Not a total loss then

I heard through the grapevine that Benta graduated from her Masters course...So no November retakes, I assume she managed to do a summer block E for her one retake either way it means she's done it and she can move on now.

I am pleased for her, she did work hard at it, and also for me personally knowing that the effort is not wasted is good, there was a lot of financial hardship and personal confict to deal with which would be a sad waste of all kinds of effort if she had not finished the course

I doubt my contribution will ever be recognised, it's telling, that she has not let me know herself as she basks in the congratulations of her friends!.

Maybe in 10 years or so when she matures a bit, but for me I am pleased it wasn't all for nothing in the end. I hope she makes good use of this and has a good life because of it.

Time to close that chapter, and not look back.

Ahthankyew

owwwwww fuck owww shit

Im in pain, serious fucking ow ow ow pain.

Tendonitis in my elbow from guitarrerring too much, it is fucking agony

got a gig on Saturday, then nothing till Oct, so going to try to not touch a guitar for a few weeks to see if it calms down.

Also have to have some physio and lots of paracetamol as an anti infmamitory.

grr


Ahthankyew

Back to school

I didn't want to go, but I had to...its my job..

But the 1st 2 weeks are always deadly boring, dull, full of meetings, panic planning and reviews... I'm not overly worried though ,we know what we are trying to deliver and I just have to make sure my lesson plans are in order.

Students arrive on the 2nd Sept, and things get a bit more regular and routine then as we get to know them and settle into a familiar routine, of screaming, crying, bewlierment and frustration.. for me at least, not sure about the students.

I've been doing a unity gig for a few months now, in anger, ..and that is well ment, god I hate this.. I loathe engines and their obession with doing things their way.. Im trying to write a simulator for a veehicle systm, thats not a typical vehicle, and the physics needs to be stomped on so much... But the project is coming along and at least I can say I now understand the latest version of Unity much better than I did before. It has been quite a few years since I did much with Unity, probably version 2 or 3 and it has moved up a lot. We only really use Unity for a few school projects these days, we seem to prefer UE4, but 1st years do some Unity, and I suppose I'll get assigned to help them..ugg..

House is still clean and tidy I am happy to report, didn't get time to decorate though, and still have to squeeze in a weekend to the UK while I can..waiting to see if I win an appeal against a fine for running a red light, which I am sure I didn't... If I do, then I can afford a flight, if not.. have to postpone.




Ahthankyew

hmmmm

21st century geek issue... can't get the new PC to drive the projector, and 3 monitors and an oculus

I guess it was asking too much.. but maybe if I can hook up the 1050's spare display port, rather than the onboards 2nd DVI,  to the projector it might work...adapter ordered... We'll see.

Its not really an issue though, I am unlikely to want to play games on the projector, or make presentations up there, and I am genuinly delighted with the new PC. Never thought I'd be this happy with a new system; there is always a lot of, where is that app gone or why wont this work now when I change work laptops.
Sure, I am only using it for 1 specific thing at the moment, even then I am still using my dev PC for most other things...but I find myself quite enjoying working up stairs.. I may indeed make the full move..we'll see.

Weight loss progresses well, I've now lost 7.2 kg, which is more than a stone... At least 20kg to go though, I checked my BMI and as expected I am considered very overweight. A short skinny runt like me should be around 70kg, not 99.2kg as I was. Still sticking well to the 1 (or 2 very) low cal meal a day. The odd cheat if I am out, but the loss is continuing at a steady 200-400g a day.  I'm looking forward to seeing 89.99kg in a week or so.. The dog's less keen on the long late night walks, but they are part of it.




Ahthankyew

Well this is better than I expected

The new PC is amazing and has a feature I honestly never noticed.. It has on board graphics, pretty shitty low level on board Intel, graphics but still.. They were naturally disabled in favour of the (now medium level) graphic card a GTX1050ti I had asked for.

The 1050 is a great card and more than meets my general needs and VR requirements, but  it does mean I have to dedicate the HDMI slot to the VR and that leaves only a Display port and DVI for monitors, so 2... I like 3. I hated having to sacrafice a monitor on my dev PC to a VR unit.
So I decided to try and go into the BIOS and activate the onboard graphics as well, fully expecting them not to... but they did.. And now I can drive up to 6 monitors, 3, dvi, 2 display ports and 1 hdmi

I still have to dedicate the hdmi to my Oculus, as it does not really play well with switches. but that leaves 5 ports open to use for editing and coding, just the way I like it. :D

I only want 3 though, a centre monitor, a side portrait monitor, and a side landscape monitor.  I will put 1 more of the dvi's to use to drive an image to the projector should I want to play games. :D

I don't quite know how the gpu's are working, it may be, I need to drive a fast game to a monitor hooked up to the 1050ti, but thats easy to arrange.

I am really pleased with this arrangment... now if I just had a decent chair upstairs, I might move all my work to the studio... but for now I'll keep this as a summer place to work.

Ahthankyew

New PC day... so soon?

DPD finally delivered the PC to the pickupshop, again after 2 attempts it seems, when they were not officially open, so it is here now, on Saturday, not Monday as they stated...terrible company..but at last I have a budget upgraded PC.

I mean it has to be 9 or 10 years since my last one?

As I've noted before, I am not someone who has to have the very latest PC's, I get the most powerful one I can afford at the time, and keep it uptodate with occasional drive and graphic card updates as long as possible.

Pretty sure I have had the current one for at least 9 years, and it itself was a refurb several new graphic cards and SSD drives have kept it working but its started to show its age recently and had a couple of unexplained crashes that scared me.... So Ive splashed out on a new refurb. This isn't going to be my main PC though, just a back up for use upstairs when the heat gets too much. The Main PC does indeed still need to be replaced in the next year or so, but it still servicable for the moment, for much of my work. Though it does chug a bit on VR projects. I will do a major upgrade on that around Christmas bonus time when I should have recovered my finances after the year of paying out.

The new PC is an off the shelf refub gamer PC from ebay, with the same 1050ti graphic card I've found works well in my current PC, but this has a later gen faster I7 CPU, 2600 @3.4ghz compared to the i7 860 2.8ghz on my main PC, its quite a bit faster. Also 16GB of new RAM compared to 8GB and.... though the benefits of this are less obvious to me, Windows 10.. not 8.1 they also sent me a pretty naff wired keyboard and mouse, and a refurbed Del monitor which is quite useful.. so overall not bad for £392 . Im pretty sure the old one cost a lot more than that. Its not  very exandable though, only 1 slot for a graphic card, and one IDE for any extra cxards I might want to add, but it will do the job.

I've turned off all the horrible flash LED fan lights and got it set into a more sedate, quiet fan update in the background mode and its all good.

Just starting the process of setting up the 100's of dev tools I like to have available, all of which take forerver to download. The supplied mini dongle for wifi didn't really cut it, but lucky I had another dongle that has an antenna that gives a good solid signal and the PC is busy doing its thing for the next few days of downloads.

I'll leave it in peace to get on with it.



