Corona is escalating at an alarming rate and even though I have almost no contact with the outside world. I can't wrap myself in plastic. I had to let in a boiler repair man on Friday and I got a parcel delivered, and at least once a week I will need to pop to the shop for fresh fruit and veg...though I am investigating AH's delivery systems.

Even with such limited contact, its only a matter of time before I get it, then its a gamble if I'm going to die or not.... actually DIE...this is a scary scary situation.

I've never been afraid of the colds, chest infections even the occasional flu which has really laid me low, at no time did I ever fear for my life.

The lack of respect people are giving to the lock down is only going to make things worse in the long term, we all need to stay home, stay away from people for at least a couple of weeks. It won't stop us getting it, but we might have more hospital beds available if we need them if we can spread it out.

Phew, interesting times, scary times, re-defining times. We have to wait and see how this plays out.



Ahthankyew

Isolation,...well thats not too bad

Apart from a short trip to a very empty store to get milk and veg, I've been in isolation along with the rest of NL all week

We've pretty much got the working at home thing sorted now, its hard work, more time consuming than you might exept and much more tiring, but I'm getting into it now.

Not sure I can keep this up for 3-4-5 however many weeks though, but also have to be very aware Im not in the best of fitness and have a bit of a reduced lymphatic system so if I'm going to get it, I don't want to get left on a trolly in a corridor...

I've got enough food and booze, and the all important bog roll (I still have plenty from my last 2 for 1 buy befoe the madness) . I've got neflex and Prime all set up ready, and KPN have made extra film channels available for free during the lockdown, so I think I should be able to entertain myself.



Ahthankyew

Dis town, is coming like a ghost town

Went to Rotterdam yesterday, after being cooped up with the cold for the week, it was nice to get out, even though my (now very old) cough had people starting at me,  but man, I've never ever seen Rotterdam so empty, at lunchtime it was just totally sparse...it got a little busier as the day went on but the lock down is certainly taking shape

Today walking down to the station Breda was an equally sparce place, I don't think I have ever seen the station so empty, even on a Sunday.

The lockdown is set to get much stricter too, cafe's are being urged to close and only a matter of time before shops and all offices do to.

Home delivery curry isn't such a bad idea now is it??


Ahthankyew

Lockdown in 3,2.....

Well Corona is having quite an impact. I've been working from home this week since I still have a cough since christmas, so not corona, but then I get a mild cold and people start stressing out when I sneeze.. So following works guidence I self isolated and worked from home all week.. Not too bad actually I got a lot done, with no distractions and did my first ever livestream lecture. 2 in fact, 2nd one had some issues but it did work out.

But now BUAS is closing the campus to students and all class based teaching is on hold, we're shifting to online only for at least 2 weeks. Its only a matter of time before the Netherlands goes into full lockdown.

Very interesting times, I've never known anything like this, the sense of panic and fear is very genuine. We're pretty sure our next band gig is going to be canned as all public gathers are being banned. I may not leave the house for weeks.....though I do need milk in my coffee, and maybe some fresh veg.....

interesting times indeed.


Ahthankyew

oh great

Im sick, just a little bit, don't panic, (I'm not panicking, are you panicking?) pretty sure its just a cold again, rather than the dreaded CV
But the advice from work is to stay home and/or work from home if you have any cold/flu symptoms and clearly I have at the moment

if it gets worse, I'll go to the docs....or die.....watch this space.


Ahthankyew

awww bugger y'all

I was all set to go to San Fransisco on the 13th March to attend GDC and meet up with lots of old friends and new contacts. It was going to be a good experience and I was buzzing.

but its been "postponed" though in truth that means cancelled, meh, I guess its a sensible move, the Corona virus is currently high on everyones fear list and thats caused a lot of the main exhibitors to pull out, so we have to wait till the danger passes and see what happens.

I really was looking forward to it, so many old friends lined up, but its understandable..,...disappointing, but understandable.


Ahthankyew

memories

I was doing what you're supposed to do when you keep blogs/diaries and looking back on some of my earlier posts, trying to remember some specific dates for things, but falling into a rabbit hole of memories.

Its interesting how things change you, make you angry or happy or sad at the time, and you look back with a certain degree of meh...

Not for everything though, I still feel an bit of inner rage at the way some people have treated me, also a sense of wtf was I thinking on others and the loss of some lovley people through death or neglect...but over time, even the biggest heartaches and cock ups just become memories, and today I need to focus on the fact I'm turning into a fat grumpy old man.

Probably won't be a problem in 4 years from now though.

Ahthankyew

finally got this worked out, well no, not really!!

Really just posting this here so I can link it to my forums, but this is an interesting thing. Its a model I downloaded from Turbo squid with the full intention of including it as a usable model in my book examples.

Sadly I just wasn't able to get it to render properly at the time and instead I used a simpler model of a lamborghini, which is a shame.
I recently went back to it though and tinkered about a bit and managed to get it to render.

Though not quite perfect yet, I have not done any normal or bump mapping on it, but thats something I will play with, also the transparency has been hard coded into it, isolating the canopy section and rendering it with a blue tinge....still its a good step forward, and will serve as a good example for a short lesson in how to do transparency in rendering...when I get it finished.

This week is carnival week, so I'm about to have a well earned rest (didnt you just have christmas...yes,, and I need a rest again), and finally putting in the last 40 hours needed for the colecovision project, it has to go.

I really do like this model though, its a shame it didn't go in the book, its very Batman like, might be quite cool if I made it black and matt

Ahthankyew

No longer a European.

