Happy its not 2021 anymore

It was quite a year wasn't it, I don't think there was a lot to salvage from it, but Jirawan and I enjoyed the time together, I hope in 2022 I can finally take her out for a nice meal in Breda....once this lockdown ends.

But be positive Brian.... Happy New Year mum, hope its going to be good, we'll try to get over to you as soon as we can but too many restrictions at the moment.

So...2022...ok resolutions......hmmm I've done that before, but of course my weight is out of control, 103kg now... there's a downside to being married to a good cook... But ok going to try and drop 23kg and get down to 80....who knows.

My Raspberry project is coming to an end..well its starting to come to an end, aiming for Feb/March its been great to work on. Also the long long horror of the colecovision project might be finally getting resolved, Another z80 enthusiast has stepped in to help push it through as I failed to overcome  the near total codeblock I had on doing assembly, I even managed to write a few lines last night, that did...nothing, but at least I felt I did something. I hope it gets done this month and I can learn from it.. the block is very real, and most upsetting. I hoped that the Raspberry project would pull me through but its a quite different psychological impact, I just can't think in z80 any more....so sooner its done and out the sooner I can bury any efforts to do any more assembly.

Time to do some home shopping too, we need a new couch, and a new bed, and at some point new bathroom and kitchen. Finances will get a bit better in June once an ill advised loan is paid off, and I think we'll use that income to fund the kitchen, Jirawan will enjoy a kitchen with a bit more space and a proper oven. Sadly no gas though, as its being phased out in NL.. strange to think that electicity is cheaper... oh well, its a summer/autumn project.

I got another week off before we start work again, online for the rest of the block sadly but hopefully we get back to normal soon. The government says 14th Jan...fingers crossed...but...cases of Covid are still high....we'll see.. I'm planning a massive curry night to celebrate end of lockdown...hope we can do it, I'll start the cooking soon and freeze the curries.

Right, off to do some coding, a bit of Z80 if I can manage it....tots ziens.

Ahthankyew

ooh fancy that

I lost a few teeth last year due to the bone necrosis I have from my radiotherapy 10 years ago... Its ok I was warned... One of my teeth, my right lower canine, I actually pulled out myself, they just lost all the bone to support them, I lost 4 in total, no biggie... got some nice new falsies now.

The last few days though I was having some odd issues with a sore at the extraction site of that canine.. it seemed to be a scab on the gum, which was odd because it was hard, scabs in the mouth tend to go mushy..

But no this was a scratchy one and when I tried to pick at it or whatever it just bled and seemed to go, then come back a few hours later.

With almost superhuman effort I avoided messing with it for a few days to see if it would heal.. it didn't but it did get a little bigger.

So much so that I was going to call the dentist to make an urgent appontment, but I tried one last time to pick it off... with my guitar nails... and out it popped.. It was the remains of a tiny fragment of tooth that must have been left behind when I pulled it, just the tip but tooth for sure.

My body must have pushed it up to the exit point... remarkable, I didn't know that was even a thing.. 

This actually explains why my gums had an unexplained infection earlier this year when I was being fitted for my falsies, had to go on AB's to fix it, but there was no clear reason for the infection... Almost certainly it was my body telling this tooth fragment to do one.

Anyway, its out, the site will heal again and no need for emergency dentist, I'll let her know about it next checkup.

 

Ahthankyew

oops, at least no one died

There were a few storms the last couple of days... and guess what, the solar panels blew over and one landed up in our upstairs balcony.

eeekk they could have gone flying...

They seem to still be intact, but the frame they were on is bent all out of shape, so I need to build a new one... which is not something I really want to do in winter, so I think it best I get both panels cleaned up and stored until the spring...

not going to make much money from them in winter anyway..

Ahthankyew

Update Brian, update

Im sorry, its not that I don't care :D just not had a lot to say about things. Loving my life at the moment (careful thats a sure way to tempt bad things to happen),  and been busy doing cool things with my mad Raspberry Project which is where most of my online attention has been. 

Happy to also say FBR are starting to gig again as things pick up and return to normality (again a sure way to tempt bad things) which means a lot of new songs and rehearsals, so life is full and very very happy. 

We had a nice little break in Gran Canaria last month, well I say nice, it wasn't quite the break we had planned, I thought I had booked an all inclusive stay in a mid priced hotel.. Instead it was a lodgings only bungalow park, with some serious lack of hot water for showers. But thats my fault for not checking the Tui search properly. I'll know better next time, but if I tick the allinc button I expect and allinc result. We still had such a good time,eating out and exploring.. but damn those cold showers.

It was a lovely holiday though, a great week away with J and we enjoyed it so much. Despite her have a small bout of self induced food poisioning before we left(next time she'll belive me when I say horse chesnuts are not edible)  which kept us in the bungalow for a few days till she felt better. We hired a car and drove all over having fun and exploring.

Its the last few days of Block A, and though the overall skill level of this years intake was quite low at the start I'm happy to say they have picked up the pace for the most part and improved considerably. Its good to see that when students make progress. Last year was much more frustrating, party due to the Covid working from home situation I suspect.

Speaking of Covid, the numbers here are on the rise again leading to a re-introduction of some restrictions, but no lock down as yet.. fingers crossed.

Ok, back to work, the dreaded grading next week :(

Ahthankyew

Been busy.

Wow its been a busy month, all sorts of things stealing time, but finally things are settling down at work, and next week no more covid restrictions (for a while at least).

There's no big events to really talk about, work has been the prime issue, life is still good.. and we need a holiday again :D

Ahthankyew

where did it go

Well that was a lovely long break, nice holiday, lots of sleeping and relaxing, no stress. Lots of laughs and settling into life we want when we retire.

Weather in NL could have been a lot better though, was hoping to have an end of holiday BBQ but its rained pretty much every weekend. We'll see what we can do in Sept.

And now the holidays are over... time to get my shit collected up again and make ready for a new year... and hopefully an end to the work from home routine, at least for a few days. I have enjoyed working from home, but do miss the interaction with staff and students. So we're going back to the office with my 2 jabs in place. Pretty sure at some point I'll catch the lurgy, but my chances of dying are a lot less.