Ahthankyew

DPD are the worst.

I really don't like DPD as a courier service, I make a point never to use them, after seeing how the throw parcels around, marked fragile, and how they spectacularly messup up deliveries.

Once again I see their incompetance in action,  I didn't choose to use them of course, but a new PC I bought on Ebay is being delivered by them.

They tried to deliver on Thursday, when admitidly I was in bed, and didn't hear any buzzers, ok, well thats a bummer.. But at least they redirect to a local store.

I accidently went to the store yesterday after 4 only to have it noted the not entierly clear tick box on the note said it woudl be there Friday after 4.


oh ok, so this morning, I notice another DPD note through my door, with no actual info on it this time.. So it looks like they tried again...and again the buzzers failed to wake me, it turns up in fact the batteries on the upstairs one are dead, but the downstairs one is fine and more than loud enough to wake me....so we can assume he only pressed one.

tits... but nevermind I will go to the bicyle store and get it...at 4-30 and no its not there...they have no clue where it is.

after managing to work out the tracking code I get this

02.08.2019	10:21	Etten-Leur (NL)	Unfortunately we have not been able to deliver your parcel. Consignee not located for second time. The parcel will therefore be stored for 7 days and then automatically returned to consignor. Please contact DPD.
01.08.2019	18:15	Etten-Leur (NL)	We're sorry but your parcel couldn't be delivered as arranged. Pickup parcelshop delivery after first delivery attempt.
01.08.2019	10:11	DPD data centre	Redirected to the following Pickup parcelshop: SCHIETECAT TWEEWIELERS
01.08.2019	10:11	Etten-Leur (NL)	Unfortunately we have not been able to deliver your parcel. Pickup parcelshop delivery after first delivery attempt.
01.08.2019	07:29	Etten-Leur (NL)	Out for delivery.
01.08.2019	02:15	Etten-Leur (NL)	At parcel delivery centre.
31.07.2019	01:18	Heywood (GB)	In transit.
30.07.2019	18:38	DPD data centre	Order information has been transmitted to DPD.

So did they even try to take it to the Tweewielers store??  who knows  It looks like they tried to deliver at 18-15, the shop closes at 18-00

I have pinged them on facebook...and put new batteries in the upstairs ringer...they better try again tomorrow or give me info on how and where I can pick it up.

I really don't like DPD..

Ahthankyew

Studio almost ready :D

Another on the todo list ticked off, my upstairs studio has been in disarray for many months, I just wasn't that bothered when the house wasn't my own.  But I've been cleaning, sorting, throwing things out and properly storing shit all week, and it actually is starting to feel comfy again. The big old, no longer used Pedal boards, have been stripped and stored, and the pedals put away. I may sell some on ebay.

Work desk is tidy and set up with mixer units and Mac Mini's updated (I have 2, the old one can't quite hack it any more, but all its apps are transferred to a more recent, but still old 2014 model), and guitars are no longer littering the floor, they are in their cases or on the wall out of the way. Still some sorting out to clear the "bookcase" where all kinds of crud is stuffed but that can wait till next week.

I set up the new (sat doing nothing for a year) humax freesat unit so I now have a working TV/Movie system up there on LCD and on projector. I don't have cable TV anymore, but I might set up another NLEx streaming box up there for catchup TV (it won't stream unless it has direct cable network access).  Tidied up the wiring and DVD/s too, so I can find movies I've not got round to watching yet.

That now gives me, full media access, and netflix on TV or Projector with sound routing out the cinema system.. happy :D

A new (refurbed) Gamer PC is heading its way to me, mainly for gaming, but also for occasional work when my office is too hot.  Its a slightly higher spec than my office PC, but I won't swap it out just yet, I will save up for a mega machine sometime around Xmas bonus time. The Gamer PC will also be able to route its output to its Monitor, or the Projector or a VR headset. I havn't made up my mind if I want a console in there, probably not considering I actually seldom play games these days...hmm maybe.

All that once again makes the studio into a man cave with all my toys, interests and stupid shit in one place.

And finally, all the old useless sky boxes, cable boxes and assorted dead junk are in the car to take to the tip for recycling or dumping.

I can't say its exactly "sparking joy"(I've never watched the show, I just keep hearing people say it)  getting rid of crap, but I am starting to feel a bit happier that the house has less, better clean this up, rooms to deal with.

Ahthankyew

5KG lost...:D 20 to go

I havn't mentioned the diet in a while have I... well its been a bit up and down, I've had a lot of trouble dealing with the hunger part of a diet, which is always the issue with diets I suppose :D I tried all manner of things to avoid hunger, eating small meals often, etc.. but the hunger could claim me and I'd go nibble on a few carrots, or a cake or a curry....it wasn't good.

I was still working on the diet, I was cutting back on my intake and weight is dropping, but slowly, and each cake/curry/pizza relapse would set me back to the start again and undo a lot of the good work in a week. I needed to take a more drastic action.

And that happened because recently I was rather inspired by an old friend John Pickford who has been doing a keto diet and lost a massive amount of weight.. good for him.

I didn't really want to do the Keto thing though I did it years ago and it did work, but for me it never really made me feel good.. But I noted one thing in his comments that was interesting, he only has 1 meal a day.. and its a stunner.. lots of protein, fat as per the keto concept, and minimal carbs,  it all looked good, but there was a key point he mentioned, he also said hunger pangs fade after a while.

Now that got me thinking, instead of fearing and ultimatly trying to quench the hunger pangs , just embrace them, treat them as a withdrawal symptom and try to do one low calorie meal a day.

And yup, it is true, after a few days of genuinely uncomfortable hunger, the pangs do indeed get less and as long as the meal is fairly filling with some protein in it, hunger pangs fade. I'm not saying they go, I could easily nip to KFC right now and demolish a bucket, but the pangs are not overpowering me to do that. I can keep them in check now.

I now focus on trying to have only 1 meal a day, and even then its a very light one, something like noodles and chicken, or rice and beef. And importantly its not a massive portion. So I'm only eating 500-800 kcal a day.. often less.  I can make one chicken breast into 4 or 5 portions of noodle topping. its really not a lot, but having it in there does wonders for the hunger. As does making sure the noodle broth does not boil away, having it as a soupy food makes it last longer, and adding water does nothing to the calorie count.

A packet of noodles is 100kcal and I'm using only a small amount of protein (beef/chicken/pork) to suppliment it and some veg for vits.
Some days I might have  bit more, like a steak, or chicken leg, but I keep the carbs to a minimum, so a small amount of rice or couscous, and the lucky dog gets to have the fat/skin.

Also I'm doing a lot of cleaning and tidying and moving stuff around in the house as I complete my spring/summer clean so I'm being as active as possible

This has seen my weight drop much faster, from 50-100g a week (when not cheating), to 100g or more a day... not suprising as its basically starvation level, but its not uncomfortable.

I'll keep this up, but today I had a little whoo moment as I hit a 5Kg lost target, I hope to lose another 5 before going back to work. Watch this space.



