Back on the diet today, and the hunger pangs are strong with this one!!! But no eating till 5/6pm and then only high protien and a bit of rice.
Trip back was not as bad as the trip there, it has to be said, I packed a bit more carefully this time, taking some things on my guitar bag on my back and carrying the amp which was the heaviest thing, but pushed it on the case when I could. I did drop it a couple of times, when the wheels got stuck, and it got totally soaked coming home...not plugged it in to see if it still works.
A few minor war wounds from the week/trip, got mossie bites on arms and legs that are bloody painful. and will take a few more days to heal, in the meantime itching like crazy.
Pulled a muscle under my rib too I think...or its from my guitar rubbing under my ribs for 6 -7 hours a day..not sure, but its painful...no guitars on straps for a few days.
Pulled the instep on my left foot, aooohhhhhwwww that is sore, and needs a bit of a gentle rubbing.
Of course the dodgy old right knee packed up as well, so that'll need to be treated gently for a bit.
Strangest thing is the balls of both my big toes ache...like chilblanes, but it can't be that since the weather was rainy rather than cold....but hurts/itches with no noticible sign of swelling or bites...
ahh just have to be honest with myself, I'm getting old and broken down and pushing my body to strange unusual limits is just not such a good idea any more....next time I plan a long trip with baggage, rent a car. I'm sorting out my dutch license next week in anticipaton of that.
After negotiating the multiple stairs at Breda station which was in the midst of a 40days of rain for the flood (but I managed to get some milk from the late night AH) I found myself limping back into the house, sodden wet and in pain.
It was strange to walk into what is now a home for one. Bina had taken some furiture and a lot of the cupboard provisions, which I suspected. but the house felt totally different, despite also feeling familiar.
It was odd walking round the rooms to see what was gone and not...Jodies room has been cleared out totally....so guess she won't be visiting anytime soon....:( Kinda thought that from the lack of contact.
Upstairs the piano had gone, wasn't really expecting that, though I had bought it as a present for Jodie, I never really considered she would take it, not the least reason being the sheer weight of it, which almost killed me when it arrived. Left the old TV on the wall too.
Office is also cleared out...I think I'll continue to use it as an office and seperate my work computer activities from the fun computer activities.
Most telling was the bedroom of course...the 2 long standing frame wardrobes where her clothes used to be have gone, and a pile of old junk left on the chest of draws..including the photo of us both that was on the top of the landing...that was kinda upsetting. Don't quite see why it had to be taken down and put on a junk pile....I put it back on the wall, for now anyway.
It dosen't feel much like home at the moment...I guess I need a few days to take stock, buy a few things and make it feel like "my" home rather than the broken home it is now.
As much as I knew all this was happening, it still feels strange.....
Bina seems to be hell bent on painting me as some kind of weird control freak, posting on facebook that she's looking forward to not being taken for granted and being allowed to believe what she wants and only clearing up after herself
"Thanks everyone for your kind concern - I am looking forward to a new life...my own .place, my own space, freedom to be who I want to be, think and believe what I want to believe, not to be taken for granted and only be responsible for cleaning up my mess! Its a big change but I am a strong individual and am excited at new possibilities :-)"
Very odd, and very unpleasent thing to post, I told her so, and got defriended...well it certainly sounds like she's been living with some ignorant slob of a control freak...
Strange that I never met him, but I guess telling the world that she decided to leave because we had a row over her wanting to put an earthing sheet in our bed and that I was so angry about her absolute faith in utterly innefective alternative medicines that I actually shouted at her...Is kinda hard to get people to understand, as a cause to destroy a stable 12 year relationship! Easier to suggest that I'm a monster!
Ah well....I'm genuinely not going to get into blaming and name calling after this, I was surprised and hurt she made those comments, but it does make me realise even more that splitting was 100% the right thing to do.
I'm moving on, life is too short, the strangeness will pass, my friends are still there and new friends, new times and new experiences await.
Once I have the house the way I want it and get some time to adust to things, I will get on with enjoying my life..MY way...something I've not had the chance to do for quite some time....surprisingly.
Theres a minor complication or 2 in the mortgage transfer, some legal crap to do, and annoyingly I have to pay off all my current credit, including my card before the transfer can be done, so its going to be a few months before we can conclude the last of the legal stuff...just have to knuckle down and keep the drink, drugs and debauchery costs to a minimum for a few months till its sorted.....At least I'm not wasting a fortune on takeaway every day, something to thank the diet for.