Getting my coding head back on now, been tinkering a bit with some Rpi stuff which is immense fun, but also now have to focus on finishing things and getting ready for a nice new batch of bright young things.

I hope we don't get the same levels of disconnection and entitlement as we did last year, the situation of online and small echo chambers created some very bad situations that I really want to avoid this year.

Well we'll see, got a new bike to cycle to and from work, if its not pissing down, and if I can keep on top of things better from the office we should have a good fun year.

Looking forward to more gigs and both bands being up and running again soon. Starrcase has had to go into mothballs due to the lockdown but we're creeping out slowly this month to rehearse for one of our own's wedding, and then hopefully back to doing school gigs.

FBR is starting to pick up gigs as well, we maintained a modest level of rehearsal in lockdown, but we need to get gig ready again soon.

Onward with the new academic year,... lets see if I'm in despair in 2 weeks time

Ahthankyew

home is where the mosquitos don't bite

we're home, it was a great holiday but there's no denying the mosquitos used me as an all you can eat buffet, I have terrible bites all over.

The holiday was great though we did a lot of cruises and site seeing, had several lazy days and lots of drinking an lie ins...

was great.... need a holiday to get over it.

Its a bit surreal to wake up and witness a greek sunrise over the mountains and return home to a chilly 26degs with no mountains.

Ahthankyew

I need a holiday

I need a holiday after the effort of planning this one.

jeez everything, and I mean everthing that could go wrong has gone wrong, all thats left is that I'll leave my passport at home when I set off.

We need to go for a 2nd covid test in 30 mins becuase I didn't think to change the time of the PCR test I booked the day before travel for the old cancelled holiday to Cyprus,... I didn't take into account that the new flight  to Greece is 12 hours ealier, so there's strong chance our PCR test won't be completed before we get to the airport... it is a 24 hour test, and we only have 14 hours from the time we took it... too close a margin, had me frantically searching for fast tests.

But at least Greece accepts rapid tests so we're heading off shortly, and will have the results in 4 hours so just in time for tomorrows travel

I just don't deal with this kind of stress well....need this holiday.... yet somehow can't help thinking that its going to go wrong.....somehow.

Ahthankyew

my 5g is broken

2nd jab, no major side effects, a sore arm for a couple of days a bit worse than first time but otherwise good,.

Neither of us have expereinced any fever or illness and we're good to go, building up our resistance as we prepare for a nice holiday break

We were booked to go to Cyprus but it was cancelled when they went to corona orange status.

so now we go to Corfu... it'll be nice.

or else.

Ahthankyew

Hey fatty bum bum

its been no secret to anyone that reads this, that I've been aware of my weight issues for a while, and made some effort to get things under control, but...not with the seriousness and commitment it needed.

then I saw this video of an impromptu acoustic set at a Whetstone reunion.

It has shocked me... seriously, that big blue beach ball is me.... thats absurd... really.. Most of my life I have been a skinny short arse, now I'm a major fat lardy ball...and still short.
I start at 102.3kg.... and thats 30kg too much, put that into perspective I'm 30% overweight and thats going to do some harm to my heart or give me diabeties. Its certainly going to shorten my life.

I can joke all I want about Jirawans food being too tempting but its me that keeps shoving it in my cakehole.

I've posted this video on my facebook and pinned it to the top, it stays there till I lose that 30kg. It might take a year, but I can't ever let myself look like that, its just painful.

Dramatic cutback in food, more excercise and when I get a bit more in shape I'll do the gym thing. 

Can't stand looking at this video, even though we were having so much fun on the night, that fat bastard is me...and I just don't think I'll be around much longer if I don't sort it.

Ahthankyew

time for a rant

Not had one of these for a while have I? Did you miss them?

This time its social media... Facebook/Twitter./Linked-in etc

All sites I use regular;y and often, both for information and pleasure... I like being on there, it gives me a way to connect with people I have made connections with from all over the world.

Which if that was all it did I'd be perfectly happy. But I also have to endure the endless streams of fake/spam ads, and more worringly the misguided and sometimes fucking outright stupid opinions of others. Ok so opinions I can cope with...but some opinions need to be called out, or shut down.

Yes this is an anti-vax/anti science rant... And more importantly its about social media doing absolutely fuck all to stop them... not a damn thing, if you actually take the time to report something, their security teams (ie a bot) refuses to remove the post/profile despite even the most cursory glance showing it to be nonsense, often dangerous nonsense often with links to even more dangerous nonsense and...content they themselves (social media that is) claim they are not allowing.....

They are quite happy to give out warnings to people who post jokes about the crazy dutch collegues I work with.. because "crazy" means hate speech, even in a joke, but unwilling to remove a clear ad for sexual content, or misinformation that claims thousands are dying from covid 19 vaccinations with a link to an ultra right bs website.

They simply don't give a shit do they... and its time they did..they promised they would, they even were threatened by different government agencies... but all they have done is key word bot searches and ignore humans pointing out...ermm this friend request is from someong selling a porn site......oh its ok, its not against our rules (yes it totally is), thanks for helping us keep <insert social media here> safe..


twats, the lot of them.

Ahthankyew

oww but thats all

worth a follow up considering all the misinfromation around, which is absurd.

Only 2 side effects both of us had sore arms for a couple of days, and the day after I was pretty tired, not sick levels of go to bed tired, but both of us needed to take it easy but we were not in any way debilitated.

2 days later, soreness is pretty much gone for J, a litte bit for me and am my usual, need coffee then get started.

Roll on dose 2.

Ahthankyew

Pfizer membership confirmed

So at different times and locations, we both got our jabs yesterday, and we're excited to be on the road to some levels of normal. No major side effects, though our arms are a bit sore, that will pass though.

going to start planning our holiday, not quite sure where but we're certainly going to fly to osome scorching sun.

Ahthankyew

Jabs delayed

We're not quite sure what happened, but Jirawans appointment didn't go through, I guess there was a confirm/accept button on the booking site that was missed. We waited for the email and sms confirmations all weekend, and nothing came, so we had to check the site again to see our schedule and it was not there.

so I screwed up somewhere..