Ahthankyew

I was hoping the bills would drop.

With summer you can usually expect a drop in the bills, no heating means no boiler.. But now we are in the midst of a heatwave with a record 39+ deg expected today.. and I've got my airco, evapcooler and every fan in the house on with all windows and blinds closed... in an effort to drop the temps.

It is hot as hell, and I am trying to do some work in the midst of it, mostly though I find its best to just work at night, as the computer fans themselves kick out a lot of heat and nothing really gets done as you are seeking a non sweaty shirt or trying to keep my bollox cool....its awful.

Time to start doing rain dances in the hope of the thunder that will come to cool us all down..


Ahthankyew

oh this is not normal

Its easy to blame global warming  for the current heatwave...but it is.. global warming

jeeze its hot, it hit 38 today, I have to stop work at 11/12 and hide in the attic for hours till things cool, down, the air con is amazing but very loud. 

My Office PC has died on me once due to overheating, and right now has its fans on full blow, so its going to pop again any second. There's not much I can do about it in the office, the air is too warm, in too small a space, and there's no way to cool it even with an evap cooler and fan blowing in chilled air.

As a stop gap, I've cleared my desk upstairs and now have my laptop and a monitor/keyboard set up so I can work up there, its not ideal, my laptop is more powerful than my PC but it can't run my oculus until I get a decent USB bus on it, but at least I can escape the heat and do a bit of work on some things.

I will probably buy a 2nd gaming spec PC and set it up there, if nothing else I can play games on my big screen but it will also be a decent 2nd workstation. Cost is a factor though I don't play many games at all, but need a min spec, will have to see what I can find on ebay.

I don't really want to work up there though, its very much a play room, so any work done is only because the air con allows progress.

Its a good job I've been clearing the attic out, making space for me to watch movies and play in the cool, even if it is noisy.

The heatwave will hopefully break soon...just waiting to hear the thunder.


Ahthankyew

one room at a time....well half, mabye a quarter.

Its a bit late for a spring clean, but I'm having one, time to spark some joy, or whatever that shit is...  and clear up.. I'm going through each room in turn, and finally throwing old shit out, cleaning up and getting myself ready to do a bit of decorating later in the holiday.

The Spare room wasn't untidy, but it needed to be cleared out ready for guests..the kitchen has been stripped, My Bedroom has been declutered and dusted, the studio is getting rid of a lot of old electronic/move/tv crap that is no longer used..I sold some of it..and will junk the rest.

Aside from making more space in the studio to allow for movie and music nights, I'm also setting up a 2nd workstation up there, using my laptop as a working PC (its actually more powerful than my desktop). This is for 2 reasons... one..music and video and two, Air con... its going to get stupid hot in the next month or so, and I have projects I need to finish, so I want to avoid working in my underwear with my back sticking to the leather chair this year.

I'm going to give the kitchen and lounge a nice coat of paint as well as finally wallpaper (just woodchip) the walls of the studio which have been plasterboard exposed since they were made 10 years ago...its time.

And the back yard, starting to clear that up too, getting rid of the old wood and other crap,  (literally, since Harvey has used it as an emergency toilet a bit too often)

This time next week, I hope to have a nice sparkly clean house.... now if I can just induce some pretty young ladies to come in and inspect my new 20ft well in the basement.


Ahthankyew

And I have the house to myself again. Which is actually good.

So for the last year or so I have had a house guest, my failed attempt to start a relationship with Benta resulted in a situation where for better or worse she had to stay here to complete her Masters degree.

I felt it was up to me to allow her to do that and let her stay in my spare room and allowing her some funding to be able to commute and socialise while she was here...in short, I was paying for her to live here...

It wasn't easy, in fact it was at times quite a struggle, but I did feel it was the right and honest thing to do, since I had brought her here, leaving her life in Kenya behind. I had a sense of responsibility and duty of care. Even though many people said it was crazy, I felt it was the right thing to do.

But, I only agreed to a year... and once that year was over, I was expecting her to make plans to move on, or return to Kenya, her preferred option.

She made no plans, and indeed as a result of failing one course had to do a resit... the problem is she was expecting me to fund that, and to fund her continued stay. That wasn't something I was willing to do, but she avoided that issue for almost 9 months until it was raised and made clear.
Added to that she made arrangments with her university to delay her submissions and internship, not exactly an unusal occurance, but that delay or costs, was not discussed with me.. it was assumed I would "continue to help"!

Over the last 9 months or so, since our attempt at a relationship fizzled out, Benta grew more and more distant, staying in her room, or going out with friends, often staying overnight.. as such communication ceased, and what there was, was mostly via whatsapp, or with passing remarks.. I got a growing sense of resentment from her that was both rude and frankly ungrateful, her selfishness grew as she started to cook and eat her own meals, insisting I buy produce I wouldn't normally get... but she had to eat so I did..

There were several straws, but a few final ones where she demonstrated a total disregard for what was being done for her and a massive sense of entitlement and hate for me, to ignore the simple thigns that I had done for her, that made it clear that my honest care and concern for her was wasted.
There was simply no appreciation for what I had done for her and 6 weeks ago I asked her to leave at the pre agreed time of July 12. A few on line tantrums (blocking communication when she didn't like the answers) followed, but I stuck to my point, She had to leave at the end of her term and make her own way from then on.

As you might expect, she left it late, and a week before the deadline she still argued that she had no where to go, and didn't want to deal with that, and school...

At this point though, I just don't care...my care has been used and abused against me, and it was time for her to deal with the reality of her situation..

Today, a day later than agreed, she packed her things and  I took her to the train station, she said she was going back to Kenya, so thats probably for the best, I don't know where she will get the ticket from but again, I don't care any more. I wished her luck and put the entire painful year behind me.
I do indeed wish her luck, if she's reading this, she had an opportunity to have a totally new life, with or without me, but she choose instead to ignore my efforts, and take advantage of my care and good nature until such a point as I finally had enough.
I feel no shame for ending things and forcing her to move on.. she needs to get a handle on life as it actually is. The irony is if she had just made even the smallest effort to be nice, just be nice, ask me how my day had been, show any interest at all in the person who was making all her opportunities possible, I probably would have funded 3 more months.  But there's only so much entitlement, selfishness, immaturity,  rudeness and disrespect a person can take.

Life isn't that hard to work out... Just don't be a dick to the people who make life better.

I've learned a lot from this too.....I went into it thinking, whats the worst that can happen...... now that I know, I'm never risking it again.

Ahthankyew

Ups and downs.

Today was a good day, after losing my expensive photochromatic prescription glasses a few weeks ago, Robbie at work spotted them on the floor near my chair... yeahhh no need to spend money on a new pair.

I say was...becuase coming home from work I get pulled over by a police car, who tells me I ran a red light... now, this is awkward cos I honestly don't think I did.. but there's nothing I can do or say to convince the very police young man, who was adamant the light was red for over 3 seconds... despite the fact I saw him in theleft turn lane as I slowed to a stop in the forward centre lane behind a van, and on a green light followed behind the van to go through.... I am sure it was green.

