Saturday, 22 November 2008

I had a dream.

What is it about dreams, they clearly make no sense sometimes yet there's a whole field of psychiatry out there that specializes in dreams.
I tend only to dream (or to be more accurate, remember my dreams) when there's a lot of drink involved

So last night, I was out with Steve from work, and a lot of drink was involved. After calling it a night around 3am (love this place :) ) I went straight to bed when I got in.

9am however I woke up after having the strangest dream I can recall..not a nightmare as such though it disturbed me so much I had to get up and go have a wakeup coffee.

So..I'm out somewhere with Bina, and we get back to a hotel room, where after a kiss goodnight, she goes to a separate adjoining bedroom, and we both settle down so sleep

"zo zis part is ferry interezting"
"Why zo, I mean so?"
"Zer is some feeling of zeperation beetween you und zis Bina"
"Yes I miss her a lot"
"Ja, zo continue pleeze"

As I'm dozing off to sleep, my brother (Hi're in my dreams, how's that for being famous) walks in the door, slightly inebriated. Without missing a beat I explain that Bina's in the other bed and he'll have to share my (thankfully king size bed)

"and tell me, haff you ever had any eroteek dreamz about your bruzzer before"
" it wasn't erotic, he just needed somewhere to sleep...and why are you interrupting my story"
"Zorry please go on"

So Col and I are dropping of, and in walks a attractive if a little large black lady, whos not only large in stature but large in life, with corn rows and strange 70's style white boots and tight skirt (too tight for someone that size if you get my meaning) and lacy top

"haff you ever zeen zis voman before, ze vun vit zee vhite bootees?"
"nope, never seen her, don't recognize any part of her at all"
"But she vos vearing vhite bootees, I vil make a note yes?"
"ok, now shut up so I can get to the disturbing part"

This lady then starts to complain that she's hungry, not sure if she was talking to me or Col but she starts hunting around the room for food, finds the usual complimentary biscuits near the kettle and scoffs them while looking out the window.

ok ok now is all odd, but heres the bit that bothered me.

She then notices something outside the window..And opens it and starts to climb outside. Her platform style 70's boots being totally unsuitable to the task. At this point I'm sort of a camera above the window looking out and I realize this hotel room is high VERY high up in the air; and she's dangling on a tiny ledge trying to reach over to a balcony where a chap is sitting having his breakfast sat on his deck chair in his white dressing gown.

"and do you recognize zis man"
"nope complete stranger, like the big black woman"

She reaches over and somehow manages to snaffle part of his continental breakfast of cheese and bread and stuffs it in her mouth while at the same time having some kind of muffled conversation with the chap who's not a happy bunny but does not really seem to prevent her helping herself.

She then tries to get back into the room, but just can't quite manage to find enough purchase in her platform boots on the tiny ledge and is incapable of hauling herself into the window which has somehow gone from being a step out window to being around chest height.

Now at this point I'm starting to get quite distressed, and never having been too keen on heights when awake, I'm starting to get images of this woman slipping and falling miles and miles to the ground, so I get out of bed somehow and reach over to try to help her.
Col is in bed and complaining about trying to sleep and not happy about the commotion.

I grab hold of her just as she starts to slip and of course we then end up with the classic guy holding strange large black women with tight skirt (but magnificent boobs from this angle I have to say) while she dangles miles in the air with her mouth full of cheese and bread and mumbling something incoherent.

"vhy vos it incoherent"
"The cheese and bread, were you not listening?
"Zorry I zink I dropped off"

So I'm of course not being the hunkiest chap in the world, I'm unable to haul this fairly large lady in to the window, but somehow I am able to keep hold of her, and noticing the guy in the dressing gown is still on his balcony (which seems to be a lot further away now) I start to swing her to him with the intent of getting him to somehow catch her and he casually signals, "ok yeah send her over", while remaining seated until I've got enough of a momentum going in the swing that she'll get there.

Ok so this all sounds very comedic and strange but I was getting more and more stressed as the window frame starts to crumble from the pressure of me trying to pull this large lady in and and.

And then I woke up....heart pounding and feeling quite unsettled and unable to get that last image of the dream out of my head, so I went to get some coffee.

"so what does it mean"
"I zink it goes back to your childhood, vos your muzzer black?"
"Oh, ok zen, vos your mozzer fat?"
"How about vhite bootees, did your mozzer vear vhites bootees?"
"Did you get zee ladee vif zee bootees number?"
"No, I have no idea who she is."
"Zen I haff nozzing, and our time is up, please can you go talk to zee man vith zee nice warm coat over zer?"
"Oh the hugging coat?"
"Ja, zats the vun."

So anyway, dreams are weird. I think trying to make sense of them is like trying to...make sense of something that makes no sense and was never really designed to ever make sense, ermm I'll get me coat.


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