But its ok, Jirawan is far more resourceful than I am and she called up to get her a booking on the same day as me, the 9th, and its set, not at the same time and place as mine but sorted all the same.. we should therefore be free to travel during our summer break as we hoped.

fingers crossed.

Ahthankyew

Jabs ahoy..

Even though techically I was first in line, I choose to have mine a little later due to not wanting to travel too far on a work day.. so mine is in Breda on june 9. Jirawan was able to book hers a week later, but they offered here jabs on the same day, but quite some distance away... Sadly I still have not mastered the art of being in 2 places at one time so I can drive her so we had to wait a few days to book a new appointment.

and she gets heres before me on June 1st, though it is at a location thats some distance from here, I can at least drive her there.
Our 2nd jabs are 1 month later

so... hopefully that means end of July/start August, we'll both be immune and able to travel a bit in time for the summer holidays. A trip to Thailand is still not really viable, they are still in lock down there big time.. and I'd be in quarantine even with my jabs, but we can find a 2 week getaway and squeeze in a trip to the uk I'm sure.


Better get the kettle on mum, we will be heading over.

Ahthankyew

Life is good...but

I am sorry to not be updating so often recently, even though blogs are kinda old fashioned now I do like maintaining this, even if mum has almsot upgraded to facebook :D

I'm still doing fine, happy, so fucking happy with life at the moment, even cracking a few smiles. Work is hard, at times, but at least I have work, personal projects go in rapid cycles of wow, to ..ermmm what now... but all in all I can't be happier.. bored with the lockdown, but still happier.

I have been reflecting a little bit, as I do at this time of year on my experience with cancer, it never quite escapes me, due to the fact I have visible and physical reminders of it. But its pretty remarkable that I got through it and have so much to look forward too. I've got a bit of a dodgy tooth that needs to be seen to, I always hate going to the dentist though, but....well if I hadn't that time........dum dum duuuuum.

Ok well this is getting a bit soppy... nothing much to see really, life is good, no sign of holidays being possible due to lockdown, but we're considering a campervan tour of europe...though like many things its looking more expensive and less allowable than we thought... maybe a cruise...maybe

Waiting for our jabs...any day now for me, but Jirawan may need to wait another month or so...

right back to facebook for more pics of cats.

Ahthankyew

grrrr

One of the most annoying things about linux is when you want to quickly run something on a machine you've not used for a while, and it kicks into update mode.

ask me later when its finished, how that feels.

Ahthankyew

A year of confusion and yet...

Lockdown has been in force now for a year, despite a couple of short relaxations, its been a year of social restriction...

But its also been a year since the woman who makes me laugh every single day, moved in and made my miserable sad depressed single life a thing of the past.

Thank you lockdown.....you made it possible......but y'know its done now so...can we stop now and get back to going out and  all the other stuff we used to do?

Please?

Ahthankyew

now thats just silly Brian

102kg

thats it.... really no, thats it... only have 2 pairs of jeans now that fit me, its time to stop...

no more drinking except for special occasions and more walking, I'm shedding this flab

I got my hair cut the other day and there is nothing more depressing than watching a pasty walrus trying to get comfortabl in a fat arse chair infront of a full length mirror

fat...bastard

thats it...I've told J, that not too much has to stop, I'm on the diet from hell and thats the end of it.

Ahthankyew

getting bigger

Ahthankyew

Really loving the Pi4/400

Its not just that its fun, but it gets better with little tricks and updates you discover making more things possible. It really is a nice machine

Ahthankyew

Not so many updates

Well we're still in lockdown here in NL, so there's really very little to talk about, Jirawan still makes me laugh every single day, and we're loving our life, but we do want to go out and eat and be entertained but...yeah...nothing much changes each day, get up, go to my home office, work for 8/9 hours, go watch TV or go back to my office do some programming on my Raspberry or Coleco projects.

Jirawan likes to take advantage of my working and have long lie ins watching her Thai soaps on her phone in bed till midday (she's addicted....but who am I to complain).  Then she gets to go out to work at the Thai restraunt from 3 till 9ish..(take away only)  So she at least gets to have a bit of a social life, which I think is the only reason she's not lost her mind :D  Thats when I do my own work, in the evenings when she's out, so don't think I'm neglecting her...unless I have bugs. :D

Life is falling into a very hum drum routine, but its not at all uncomfortable or stressed we  have so much fun together doing our own things and being daft together.

Waiting for the jab though so we can go on a holiday, get to Thailand and meet the family, or England and meet mum..

One day......

Ahthankyew

phew just a cold

Had a tiny scare,  for the last .....how long has it been? We've been in rigid lockdown, not seeing anyone, mixing with people or going out without mask..

So when I start to get symptoms of a cold, it was panic stations, there's just no way I can pick up a cold virus, and if I can get a cold, I can get... athletes foot...or worse

Anyway the rules here say if you have any cold like symptoms to get a covid test asap which I duly booked last night, and attended this morning to get the results this afternoon.

clear...no covid.

Its just a cold........but of course, its a bad horrible man flu kinda cold and I need my feet rubbing and stuff.....

good job I'm married now.

Ahthankyew

Curfews and snow

The Dutch introduced a curfew at the end of Jan which we all hoped would be lifted tomorrow, but no its going to extend to the beginning of March.... at least

That and the fact we've finally hit winter with the most snow NL has had in a decade means going anywhere is now impractical AND illegal after 9pm

sigh... If I am honest we're not too bad, J gets to go to work part time 4 nights a week, so that keeps her in touch with her thai friends and sane, I come upstairs and work on my projects. That keeps me....hmmmm

But we do want to get out and about a bit, there's just nowhere to go and nothing to do, my drinking is...well its undercontrol...kinda, a bit, but I am having a few more snifters of an evening. Our sleeping is all over the place, though I have to be up at my puter at 9 so I manage that but often doze on the couch after work.

We just want normality to come back to our lives, like everyone else...our resistance is strong, but it is getting thinner.

Ahthankyew

at last...oh its only February

It really is moving very very slowly this year... but at least its moving.