But he's having none of it, all the cars on the right were waiting at a red light....which is something I really should have picked up on, had I not been quite flustered at beign stopped.. .yes indeed the cars in the right lane were indeed stopped at a red light.. They don't change at the same time as the forward centre lane...where I was.. and I moved when the van ahead of me moved, on green.

I honestly think he made a mistake and mistook the right red light as a stop forward light...but..what can you do.. I got a ticket and will be fined 240 euros... I'm going to appeal, but...its ultimatly his word against mine. I'm not happyl

grrr


Ahthankyew

what do you mean it won't work?

It turns out my new tv system won't work with the wifi systems, (including the one they supplied)

wt actual f ...it only works with a powerline system, and I've had nothing but trouble with those but decided to give it a go..

managed after hours of fucking about to get the downstairs tv box to work...upstairs though is still in progress... either I buy another extender box and hope for the best or I try to hook up my other powerline system on the same socket...probably not a good idea.

I mean why the hell does it not work on a wifi extender??? stupid


Ahthankyew

21st Century problems

Wires

I hate wires, with a passion, I hate them when playing guitar, I hate them when connecting PC's and devices around the home I much prefer wireless.

So I was a tad pissed off to find my new cheaper internet provider, gives me a very different and more limited cable box, which.....has no wifi
I don't mind the limited cable, I rarely watch much dutch tv so the recording unit wasn't much use to me..and costing me 52euros a month for the all in one package, instead of 33 for this. But that was a cable based system so it came in and hooked into the home wiring, so easy enough to plug a box into a tv socket.

But the 2 new TV boxes need to be plugged into the DSL Modem, with good old fashioned wires
grrr

There is a wireless booster with the pack too, which took ages to get set up, only for it to not provide enough of a bandwidth for the Bedroom tv box to function in real time..it does strangly pick up the stored (on cloud) stuff and some of the general local chanels, .... so it might be an issue of my contract not being active yet.. I'll report it when my package officially goes live in early July

I've spent the best part of the evening phaffing about with a pair of wireless senders, one is working now, and my office is once again wire free. I finally got rid of the long blue cable training downstairs to the power cupboard. I lose some of the lovely 100mb bandwidht, it drops to 20mb/s but thats fine for me.

The 2nd is in the bed room trying to drive the tv box, which as I say limited success, we will see.

A 3rd wireless router is coming tomorrow, which will then be the base unit for the TV/TVBox and Sat box, Blu/ray all of which can connect to the internet for different reasons.. I'll be wire free again soon...




Ahthankyew

the collecting continues

https://www.raspberrypi.org/products/raspberry-pi-4-model-b/

I know, I know, another one....but its a Raspberry :D and its cool and cheap.. though I couldn't wait to throw my money at the top range 4GB version.

This is amazing, might have to write another book just to fully appreciate it.

Its nice to get excited about something, though I worry at the things I get excited about.

Ahthankyew

Maybe I took the collecting a bit too far?

I decided to lay out the contents of the drawer of shame... I have a lot of toys....
No. in all seriousness they are there for a reason, I need to be sure my book projects work on as many SBC's as possible so that someone buying the book with a particular SBC can (or can't if thats the case I can let them know) run all the projects and get a good experience rather than  frustration of getting something to work that won't play nice.

58 of them here, theres a few others dotted around the house or office though, all mine except for the Nvidia Nano, top next to the pinebook, which is the schools, and I'm experimenting with its GPU.
Impressive and sad at the same time eh :D
I didn't buy ALL of them though, many were donated by the makers for review and test and I am very grateful to them for saving my wallet a little bit of damage. Even at an average of $30-50 its adds up when you buy too many of them.

Generally I love my Raspberry's they are reliable and dependable no matter what I do with them, even if not the fastest. The Odroids are beasts, the new RockPi4 is A. M. zing.. The Nano is out of this world and the Nano Pi's are generally really cool systems. Orange and Banana Pi's are a bit of a let down generally due to their shocking software, but for the most part they work..just.
The new range of Rockchip boards, Tinkerboard, Rock 64 and Nano Pi's are stunning and will be an interesting point of progression for the SBC concept.

Some of the more exotic (listen to me trying to make this sound interesting..exotic) ones like the VIM2 and Libre boards are all a bit dissapointing but can be made to work in emulation modes.
The Intel based Up!'s are by far the fastest but also among the most expensive, I only got them due to discounts on kickstarter, but even so only the base models. In practice they are not very mainstream. but certainly great to work on.

The Nvidia is very cool but needs careful coding to get the best out of it, got a 128core GPU, compered to the rest which average 4 (the Up's have 12-16) and can do incredible things when you are careful to really use the GPU.

Its all fun, the only downside is trying to work out what goes wrong with them sometimes when the software is crap and the makers have not put graphic drivers with them....fun fun fun.

Ahthankyew

lost a few

Well I cheated a bit but am still managing to maintain a much lower calorie intake over the week, and keeping myself hungry

But it is working, I've shed a few kilos so far, not quite the 5 kg a week I need  to get my bikini bod ready in a month, but if I can keep it up, I should be looking ripped sometime in August....2022.

The band are engaged in making a video, so we have had 1 outdoor location shoot, which was fun, no playing yet, just lots of chat shots and looking windswept and interesting..
3 more location shoots to go and a studio shoot where we will record 3 of our best songs..thats coming up on Thursday.

Work progresses apace. been doing the freelance project at weekends and evenings, not too many hiccups, its been a while since I used Unity and its updated features threw me a bit sometimes but I'm finally getting into a flow. Though my Oculus headset seems to be a bit unpredictable sometimes...I'm trying to not use it until I really need to.

Not much else to report, waiting for summer hols and hoping the freelance gig's boost to my finances will be felt.




Ahthankyew

first weekend done.

The "new" diet and health plan, is pretty simple, lots of salad, including celery, we'll test the theory you use more calories chewing it than it provides. But also lettuce, grated carrots,  small cherry tomatoes, shallots, spring onion and the secret ingrediant, a small portion of pearl couscous (cooked in stock) with....some kind of meat, or veggie soya chopped up and mixed. A considerably smaller portion than I usually have, ie, 1 burger, 2 small sausages, half a chicken breast, half a steak etc. I could also use cheese or nuts if I'm on a meat free day.
I will try to avoid too many carbs,  so chips, mash and rice need to be rationed.
(I tend to have 1 meat free day a week, I'm going to up that to 3, but not rigidly)

Add some fruit in the shape of a chopped apple, or segmentated tangerine and thats the bulk of my salad.

The salad is tossed in cider and balsamic vinegar with a little seseme oil and seseme seeds.. and  served. on top of the hot coucouse mix...

When all added up, its a carrot, 3 sticks of celery, a quarter of a lettuce, a shallot or half an onion,  and 6 cherry tomatoes, with 100g of couscous and a burger, or some crispy bacon, chicken or whatever, only a small amount of meat, the rest is all veg and very crunchy tasty and filling.