Well brexit happened, the single most stupid, pointless, wasteful,idiotic, misguided and unneccessery piece of political bullshit on record.

Of course today I woke up nothing has changed, apart from the fact the letter I got from the Dutch government making it clear that at some point I will need to apply for a residency permit, which, though unlikely, could be refused. The sun rose (kinda) and the day continued. It will continue, for me, but I'll have to watch the UK slowly sink into degredation and waste as it refuses to accept that its just jumped off a political and economic cliff.

I can't honestly express in words, other than a page full of swear words and rants at the stupidity of people who embraced this, how angry and despairing this nonsense makes me.

I have been hoping that sense would prevail or that some kind offer from the Dutch government to give us citizenship would happen. It hasn't.  I've been explaining to people for 3 years why all their reasons are false, lies, or outright ignorance, the lure of blue passports and no more nameless beaurocracts was just too strong. I give up.

The UK will be crowing for about 6 months until 1 by 1 the benefits they enjoy suddenly are no longer there, and the twats who engineered this mess will find it harder and harder to blame the EU for their incompetance (or will they, who knows, I'm overestimating the voters intelligence I suspect). As prices rise and choices fall, and there's no one left to blame, will they finally see sense and get rid of these chancers? Probably not, the reality is Brexit has exposed the utter gullability of people to believe any old bullshit papers and TV serve them and defend it with not one single thought about the harm they will do themselves.

I'd like to think one good thing is that Farage and his delinquent cronies are now out of a job, but fuckwits like them will be cashing in on this for years to come..I really hope, that in 20,30,40 years or so when this mistake is finally rectified, that they are still around to be fully punished for their misanthropy.

I can't really take it though, I refuse to be a second class citizen here, so even though I have been saying this for years, but kept putting it off. This year, I will apply for full Dutch citizenship, and in the process re-instate my full dutch name, Van Den Beuken... I'm done with petty UK mentality, it gives me nothing to be proud of.





Ahthankyew

New sounds....

We tried out our busking gear last night and were really really impressed by the range and depth of the sound we can now produce. The clarity of what we play is now much more evident and Rose's voice really comes out rich and full with some added reverb, which we of course get at gigs but never at rehearsals so nice to push that a bit more

Just a small example of how much cleaner the guitars sound here

We're still very much going to remain an acoustic trio, but it will be nice when we start to make use of some of the toys I have for different sounds and loops


Ahthankyew

Can't wait for that cushion

I'll give it a go when it arrives but I've been trying to work at my desk on this shit chair for a couple of days and just not comfy, with constant back age... So brought the big sigma chair down from upstairs and the difference is immense.

Hopefully can focus on some work now instead of constant fidgeting and excuses to go walk it off.


Ahthankyew

A-Busking we will go...

We've been trying really hard to reduce our dependancy on PA's and power systems, but the fact is even as an acoustic trio we do need to use some amplification to balance our sound, to deal with the fact we have 2 quiet male voices and a powerful female voice. Also Ed's playing style is much louder than my usual finger picking and twiddles style so I can get drowned out playing pure acoustic.

So Ed and I have both invested in some Roland Battery power amps, quite the bee's knees. On their own these solve 90% of the issues, but...

I wanted a little bit extra though since I like to use my TC VoiceLive3 unit for my guitar and vocal boosts when doing solo's and so on. Also I really would like to try to introduce a bit of looper fun into our set. But we can't do that without an easy to transport power system.

I've tried to find a few but honestly failed miserably as most units don't provide the 12v power the TC unit needs.
But I did have an awesome 5v unit, also designed to power some laptops and even boost a car battery if needed. But it didn't have a 12v out plug, only 5v and 15/16/19v..the 12v was limited to a jump cable system and no cable output which was a bit of a bummer...I felt for a while I'd just bought a really massive Iphone charger and it went in the drawer.

Fortunately I found a simple USB 5v > 12v gadget on line for pennies, which does exactly that.. takes 5vUSB and bumps it up to 12v. I was worried about ampage but its managing fine, been running for an hour now and still showing 5 bars on the power levels.  It looks like this will do fine.
I did also have to add a polarity swap as the TC has + center unlike every other unit under the sun :D but I had one lying around anyway.. Also pennies. It does get a bit warm, at the business end, so I'm ordering a few others as possible spares just in case but I think as long as it is in the open air it will be fine.

I now have a viable portable busking solution, with our 2 roland amps, (Ed has an AC33 I have a Street EX) and this little power unit to drive my main fx pedal..

Busking and lighter loads for small gigs...here we come

Ahthankyew

owww again...

I've pulled a muscle in my groin, it fucking hurts.. I've had a nasty cough for a couple of weeks since xmas, and during one particularly enjoyable lung expulsion I must have sat badly and pulled the muscle, didn't feel it at the time but am feeling it now for a few days.

Fuck its sore, not all the time though, just sometimes when I move or brush against something just above my left hip, it reminds me of what real pain is.

I genuinely was going to do a bit more excercise, and cycle to work etc now that we're back at our renovated offices within cycling distance, but until this heals up, no cycling..


Anywa, 2020, I'm not big on resolutions but for sure I'm going to try to make some fresh starts, 2019 was not a great year for me on many levels and the only way to avoid repeating that is to have a different approach, so some life changes have to be put into place. The Diet of course is back on..and I'll try to be a little more methodical in my work as well. So many things were allowed to slide as I drifted in and out of variosu illnesses and depressions. Time to get back on track and be a bit more single minded about doing things that need done.

So I made a list of the top ten reasons I procrastinate in an effort to overcome them.

1.




Ahthankyew