Grading time at work, so nothing much going to happen for a week or so.....

in other news, J, finally got her refund for her flight to Thailand that was cancelled last year at the start of the pandemic/1st lockdown... almost a year... and they took a charge...but meh...

nothing much else to report, its been such a long sllllllloooooowwww month.  We really want to go out, on holiday to a beach somewhere with sun...  sigh

Ahthankyew

January isn't going to end is it?

Its dragging on and on, not helped by the fact our lockdown has now added a curfew to the mix, which means we're locked in from 9pm, and can't do our late night walks any more...

Still crazy times here, ,NL has been painfully slow to get traction going on the vaccination program, so it looks like its certainly going to be summer before we get a jab and can start thinking about any kind of normnal.

Life as a newlywed is still wonderful, but not being able to go out for meals, entertainment or travel togher is really a pain. But at least we have each other to make us laugh every day and keep the moods at bay.

oh well...just have to keep focused, at least we're not sick.

Ahthankyew

Gawd its still January....

Lockdown continues.... we're coping pretty well generally but I must admit I do miss being able to go to the movies, or out for a meal, or just drinks.

Its a crazy time for all.. NL isn't rolling out the vaccine as fast as we'd like, for a small country with amazing government systems for keeping tabs on you, they should be doing better, but it slow so far.

Hoping we can get the jab before summer and maybe then see about a holiday to get well away from this crazy..

In the meantime I am worried about mum back in the UK, she's locked in a cage basically and going very stir crazy, Jirawan and I are hoping we can ship her over here sometime this year to chillax and recover...dunno how easy that will be, it will depend on jabs, mad dogs and new brexit visitor rules... all a bit argghh

Speaking of Brexit,....thats going really well isn't it..... muppets.

Oh well, back to work, my home office chairs arse indent isn't going to fill itself.

Ahthankyew

The world is truely mad

Watching the events in the USA.....madness

Im not a great fan of America, I have lovely american friends, even a few that still live there, but the place is insane, the politics are beyond crazy, the sense of undeserved moral superiority and ignorance of the world, as well as the social injustice they deny so hard is based entierly on the concepts of greed and power.

Its not a place I want to move to, though I do, or did, enjoy visits there.

But whats going on now is madness.. Trump himself is appalling, and there's more than enough evidence to prove that, what is scary though is that he has the support of so many who refuse to see just how appalling he is. He's literally, and its easy to check, literally has done nothing good as a president. Spent most of his time unravelling Obama and even Bush's legacy, while contributing nothing of his own, but claimed he's saved the US, by making it a paraiah state and a lauging stock on the world stage.

Populism without any accountablity.

Decades of corruption and abuse of power from both sides (and sides is so relative in this case because they are both right wing parties) has now produced a popualtion so ignorant of fact and concepts of responsibility that it has devolved into simple tribalism.

And tribalism forces you to back your tribe no matter what it does, without question or concern.

I am sure this is going to get worse, much worse, and Trump will stand proud as the country burns around him.

Ahthankyew

new 'puter in place

Well not that new really, I decided to make use of the upstairs games system, its still an older model system, but newer than the beast, and significantly quieter making for a nicer working situation, the old beast was churning out fan noise at an alarming rate and I'm sure its responsible for my Tinitus..

I don't like switching machines though, there's an inherrent loss of content you have to deal with, and at some point you find you need an app or a file that is just not there any more..its a pain..

But the old machine is still usable and I will set it up to be a back up, upstairs, then transfer all its many gig of files going back years and years....and years... and then see what I can do to recycle some of its good bits. Its still a nice machine despite its age, it has a good graphics card in place. But the noise is too much now, I might try to put its guts into an old silent case I have in the shed, if the PSU is compatable. But for now, its new pc in place. Which is sooooo much quieter.

Ahthankyew

Oops, Merry Christmas

sorry I forgot...

Merry Christmas

we had a nice quiet Christmas, though Jirawan did a bit of work in the evening which distrupted our dinner plans, we instead have an awesome roast beef and veg dinner on Boxing day

We never managed to get out shopping for presies before the lockdown shut everything down, so we'll be putting what we saved into a holiday pot. First chance we get we're going somewhere hot... dunno when that will be mind you. I suspect we'll be a little back of the queue for vaccinations, but as soon as we can we're having a holiday to remember, combined honeymoon, holidat, christmas pressy.

Even though it wasn't a traditional Christmas, it was still a wonderful 1st Chrismas together... the 2nd will however be a much bigger affair if I get even half a chance.

2020 was a pretty crap year for a lot of reasons, but it had its good points :D

Ahthankyew

Lighting done

So this is basically what I've been messing with, its not by any means new or revolutionary, in fact its pretty standard in most games and a little outdated. But I'm planning something on the Raspberry... which is capable of things like this quite easily, but not quickly.

The intenton now is to develop a few performance concepts that will let me use this lighitng model but at a much increased performance.. So that I can fill a Rasp3/4 with models and when appropriate, light them and make them look decent..
this particular model is probably not going to make it in a game, its too complex, but it does put the Raspberry at  its limit using a standard system. meaning I can measure improvements in terms of FPS, which lets me exeriment with a few ideas I have.

You can't really do this kind of researh with a PC, unless you draw 100's of these on screen, which also causes other things to come into play, so this is a really good use of a Raspberry's lack of power.

Oh and its damn pretty :D

Ahthankyew

Small Steps

The Difference with and without emission textures

though I must admit my light calculations are a bit off so having to use an ambiant light to make this pop

and on a bigger model the results can be subtle

Ahthankyew

New Pi Project underway

Every year I give my Y1 block C students a project to do on the Pi, its always an eye opener for them. this year I plan to make it a little more technical to help them transtition to the new Pi4's so more OpenGLES3.x than 2.0

They will get a basic render system like the 1st image below then have to load in the space station and different ships to create a basic space trading game viewed from an observers view point..

It'll be fun... promise :D

Ahthankyew

7 weeks married

Not a single cross word and every single day I've been reducd to tears from laughing and feeling an overwhelming sense of love and support.

wonderful.. just wonderful, no fear of saying the wrong thing, no eggshells to walk on, just a wonderful caring loving woman and a happy happy content loving man.... this is what I've waited 57 years for.

dammit Brian... why didn't you find this woman before, you muppet.