I can certainly live on this for a few weeks..

Far too early for it to have an impact of coruse, but at least I'm not feeling like I'm starving to death. That and the morning 4 spoons of  Musli with semi skimmed milk, and a very light lunch of an ommlette or 1 pack of noodles.. and I'm waaaay und 1500cals a day, as opposed to my usual ,...well more than 2,500.

I can have a bit of fruit as a snack, but thats pretty much it. As long as I don't feel constantly hungry and I'm eating much less the weight should drop off.
I've found sipping ice cold diet cola keeps the evening hunger pangs at bay...so far.

Oh and longer dog walks. as well as excuses to take them, Harvey is not at all impressed though. He's now very old and quite grumpy so hates being lead around, for him a trip out to the grass to be savoured by 20 mins of sniffing before deciding on which blade of grass he pees on. A brisk walk isn' tthis idea of fun at all. Especially it has been noted during the day time when the sun is shining, he's pretty blind now but can see bright lights and finds the transition from shadow to sunshine a bit uncomfortable, causing him to shudder an stop in his tracks.

Anyway... thats the plan, I'll do a weigh in on Monday mornings rather than daily, and we'll see if the trend is down..


Ahthankyew

finally, short hair

At last, I managed to get to the barbers and they were open. I'm all shorn and looking smoooookin'

well tidy at least.

My efforts to diet have been well document on this blog, and its depressing reading back how I keep starting and tailing off, and again ending up like a real life Homer Simpson, (with hair). As much as I admire the chap, I don't want to look like him or have an early heart attack or T2 Diabetes. I keep catching sight of myself in windows and mirrors...jeez I'll be ordering Moo Moo's soon.

Going to have one more try to get both fitter and lighter this year, no point posting the current weights (98.5 you fat bastard) but I do need to get down below 80, ideally around 70. I'm really quite a skinny chap trapped in a fat body, so we'll have to shed a lot of blubber to actually find the real me under this.

I just don't enjoy being hungry, its not something I can easily resist, so need to try to make a lot more effort to reduce my calorie intake and portion sizes...I don't many takaways these days due to finance issues but I do stuff my face with noodles and freezer steaks (I buy big sides of steak and cut them myself and freeze. It works out much cheaper but its very tempting), and am prone to a home made kebab or burger before bed...has to stop.

After 28 years it turns out Danni has a name for her cute and endearing little eye blink she has when chewing, or as a baby, sucking, its called Marcus Gunn syndrome or Winking Jaw syndrome... She discovered this herself with a bit of google fu.  Its not really a problem in any health way, her mum and I thought it was cute when she was a baby and she's never been troubled by it. But we didn't even know it had a name, the doctors at the time dismissed it as nothing. Its quite rare apparently.. Always thought sprog was special :D








Ahthankyew

need a haircut sooooo bad

The Dutch are strange, most of them seem to like my currently unkempt but windswept and interesting hair, but it really is too long. Two abortive attempts to go to my barber have made me more determined to get it cut, but currently very busy finishing things up on the coding side to get another project off the ground.

The Mayday/spring break holiday has been fun and quite relaxing, lots of long lie ins, late nights, and not too much drinking, just getting the hell away from computers for much of the time, but still missing the barbers who have been keeping odd hours, (or I just missed the opening times) due to all the different events going on this week.

Hopefully I can catch them open sometime next week, getting too tired of blowing hair out of my face when playing guitar.

My PC seems to have resolved its issue after a bit of a rebuild and resetting of its bios.  But it is quite old now, so when the finances allow I need to build something new and try not to lose what I have on my current system...which is my usual reason for not upgrading.. Its not that I don't have backups, thats just for data,  but setting up a new PC takes weeks to ensure you have all the same tools, set up the same way and I hate that.

No big tax rebate this year,  the lack of book royalties and some income from the band basically meant I almost made a profit, but there were the website costs and a couple of bits of equipment, but a small return at least pays for my awesome accountats efforts.

In band news...
We have a couple more gigs coming up 1 public one private, and we're performing at a wedding which is super exciting. We need to learn a few new songs but they are going to be nice additions.


Ahthankyew

Ah good, things are looking up

Well it looks like one of my new projects is about to start, that will make a big difference to teh finances and give me a bit more focus that I am needing.

This weekend we have gigs to get ready for, and today I got this through the door. It really cheered me up seeing our band featuring on the flyer. We're going back where we started and it will be a lovely day.


Strangely today a trip to see a student in Leiden went horribly wrong when I got the train stations mixed up and tried to walk to the office from Centraal Station...which is an hours walk and not the 15 mins I was told.. But...it hardely mattered, it was a lovely day, and my 1st time in Leiden meant I was totally lost and got to have a look around. What a nice place.. I'll have to go back next week, so I'll try to have a proper nosey around. And who knows...today might also be the start of a new chapter...we'll see.




Ahthankyew

Annnnd. now everything breaks down

Well this is fun, my PC died last week, its taken a bit of effort but I managed to get it up and running again, though its complaining a lot and beeping at me for no reason...its a Zombie pc, back from the dead...and clearly not reliable now so have to source a new one ASAP.

Also my extremly versatile Qmedia TV/Monitor hung over my work monitors, which I hook up my coleco, SBC's and game consoles to...decided to pop, I came back from the kitchen to a strong smell of electronic burning and the monitor flashing its red LED at me, an unplug/plug effort  seemed to help..but within 20seconds it died again.

Oh and the Dishwasher died last month
and I have a leak in my heating system
And my rates are higher becaue there's 2 of us in the house..

and....I'm totally skint.........only a month till bonus day, which will now be used to pay bills, and replace shit..


Just as I was starting to feel good about life!!!

Ahthankyew

This...this is what life is about.

I love this.... our band goes from strength to strength, we get more and more confident, less and less mistakes with each gig, and our fanbase is growng from 3 to 4...its just amazing. I totally love this...Its so much fun to work with these 2 talented fun people.. I wish I could make a living out of it, but in the meantime my sanity and faith in humanity increases every time we have a gig.

We've got 4 or 5 lined up in the next 2 month. There's been a massive interest and we have gigs every 2 weeks or so all though spring and summer. Its going to be great.

Ahthankyew

so much Brexit shit

As someone living in Europe, benefiting from the many benefits of the UK's membership of the EU, I can't help but look at the UK with my mouth gaping open at the absurdity of it all.

Its not just the harm it will do me personally, and many of those I care about,  its the absolute utter total levels of misinformation, misunderstanding and lies that are spouted, not just by everyday people but by people who really are educated well enough to know that they are spouting actual, provable easy to verify lies.

For 3 years now this madness has been getting worse and worse and worse, as the UK lathers itself into a frenzy just before it pulls the trigger to shoot itself without ever really understanding why its doing it, only that it needs to do it...because.

The EU is not evil, the EU is not trying to take away anyones freedom (quite the opposite in fact), the EU is not bleeding us dry (quite the opposite again), the EU is.....oh man I could list pages and pages...but it won't make any difference, not a jot.