Ahthankyew

and I was looking forward to this.

bugger

Oh well, am sure they'll send me a new one soon...very soon... I hope... yeah course they will

Ahthankyew

Getting my Coding mojo back a bit

Trying to get things going again after a bit of burn out, I've only been working on the very slow progressing Coleco project and fixing students bugs which has given me no time to work on a personal project I want to start.

But I have to prep a new project for my block C students and been tinkering about with the Rpi4 and Jetson... 2 very interesting machines for different reasons

I've got a startup project running on both, just ready to start adding some proper content..Its not much to look at but it shows my implimetation of DearImGui in place, some basic OpenGLES2.0 set up, and though not clear here,  both RakNet and Screen Res changes in place, all operating at 60fps. Also Bullet physics and OpenAL so this is a good starting framework I can build on.

Not too bad.... but lots more content to add

Really want to get the Coleco out the way though, only been able to spend an odd hour or so on it, with occasional bursts during holidays. Its damn close now, such a shame to take so long on such a small project but its so much harder than it looks..

This silly thing looks like a lot of work but its only a few minutes to get things set up,which is why I really don't see me getting into retro gaming, weeks of work for little reward, compared to minutes for a lot.

ah well

Ahthankyew

New Block, new skills.

Block B started with a bang, my old friend Jacco Bikker, one of the worlds leading experts on ray tracing is giving classes on.....ray tracing.

Its not especially hard to code, but it does need a fairly solid grasp of maths, and an understanding of the basics of coding.

So I get 1 out of 2... 

It was so funny watching my students online, faces going from happy, to, wow, to oops, then oh, and finally oh shit..

haha, they'll manage it.

I guess I'll have to try it too..

Ahthankyew

Feeling fresh and clean

for the 1st time in months I was able to have my morning shower. Finally I finished the job, we have a new, non leaking, shower

Its not the greatest example of DIY ever, that back wall still has a lot of horrible water damage going up its length,that needs to be resolved eventually, but we can start putting a few quid away every month for the next couple of years then get a proper builder in to rip everything out and put in a brand new bathroom

In the meantime my patched up white tiles on the bottom (we found some spare tiles in the shed after IO'd done this...) and my masking tape applied silicone sealant are all working fine... we have a shower... its good to be clean and refreshed in the mornings, and not snoozing in a hot bath for an hour.

Ahthankyew

Married life is fattening

My wife is a feeder... its clearly all her fault, she's forcing me to eat delcious calorie loaded foods at an ever increasing rate.

I must....resist.

Ahthankyew

A new record

17 days and I've still not argued with my wife.......amazing

Loving it...

Can't think why I didn't do this be...oh wait.... yeah, well, lets not get into that.

Ahthankyew

this is nice....

Ahthankyew

Great day...

no words needed

Ahthankyew

Still on, but no celebrations!

Last night saw a host of new tougher regulations on social activity due to covid19. We were genuinely concered that there might be a chance our wedding was cancelled.

But.. we're good to go. Sadly all pubs and restraunts are being shut down,  so no chance to go for a drink after. We had planned to book somewhere but it fell through due to the last set of restrictions, and our fall back was just to walk to the nearest open bar.  Well there won't be any nearest open bars so..

Its certainly proving to be quite a struggle to marry this woman, but its going to be worth it... We've got  under 30 guests coming to the ceremony, all masked up and distanced as needed. And cousin Emily is going to livestream the event for us on this website which will also back it up to Youtube. So family and friends in the UK and Thailand can join in .

2 days to go :D

https://sites.google.com/view/brian-jirawan/home

Ahthankyew

And we are off...

Our wedding date is finally confirmed, (though of course Covid can cause a cancellation at any point)

but 16th Oct, we will be married :D A wonderful whirlwind of amazingness and fun...set to last for at least a few months more, if not a lifetime.. :D

The last of the documents arrived 2 days before the deadline, and despite a small hiccup at the gemeente due to Jirawan having entered into some apparent form of legal marriage in Thailand when she was simply registering her kids for school (I think there's a mis translation of annullment, or seperation), the word divorce, was used in the translation, they do accept that she's single and "divorced" so we're good to go.

We got a little good news that despite our reception having to be cancelled because the venue we had in mind had to back out due to covid, and no others could commit. We can at least have a bigger room at the Stadhuis that allows us to invite some guests. Which was not possible in the small room. Nice, a proper wedding after all.

So we are going to have our closest friends with us, and some can come back to the house and sit in the cold October garden and have a few drinks.. It will be odd, but best we can do. We will make plans for a mega party in a year to celebrate properly and get her and my family to come over...

Honeymoon plans also have to be cut back, we can't really travel at the moment, NL is more orange than usual at the moment and quarentine laws would make any travel out of NL impractical.. We'll again save the money and try to arrange for a trip to Thailand at Chistmas, or Easter, or summer, or the christmas after....depending on Covid.

Exciting times..if covid does not fuck it all up again. But very happy times in spite of all the hassles.

Ahthankyew

ohhh thats sad

I'm still working on getting together funds and manpower to arrange for a restoration of my great grandparents grave, its a slow process getting in contact with people who may or may not have documents needed to allow the restoration people to take the rather massive stone away and recondition it.

In the process though I've made contact with my cousin George, a 3rd gen Beuken to my 4th. He provided some useful information and sadly reported that the deeds to the plots are lost..hmm ok 

Well that just means a bit more effort to get permision to restore it

But he also let slip a nugget of info I didn't know, my own grandmother is buried next to them in an unmarked grave.

Whhhhaat??

Its no longer a big family secret, my father was raised by his grandparents(the ones in the grave) as a son, becuase his mother died very soon after giving birth to him, It was a bit of a scandal in 1935 Fauldhouse because grandad got her pregnant... so a swift marriage was arranged and they were sent out of the way for a bit to have the kid and wait for things to settle, well that was probably the plan. But she died of sepsis less than 2 months later..  Grandad let his parents raise dad as their own, and met his 2nd wife Alice (also getting her pregnant...what a lad) and he moved on, and everyone was sworn to secrecy... Later causing incredible family rifts when the secret was revealed by one of my dads "siblings" who probably using choice langague informed the stroppy teen brat in front of him of his origins. The fallout lasted years.....years...still going on really.

But...back to my grandmother, since dad was raised as a son, the story of his mum wasn't discussed, and it seems that the family allowed her to be buried in a family plot but  not to be remembered.. She was only 19 years old, thats so sad.

I found records of her marriage and death in the Scottish records office and now have info on her. Her name was Catherine Marshall Thomson McAlonan, she married Mick(Matthew), my grandad in Oct 1935 while about 3 months pregnant. Had dad in March 1936, and passed away mid May. not even a year married...so sad.

I'm now quite determined to ensure that this young lady is not forgotton, all we have is a few records, an unmarked grave and a single photo, she deserves a little more.

Ahthankyew

Maybe its an addiction?

Got a few more 5 star ratings on my book, no reviews that I can see but still nice to see the rating rise again after someone only gave it 4 stars because they thought they had to buy 1000quids worth of software (they don't its all free.. I doubt he read it), I now get all 5 gold stars instead of that annoying half white 5th star.

Its kinda done its thing though, and sales are very low, it was a very niche book and since the RPi4 came out it its lost much of its target audience.

But I can now announce I am writing another... as much as I didn't really enjoy the final phase of writing the 1st book I kinda felt I wasn't quite done with it and had a lot of content I needed to skip, so wanted to have another go.  Sales were not good enough to do a 2nd edition with edits, so I'm biting the bullet and doing a whole new book with all new content.

I'm about half way through, and its shaping up to be another big book, but I'm learning from my mistakes and not committing to a time frame with the publisher. I'll submit it when its done, and make sure all the software is uptodate and ready at launch. I've been playing catchup a bit with the older software and Raspberry's upgrades to the Rpi4 have made a lot of that redundant now.

So this books focus is mainly on the Rpi4 and lets me explain some of the cooler features of OpenGLES3.0, and some 3.1 and 3.2, though the RPi4's support of 3.1 and 3.2 is current very limited, I can use my Jetson to do that too. I'm pretty sure RPi4 will get the 3.1 and 3.2 stuff sorted by the time the book is ready.

Since the Rp4 is a proper linux/mesa libs system it will be a lot easier to do the cross platform stuff and wont' have to spend much time doing exceptions to rules.

About 200 pages of actual slightly meandering text done so far, but only outlines for the code and comparative content (I want to compare some good and bad principles and also how OpenGLES3.0 can do things a lot faster than OpenGLES2.0).  I'm also not going to spend too much time explaining set ups, as people sadly insist on using their own, even when VisualGDB is clearly the bomb for this stuff.

So its still a good 6 months away from being in a readable state for proof readers, I expect to finish in about a year.

I'll experiment a bit with my new 1st years in Block C and see how they cope with the projects I have planned for it.

Writing without pressure really is fun, but editing is still boring, I tend to write in a conversational style which makes sense as you do it, but looking back at it the day after, you can't always keep the train of thought going, so a lot can get chopped...still its nice, its fun, and I'm enjoying my hour or 2 sessions.

Probably won't do much updating about it on here, at least until I start the coding.

Ahthankyew

And you're back in the room.

Kinda, we're all back to work, though am still stuck in my home office as there's not really a need to go to the school office. Our instructions are to only go when we have to.

Strange kind of day, but hey ho, we have to work through it even though Im more than a tad hunover after a before work socially distanced BBQ with Martin and Dave W, and Sally and Maria. I overdid the vino a bit and paid for it most of the night. So today am suffering from lack of sleep and a need to stay near the loo.

Also I now have another new K-ring after my last one (itself a replacment) just stopped working during my trip to the UK,  Hopefully it won't give me any issues again, as I really like this gadget for paying for things, as it means I don't need my wallet. NL is pretty much a cashless place now, everyone uses some form of contactless, either via their phones or smart watches or just their standard bank cards.  And in my case my K-ring.

Currently installing latest software needed for remote working and file sharing, and its just done, so better get back to work.

Ahthankyew

Oh c'mon

As lockdown comes and goes with each new panic of spikes, so does the inevitable, plandemic, anti vax, Bill Gates is the devil, crowd. Added to the Brexit is good for us, flat earthers and near religious advocacy of the worlds most incompetant US president. I am finding myself utterly overwhelmed by stupidity.

No, really, I am. I have more than a bit of OCD in that, I adore facts, I research things, I seek understanding and knowledge on things. I spend hours reading books, the old fashioned paper kind, and hunting down research papers, listening to acknowledge experts and discussions and debates on topics that provide insight and reason and logic to reach conclusions.. And as such when someone says something I know is just wrong. I feel a need to speak up.

Now I know, that does not make me popular with some people, it pisses a lot of people off sometimes, and I do freely admit to sometimes having difficulty with differentiation of valid, (if wrong) opinions, with facts.

But still, some facts are clear.. some facts are researched, some facts are clear and obvious and backed up with generation os research and proof, or by the best scientific methods, and tests,  possible... and google isn't one of them, neither is duck duck go.

Im tired of reading from hyper active "truth" bombers about how the earth is flat, vaccines are poison,  Bill Gates wants to chip us all and, somehow control our minds. Not to mention the science doesn't know everything and crystals worked for me brigade.

Why, just why are these people on the planet, what possible purpose do they have? Where do they get this nonsense and how do people fall for it.. I'm so so tired of trying to engage them, this is the result, every time

I'm done with it,  I need to back off, for my own sanity as these people and my OCD for factual info can't handle it.. No matter what proof you give them they claim its fake or they just ignore it and carry on. You can't cure stupid.

Ahthankyew

Some Diet news..

Going well, very boring, nothing revolutionary, just a very small lunch, usually nothing more than a fruit biscuit and a fruit, apple, or orange. and then a small evening meal, left as late as possible. No snacks, and some kind of excercise in the evening, cycling 8k or walking 3.. sometimes both.

Its not helped though when Jirawan lovingly makes me a delicious burger with cheese and egg for lunch when  I am doing a bit of coding. Which was stunning, but I had to forgoe my evening meal tonight for just a few skewers of teriyaki chicken.

oh well..she really means well, but she's clearly a feeder and wants me to keep my sexy bhudda figure.....nope.