Becuase people just stopped listening..they've entrench themselves and treat anything that might change thier view as something to be resisted...even if the only resisitance they have is the afore mentioned lies, or nanananana..not listening!!! neh.


I've been getting triggerd very badly on this on FB and other social media..trying to repond, politely as far as I can, to give genuine responses, and let the facts shine, but nope, 2 mins later, its the same lie spread and repeated...and ultimatly given form as a new truth. The stress levels that gives me are off the scale and I need to let go. I have to take a leaf from some of my British friends here, we're out of it...its not our problem..

I'm done with it....totally, the UK can go shoot itself in the head and spend the next 50 years in a financial and political wilderness, its become an absolute farce.

I'm currently broke, but as soon as my finances recover in the summer, I'm triggering my own article 50 and starting the process to become a dutch citizen. I just can't feel any reason to stay British as long as this madness continues.

Ahthankyew

New Plan..

ok, so new plan time, love life is a shambles, and I have to be realistic about my ability to generate income for the remainder of my working life, which is realistically only 10 years.....shit I'm old.

Once the financial fallout from my current cock ups are resolved toward the end of the year, I will be  doing my best to increase my pension funds and make efforts to plan my retirement in sunny climes

I'm thinking Thailand.. I know I've only been there once, but I loved it, and a bit of research shows  I can live there very well on a reduced pension (I can't really qualify for a full Dutch pension) and the proceeds of selling my house in 5-10 years will let me buy a really nice home there.

My house in Belcrum was bought for more than it was worth, (part of my buying out Bina at the time) but it has finally gone well into profit and with the rising prices in this area is shooting up so I can indeed get a nice wedge if I hang on to it long enough, of course the bubble might burst but I doubt I'll lose any monrey now.
If I can make 100-200K on the house in 5-10 years. I can easily buy a nice retirement home outright in pretty much any area of Thailand, though I will avoid Bangkok, and maybe Phuket, though I really liked my trip there, its just a bit too.....shall we say touristy. though I do need to be fairly close to a touristy location to ensure some english speakers are around.

I'll make some effort to visit a few more times and settle on a place,  it turns out I have a few contacts who have retired there and can advise me on settling there. I did some searches on line to see what that kind of money can buy and indeed there's lots of options. Of course prices there will also rise, but I can adjust the expectations at the time. As long as I can find a nice home, bought and paid for, no obligations and a regular amount of money coming in I can live out my days, hopefully not stressing out about computer projects..... part of my plan is also to give up computers when I retire and focus on music and self education...no more obligations to other people.

So no more guitars...:( (well I don't really need any more do I), all spare cash goes into the pension or into reducing the mortgage to maximise the sale value

Of course like all plans its subject to change, is Mrs Right pops up, or I win the lottery, or whatever. But I think its important now for me to start planning for my retirement, I won't really be able to survive here in NL when I stop working without a full pension. Its a lovely place to live for sure and I'd live to retire here, but the finances already don't make sense. And no way am I going to head back to the UK to have Danni picking out a retirment home that smells less pissy than another...I want somewhere warm and with options that will let me do fuck all until I drop dead.

I saw some nice homes with plots of land that would be perfet to chill out and relax in for 20-30 years for 100K. 200K would get me even more :D

5-10 years though, not much time at all is it, where did all the previous years go? So much for retiring at 30, then 40...sneaks up on you.





Ahthankyew

Annnnnnd single again.

I think I should fit a revolving door on my heart, or cut the strings or something...fuckit
The anticipated romantic trip for two just wasn't..no talking, no sharing, no romance, no sense of joy or discovery, no silly giggles, no wow moments, no sense of belonging, nothing...thats when you just have to stop farting into the wind and stop. I've made too many mistakes recently to let a deep fear of being alone trap me into an empty and doomed relationship.

There has to be someone out there...somewhere...who actually wants me for me? I will make a bit of an effort, clean up a bit, be attentive and all that, I'm getting quite good at that now...just want to be noticed and loved for who I am...

Thought that was the easy bit.

ho hum.... more rum Brian...
I don't mind if I do Brian thanks.
It tends to make you talk to yourself.
Oh thats ok I've got no other fucker to talk to.


Ahthankyew

Brian the pop star

I'm so incredibly excited at the way our acoustic trio, Famous Belcrum Recordings is taking off.  Gigs are rolling in and we're starting to build a serious following.

Considering my other band's never really managed to get many gigs, this incredible degree of interest, which so far has 7 or 8 confirmed gigs in the next couple of months with more on the horizon. Its making me giddy with fear, pride and excitement.
There's a couple of them are big gigs too, so hopefully that in turn will lead to even more gigs, and hopefully some attention for the summer festival circuits.

Can't post the dates just yet, a couple are still in negotiation but its all amazing. Just amazing.



Ahthankyew

Grandad again :)

Ah bouncing new baby granddaughter.

she didn't let me know she'd gone into labour this time, I was so stressed and worried last time she waited till after...grrr.

But yeah, happy happy happy

Ahthankyew

well this is dull

The diet seems to have flatlined, constantly floating around 96kg,  I guess I am just going to have to increase the physical activity a bit more, uggg excercise .....gulp

Spring break is coming up, its been a bit hectic at work, (and home) so am really looking forward to a  a few days away from a computer in the Dutch wetlands near Rotterdam, I've booked a small holiday place for a few days where Joyce and I can spend a bit of time just chatting and unwinding over the mess we're...I'm making of my life....well we'll see.





Ahthankyew

And gummy Brian is here

Yup, now toothless, but thats ok I'll get to teh dentist soon and sort out some nice falsies....

sigh...falling apart

Ahthankyew

gummy Brian

I've been "suffering" (really there wasn't much suffering involved) from some bone necrosis in my lower jaw as a result of my radio therapy 8 years ago now. As the bone has slowly died, its finally start to impact on my lower incisors, and one has already fallen out last yeat. The other is pretty much on its last legs now and probably going to pop out in the next few days (watch, it'll take 2 months)

Its a bit of a pisser, I could have had them both removed last year by the dentist but I wanted to hang on to them as long as possible.. But its time. I can't really get any implants or other things done, since the bone is compromised and will probably continue to die off for a while yet, but at least when this old fella pops out I can get some false teeth..

sigh...false teeth.. never thought I'd ever have them..but I guess considering the alternative its a small price.

I will now be able to watch all those dentafix adds with a sense of, must try those.

Ahthankyew

96.0 bouncing a bit

Many more salads needed I fear...but I will take the plunge



Ahthankyew

95.8 And all's well

So far so good, the continued small portions and occasional salad at work are having the desired effect.

today is going to be an excercise day...well i say excercise, what I really mean is clean up the attic and office day. Considerably more energetic than anything I'd ever do in a gym.

Going to have a bit of a clear out (no really), time to sell off some of my of music gear I'm not using, still reluctant to get rid of any guitars, even the crap ones, but got lots of gadgets I don't use as I am trying hard to simplify my equipment.

also seriously considering getting rid of my Traps Drums, as much as I love them, I just don't play them any more, and they are a massive space claimer upstairs.... hmmm maybe when I finish cleaning up I'll have a change of heart and do a bit more playing.