I am currently at 96.6  so around 3 kilo's lost so far, thats steady, about a kilo a week, if I can keep it up I should be in a fairly decent place for christmas.

Ahthankyew

Small print twattery

Insurance has to be the biggest scam ever... I've had a leak in my shower, its done a lot of damage, and sadly it went unnoticed for a long time, since I shower every morning, and head off to work, I never saw the dripping from the kitchen window gable that would occur 10-20mins later

But finally the insurance sent someone to look, they did some measuring, banged a few holes in the bedroom dividing wall to see where the leak was and off they went.

Today I get a call, that indeed the leak exists, its been caused by the connection from the shower base, to the drain pipe, the seal has given way and a fair proportion of  waste water is just ending up in the floor......ie....not the drain pipe, not the buildings drain pipe, but the seal that was installed when the shower was 1st fitted...when the building was done...so...sorry mate you're bang outta luck, insurance won't pay.

Total fuckers, absolute total fuckers... Its going to cost a small fortune, as the water has led to a lot of damage to the dividing walls and any timbers that might be on the path the water took to escape... fuck fuck fuck,.

no holidays for us for a few years...

Ahthankyew

And... its diet time again

I loved having a fish supper back in Scotland, and a black pudding supper the next night, stunning lovely comfort food, but of coruse fattening.. there were some mirrors in my room, and I seem to be about 22 months pregnant.....

so yes, again....its diet time. I have sat Jirawan down, and told her, that not too much, has to be redefined, to not too many calories, and that a mound of veggies and noodles is indeed too much.. We're going lo carb, and much smaller portions and more excerise (she likes that bit, we walk most nights, and she likes cycling)

She kinda gets it though, she also wants to lose a few pounds.

Her cooking is so tasty its going to be hard to resist, but she cooks for 5, and then eats very little herself, I have to resist.

No point in doing the running score  but lets be honest I've been hovering round 100kg for a few months now so hopefully each week we'll see a kilo or 2 dropping down.

Ahthankyew

So we start again.

My short trip to Scotland was, eventful, at least as far as cock ups with car hire were concenred, but really thats all irrelevent in relaton to the real reason I was there, to say goodbye to Chris. 

Social distance rules meant it was a small turn out, though a good one under the circumstances, his friends came to say goodbye and his family was there too, thats really all that you can do. Even though I don't agree with the religious mumbo jumbo the priest did a fine job in eulogising Chris, his daughter Kelly had given him some excellent background info. Mum was gutted not to be able to travel, but I sent her some pics that were upsetting but also reassuring for her and thanked everyone there on her behalf.

Colin and I were civil to each other, clearly we're still estranged, but civil is better than antagonistic. We will have to see if that can develop.

I was on my own a lot of the time and so decided to drive around a little bit, visiting Fauldhouse, Edinburgh, Livingston.  hmmm well...Edinburgh is still the same as always though there's a few more pedestrainised areas. Of course its not crazy busy like it usually  is, due to all the Corona restricitons but people were out shopping and I took pics of the castle and other sights still there to send to Jirawan who wants to visit when we can, though much of the tourist sites are still closed.

Livingston has grown beyond recognition, and Fauldhouse has changed quite a bit too, in that earily familiar but not, kind of way, almost all the old shops I remember are gone, including my dear friends the Martin's newsagents.
I did come away with a profound sense of decay though, the place really isn't showing any signs of investment or improvement. When I walk down pristine Dutch pavements and drive on immaculate roads, I can't help but notice how shocking the infrastrucutre in Scotland is. The roads, the streets, the houses, all falling apart. I have been told that Scotland is booming.....but as  a visitor, I don't see it. Overgrown verges, crumbling roads, hip breaking pavements.... hmmm well, ok.. maybe its the lockdown. 

I spent 2 nights at a small b&b in Corstorphine, which allowed easy access to the motorway, and had the good fortune to be near an excellent chippy to have my frist proper fish supper in ages, it was lovely. Familiar food was the only real joy in the trip,  it was a sad time, and I was there for sad reasons.

Overall though I didn't find myself sentementally attached to the place, Breda is my home now and I am glad I am back here.  Jirawan was waiting for me at the airport and her sense of joy at my return made me realise I have so much to be grateful for here and its time for me to focus on that.

Ahthankyew

Not the best time to travel

After a long delay, we finally have a date for Chris's funeral, which allowed me to book a flight to the UK, a lot of hassle, but eventually managed to get a flight via Paris to Edinburgh and return a few days later.

It was a strange experience going to so much effort to book a 2 day trip, what was stranger was the sense of pointlessness in it all after I had finally managed it.
I've been noticably downbeat the last 2 weeks, for obvious reasons, Jirawan has been a rock and done her best to keep my spirits up. but booking the trip, really upset me. I am not too sure how I'm going to cope on Wednesday.

No chance to detour down to Rochdale and see mum sadly, I did try to look into leaving from Bradford  but the cost and lack of flights made it impossible.

We also have more info on cause of death, basically heart disease, a long standing condition, made a little more serious by his life style. He suffered a bad nose bleed, got out of bed too quick and collapsed and died. Its sad that he died alone though, he was a social and friendly chap all his adult life, far removed from his miserable moody teens that I recall well. It would have made more sense to have happned having a laugh with his mates, but life and death seldom makes sense,.

Sad also that the funeral itself will be a social distanced affair, no service to send him on his way,  just a graveside event, but am sure his friends will be there to wish him goodbye and reflect on their time with him, as will I.






Ahthankyew

Well thats just not fair 2020, not fair at all.

Yesterday was a great day, very happy. But I made the mistake of taunting 2020 thinking it was fun to put my happy day ahead of all the crap happening in the world right now.

But as the day moved on, and become tomorrow it became a sad day as I received word in the early hours that my youngest brother Chris had passed away.

The details are still very sketchy, but it seems he'd not been too well recently,  neighbours noticed he wasn't around the last few days and asked the police to check his house where he was found.
Actual cause and time of death are not yet known, we will discover in due course. My middle brother Colin is taking charge of things and will let us know when he has more info as well as make the arrangments needed.

Chris and I weren't speaking much the last few years, its kinda a recuring theme in families that brothers drift apart,  for sure. thats been the case with both my brothers.
You would be hard pressed to find 3 more different people, personalities, interests, likes, opinions, talents; we share none, even our accents vary as we mixed in different circles as we grew up and moved into very different lives from the ones we grew up in.

We don't even look much alike, but there you go, in spite of that he was still my brother, and I'm filled with a sense of loss at his passing as I recall all the times as kids he annoyed me, irritated me, scared me, shocked me, surprised me, and made me happy to be his brother growing up. He was the youngest and mum spoiled him which lead to some fantastic rows and more than a few tantrums.
But as a man he was social, funny, slightly insane, sharp witted, and possesed of a friendly nature that made him popular with his friends. We got together a few times as adults before the inevitable rows on our different world views and physical distance left us drifting.


I have a genuine sense of helplessness to aid in a family crisis that is of course going to have a huge impact on my mother who has to deal with the loss of her child. Colin and I are also quite estranged for several years, but I have trust in his ability to take charge and will support him in anyway he needs. We may have to re-evaluate our relationship after this, we'll see.

I'm trying to confirm if I am able/allowed to travel to the UK at the moment given the lockdown/quarentine situation, its not looking very promising.

Really not much I can do, just have to get through the days, and see what develops.







Ahthankyew

Gambles work sometimes

5 months ago, on Feb 14, St Valintines day I met a crazy short, chatty lady, who made me laugh, a month later I took a gamble, having already taken a couple before that which didn't pay off and asked her to spend lock down with me. It really was a gamble.

This one paid of, the last 5 months have been filled with fun, joy, trust, respect and love...wonderful times..

I want them to continue and asked Jirawan if she would marry me.....I normally would put in a bad taste joke here...but meh...no need she said yes..I said she was crazy.

Life is good, and I can't see it getting bad ever again.


2020 has been a bad year for a lot of reasons, but for me there's a gilt edge to those clouds...


watch me get corona now!!!




Ahthankyew

Always time to learn.

A few years ago, I bought a triple monitor stand on ebay... big heavy thing it is... and I was dead excited, but when I set up my monitors, my excitement changed to dismay as it was clear the gas pivots would not hold the weight of them...and I cranked the adjusters as far as I could... and still no go, so even though they held the monitors, they sunk to the ground and I propped them up with books or whatever. It was more effort than it was worth to ship them to the seller for a refund, and i'd spent a day setting them up, and even with out adjustment I at least had triple monitors set up.

And then I saw a small video on youtube by accident about adjusting the gas/spring tension... which I was sure I had done.. but decided to try again, this time though with the assurance that if I fucked them up I'd buy something else as my monitors are getting a bit past it (as is my work horse PC)

So I turned them anticlock wise as suggested... and yup, cranked as hard as I could with the screwdriver/socket.. and no movement.

So fuckit, get a wrench...and apply some leverage, and sure enough it moved, it moved a lot, a helluva alot and .....the monitors balanced... I can now raise and lower them and they hold...

bloody hell, years not having them working properly and all it took was a bit of effort..

So lesson learned, violence and power sometimes works when resolving long standing issues.

(or, read the fucking manual a bit better)


Ahthankyew

get rid of wires

I hate cables. really hate...they get tangled they are heavy to carry around, they trip you up, they wear out...oh so many reasons to hate them...

So am working hard to make my FBR acoustic set up wireless aside from the connection to an amp, the goal is no power cables (so battery/packs) and wifi systems.

I've got a decent, though little old guitar wireless system, which are a pair of old joyo rechargabe wifi units, they actually work pretty well when fully charged up. They probably need an upgrade as the batteries are probably on the way out... I also have a wireless mic, but it needs a powered receiver (and cable..grr) So been looking for a new option.

Today I took delivery of

Nux B4 wireless microphone system, which are rechargable ... I'm very excited about these as mic cables are the biggest pain.

Currently they are on charge so I can test them out, I've learned from past experience trying to test things that don't have a full charge can be quite annoying.

So...tell you in about 8 hours if they are a good buy or not. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.


edit...they are fantastic,, and I got a set of Harley Benton guitar wifi connecdtions and now am fully wireless... Brillian.t 4 hour rehearsals managed just fine, so a 1.5 hour gig will be no problem,. Though I'll always carry the cables in the gig box as a back up, this is the future :D
The only fly in the ointment is powering my voicelive3, I have a heafty powerbank that does provide power, but occasional drops in ampage result in resets...so its not perfect yet.

Ahthankyew

venturing out a bit.

Went to town yesterday for a drink with my old mate Martin and his wife Sally,  the centre was rammed with people though so we choose to meet up at the much quieter Hijgend Hert, which is our usual after work drinking haunt, away from the town centre, only a few people there.

It was nice to get out for the 1st time in weeks for a drink at a ba.... well outside terrace.

Im still going to avoid the main town attractions, its just too busy and not at all happy that social distancing can be observed.

In other news,  FBR did a lovely after hours office gig on Friday evening, and it was genuinly good to play, the audience of office workers staying apart and we on our "stage" 1.5m apart.
The video though!!!...There's a beachball playing guitar... as much as Jirawan thinks I look sexy (she's serious...crazy lady) I don't want to be a beachball..  98.0kg dead this morning...hoping to see a 97.9 tomorrow.

Ahthankyew

and another one bites....no more

So thats another of my rapidly reducing number of teeth gone...right bottom canine...been loose for weeks got much looser today and I managed to wiggle it out, with a final tug from a pair of manly pliers..

Sounds worse that it was...really wasn't..

It had to come out...but now I need to get some new falsies  again and hope my one remaining premolar on the bottom right is going to stay strong.  I suspct the whole of that side of the jaw is going to deteriorate over time though. I'll wait a week for the gum to settle back down again then book dentist.. At least I have insurance to cover it.




Ahthankyew

Please be wrong Brian..

today Breda opened up again, at least outdoors, but when I went online what I saw was crowds, loads and loads of crowds...

I'm going to wait a week-10 days...if there's no spike, then I go out and apologise to all...until then, I'm sorry but I think this is lunacy..

Ahthankyew