Ahthankyew

Well it was a good steak 96.1kg (again)

We had some great visitors to BUAS last week which meant I got to take them out for dinner and drinks at Conb Fuego steak house in town...and what a dinner and drinks it was, there was no way I was not going to pay on the scales for that, even with a few extra days of ...ermmm well I was going to say salad, but not even that I kinda cheated KFC figured in the cheating...great new chips...but the chicken is starting to dissapoint, never thought I'd say that about my favourite take aw....2nd favourite take away. (curry is tops)

It was an amaaaaaazing steak though 500g....a slab of meat followed by an excellent selection of beverages of the alcoholic, and fatterning variety. Oh also starts and dessert....oh my, after being careful about what I eat for a month it was heaven....

yum

anyway, could have been much worse, much much worse :D Back on the diet now, this week we should properly crack 96 and stay in 95.

Ahthankyew

for 1 day only 95.5kg

get in there :D
didn't last long though, a slightly non diet weekend kicked it back up to 96.3 but thats ok, am sure by the weekend we'll see mroe 95 than 96



Ahthankyew

96.1kg but bouncing a bit

I think the body is settling into a clear out now, and its finally starting to drop the fat rather than lose water/crap  I hit 96.1 mid week but it has been bouncing around abit between 96.1 and 96.5 so very much depending on what I eat.

So having basically cleared out and got my metabolism to settle down its now time to up the activity levels and do some...gulp, excercise...

My gym membership seems to have lapsed but thats ok I still hate gyms with a passion, such soulless dull places, I hate the time wasted to go there, the time wasted to do the actual work, the boring and crappy act of exercise and the time to get home and stuff doughnuts in my face. uggg..

I will simply do some more hard walking and try to do a few sit ups and pus.....lol who am I kidding.. I just need to try to be more active and continue to eat less on as many days as possible. I do have lapses but overall its working out.


Ahthankyew

96.5kg keep it coming

ok so thats nearly 3kg since the Fatman incident.... portion control and a bit more mobility but not much in the way of real cardio, aside form fast walks with the dog, who hates fast walks and insists on stopping to sniff, every, single, leaf to test if its worth droping 2 drops of piss on it.

I'm not at all getting used to being hungry, but I just have to keep in mind the 99.2kg

but ok, so far so, good, I am sometimes breaking the rules,  especially in the evenings,with a biscuit or cheese and crackers,  but overall smaller portions, and carrots for snacks is starting to pay off.

Once I get down to 90 I'll up the cardio a bit more and see if we can accelerate things a bit.


Ahthankyew

Another crowd funded meh!

After waiting a year and a half, ....yes a year and a half, I finally took delivery, after paying nearly 40euros for customs, of my much anticipated Jamstack.

oh well. Its a bit dissapointing, its certainly well made and does its job but the claim that it could be used outdoors and be as loud as an acoustic is not even close. 10watts its claimed, my 5W champ is 2 or 3 times louder. I was hoping it might be useful in a busking situation, but not really. (not that I'm planning on doing any busking but I like to be prepared).

It "might" be due to me using my Blueshawk, which as fairly low gain pickups, I'll try it on a humbucker system or a high output strat, but basically its not very good, I'm quite dissapointed.

All told, nearly 200euros...for a gadget that dosn't really deliver and 18 months+ of anticipation.


hmmm much like my love life....sigh.

At least I can sell it, it might help pay for my love life.

Ahthankyew

Edit... yes the higher output on my Suhr pickup Strar is indeed quite a bit louder, but still not at acoustic guitar levels, it can be gained but you get feedback and noise...so..nope, its not for me, I'll put it on ebay, might get back what I paid for it.

Happy New Year

Even though it seems that most of the hassles and agrivation from last year are still ongoing....hmm so much for a redo..

No real resolutions this year, I'm not a fan of the concept, but I do intend to lose weight and improve my dutch....not sure which will be the easy one.

I do have a feeling this is going to be a pivotal year, I'm trying to make more change in my life, and also get out of a very severe professional rut. I tried to get hold of a couple of freelance gigs in the latter part of 2018 but despite some interest, the projects never materialised, which is annoying but c'est la vie.

I've still got Benta living with me,  I haven't really pointed out that in my posts. She and I didn't work out as a couple, that was upsetting and a bit of a life changer, but we have to proceed as best we can. She's going to complete her masters in the coming year and then move on, in the mean time she's a house guest while we try to get on with things.

Financially though it puts a massive strain on me, which I need to do something about, not sure if that means a new job or trying harder to find some freelance work.

 I'm very very dissapointed in the book income, not in the book itself, or the process but the actual getting hold of any money its making is just such a bloody chore. I've learned a lot about how publishers work, they really are not the interested in looking after your interests...nieve on my part I think but hey ho. They will get round to checking my sales at some point, and sending money, probably in the form of a useless check (US spelling) but it will come, in the mean time frugality and focus has to be the key themes this year. I'll have to chase them in a few weeks.

Another book is in the works, but only as an expansion of my magazine articles, and I won't make much on that, but every little helps.

Anyway....its going to be a busy year, I hope I can get my motivation levels up to handle it.


Ahthankyew

a good start 97.2

I can probably say that the 99.2 kg was due to a mega kebab or something, but I have been careful to try to eat less after the shock, before the serious business of the diet starts and its startig to show results.

2Kg already, mostly due to the standard clear out of the old digestive system, so we'll call that the starting point.

The diet is simple, 1 main meal per day and not a massive portion.I need to eat musli/bran each morning, I don't normally eat brekkie but the metabolism needs to be able to know when the food is coming and not start complaining about being hungry by 10-30.

Lunch will be a small salad, preferably with protien, such as smoked salmon, but maybe some goats cheese, ham, or bacon. I do like a honey and vinegar dressing though, so that will also happen.

More protien, less carbs, and for snacking, its carrot sticks and soup, I just bought a months worth of cupasoup from Makro, as well as a fair amount of chicken.
I will top up with fresh salad (no point trying to constantly make my own)

so chicken, (no skin), pork chops (no fat..sob), steak (yum), some sushi/sashimi.I won't make quite so many stews, mince etc...but I won't totally abstain, just small portions.
I also have to get some fish, fresh.
And of course,  more walking, cycling (I can't run, don't even bother trying to tell me) and stairs, and as soon as possible the gym (shudder).



Ahthankyew

And I'll start before new year

Fatman is now going to make a start on losing the name.

I'm on a diet

Stop laughing at the back, I'm quite serious, I've lost a little bit since the 99,2kg shitfest, but I now have to make a serious start and reduce my calorie intake and get back to the gym, or at least get in a lot more cycling and walking (weather permitting)

I didn't have a massive pig out on Christmas dinner, the only real extravigence was cheesy mash..was lovely. but 1 plate of beef and potatoes with roast carrots..yum


1 hot meal a day, and switching to low cal, high protien dinners, as well as some non sugar musli or bran (at my age...I need it)


oh.... and booze, once a week and only a couple.

Ahthankyew

55 solar revolutions

So,...55, it feels much the same as 54, a few more aches, a few more lines, a lot more lbs and a few more regrets.

Trying very hard to see the positives but I'm really not sure, there's some bright spots in my love life, but lots of complications, some serious downsides to my finances due to the previous misfires of my love life.
I spent the day largely alone, doing some work, and not finding much pleasure in it.

I am also starting to look to new pastures, not something I've done for a while as I've been very happy here, but lack of engagement with work and brexit are making me re-evaluate what it is I want from life, and at the moment I've not toally decided. I see 20 years of mortgage still to pay, and a sense of tiredness and lack of working motivation thats hard to really get over. I work all the time, but seem to achieve very little.

meh....55 kinda sucks, I wish I could go back to 50, that was much more fun, but onward...ever onward.


Ahthankyew

holy shit Fatman!

99.2kg.

99 point fucking 2 kg

man that is heavy, and I thought I was keeping my eating under control....clearly not.. starting to wonder what more I can do... I really am not eating so much, nor am I drinking ...quite...so much

its going to hit 100kg, its one more sausage roll away.

really need to fix this.

Ahthankyew

Another book?

hmm a publisher got in touch to ask me to write another book, not the same publisher and not the same topic.

Very interesting, I'll give it some thought, I am still really working on the 1st one though making sure the website is fully working and supporting readers, so need to consider if I have the time to do it

I am planning to collate the 12 monthly tuts I wrote into a book/pdf download though so maybe once I've done that I'll consider it.

But still :D a publisher got in touch, has a nice ring to it.


Edit... not going to do it, they sent a list of topics they wanted coverered in only 6/7 months...just not viable, I passed. I might try to write a few things down about the basics of AI though and see if I can collate it into an introduction book on the subject without all the buzzword bingo that is associated with AI.  First expand the articles though

Ahthankyew

went back to work...that was a mistake

5 days of cold and I thought the worst was over...so went back to work, after 2 hours I was drained and close to fainting.....thats not good, came straight home to bed for 3 hours....

It is just a cold but its certainly hitting home, lets hope the chest infection dosn't set it.



Ahthankyew

Cold Season begins

And what a start, got an immediate, wake and feel like shit cold, headache, ribs, running nose, sore throat, rattling lungs..the whole 9 yards.

wonderful...  Since I tend to get chest infections from these extreme colds I can look forward to a nice month or so of coughing before the doc gives me some AB's

Sigh..well there's worse things going on so I just need to take a few days off to get over the worst of it.
At least I can work from home, when not splattering the screen in sneeze snot...

And no the tissues are not for watching porn, before anyone asks

Ahthankyew

Sad and frustrating

I heard yesterday that my daughter has suffered a loss in her family, her older half brother passed away aged 41...no age at all. He was for a while also my step son, but we've not kept in touch since his mother and I split. Even so I feel a sense of loss too, but no where near what my baby is going through. There's nothing worse than losing a child or a sibling.

I wish I could do something to comfort her, she and her mother are going though hell at the moment, and there's really nothing I can do but send best wishes and be here if she needs me.

This is one of those situations where being away from the people I love is hard.



Ahthankyew

People you think you know are shits

I know a lot of people, I mostly, genuinly like all of them, a few I don't and generally I keep out of their way and they avoid me. the balance is maintained and everyone is happy. But its interesting how your view of the people you know can be radically changed when you discover what they say about you behind your back.

I had a bit of a facebook spat with an old collegue, nice enough chap, but got a bit of a bee in his bonnet over global warming (its all fake!!!) we've engaged a few times, its got heated but it was for the most part sound debate. But his comments on the recent Iceland rangtang ad which highlights the deforrestation and loss of habitat for Orangutangs was a final straw for me, he actually tried to posit the view that the deforistation is due to "green loons" use of palm oil as a bio fuel. Yes that happens, but its a tiny and now largely abandoned concept... The real issue is due to the use of Palm oil in cosmetic and food products....anyway.. I'd had enough, I stopped engaging and banned him from my FB.
It's only the internet after all, and while I don't really like the idea of avoiding a competing viewpoint,  and re-enforcing his echo chamber of denial, I can't deal with utter bullshit being pushed as fact over and over again, so I'm better off just cutting it out.

Of course he's pissed, and thats fine, he'll get over it, we probably arn't going to meet up more than a few times at some work events so its no great loss to my or his social life. But I got wind of a facebook conversation with him and a few other people I know, also who I've cut out of my FB for being nasty fuckers.....what a bunch of miserable hate filled misanthropic cunts, every single one of them. One even suggested writing a bad review of my book just for the fun of it....what the fuck is wrong with people that they seek to gloat in causing harm and discomfort of others, worse, that they  even try to promote it.

Anyway, moral of this tale, people you know are not your friends. they're seldom more than backstabbing sad fuckers who find pleasure in running or attempting to run others down. Life is much better without them.



Ahthankyew

Been a bit busy

And a little down, the passing of my friend Soeren, hit me much harder than it should, I have been taking note of how many friends I've lost in the last few year to different causes, and its been a little upsetting to note that as I get older my list of good friends I've spent time with in my youth dwindles.


hmmm sad, but its how it is I suppose, life goes on for some of us.

Also work is stressing, as we come to the end of the block and grading hell is here, we have to cope with new systems that don't work well and we're flapping about trying to make sure no one gets the wrong grade....the old systems worked just fine, but people are so intent to tinker they risk things breaking....



Ahthankyew

You Bastards

A painfully sad day today, can't explain in detail as his family are keeping things quiet, and I have to respect that. But I need to share...a dear friend passed away tonight, a genuinely lovely man, with whom I spent many evenings in far flung corners of the world, talking shite and getting drunk, and always expected there to be many more.

Getting old has many downsides, but the loss of such friends is easily the hardest to take... RIP mate. I'll have a few in your name.

Ahthankyew

still waiting for the bad one.

It will come, its the internet, it always comes. But I'm still waiting to see the 1st bad review of my book...in fact even the 1st middling review...until then I'll have to put up with things like this


"The Fundamentals of C/C++ Game Programming by Brian Beuken is an awesome book and one I personally have been looking for for some time. Back in the day I have read through other game development books but this is the first one that truly provides real world useful info to help one get started with cross development on a Single Board Computer such as the Raspberry Pi or Beaglebone Black. This is more than just a game development book, it is a great introduction to OpenGL ES development which can be applied to UI development for small devices that support OpenGL ES. The companion website is a very cool compliment to the book and a place where the author Brian is quite active. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in game development on small devices but also folks that are interested in creating User Interfaces for mobile and other hand held devices.

The book is not without its blemishes, but Brian covers much of that on the companion site.

I'm looking forward to any follow up book that Brian creates."

Backo'theNet.....
Chuffed :D


Ahthankyew